But Where Are You Really From?: An Asian-American Struggle

Loneliness is a universal experience that we've all had at one point or another. What's so interesting about loneliness is how we react to it and how the cultures we grew up with direct that reaction. 

This week we're talking about loneliness culture - the places, services, practices, and traditions that govern how we deal with loneliness, as well as the cultural norms that often signal to us what contexts it's "acceptable" to be alone in or not. We take a look at how the Eastern world has approached being alone, from tables for one to rentable companions. Then we explore how the Western world treats loneliness as an individual issue, how difficult it is to forge new connections especially in our adult years, and the impact this loneliness has on the mental health of our populations.

Feeling alone? Join us to get to know your loneliness a little better. And as always, you can always reach out to us and our community if you're ever feeling alone :). Email us at telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com or engage with us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

The armed forces is such an important and foundational group keeping our country (and our friends around the world) safe, but is often under-appreciated or not thought of, especially in the realm of jobs our immigrant parents dream for us to pursue. 

This week we speak with Major David Phetmixay from the US Air Force about his experience serving as one of the few Asian-Americans in this branch of the military. We also discuss how serving in the forces has unexpectedly allowed him to reconnect with not only his Lao/Thai roots through language immersion programs, but also connect with his extended family in Laos while on assignment acting in the key role of translator in POW / MIA missions ("Prisoner Of War", "Missing In Action"). 

We thank Major Phetmixay and everyone else currently or previously in the forces for their service and for protecting the land of the free ????????

As Taiwanese-Americans, we have a complex relationship with China. We are ethnically Chinese and deeply value connecting with the history, culture, and traditions that stemmed from our longstanding Chinese heritage, but at the same time, our families grew up in Taiwan - a place that has developed its own identity, and is certainly run by a very different type of government.

In this episode, we discuss the meteoric rise of China from the original Mao-era Cultural Revolution days to becoming a competitive semi-capitalist world superpower today. We also discuss its controversial policies, its relations with the broader global communities and with Taiwan, and what we think the future holds for China's place in the world. 

Wait, did you know that your hosts are not related!?!

Yes, lifelong friends Jesse and Angela Lin belong to different Lin families! Jesse is an only child, and Angela has an actual brother - Johnny. He's our special guest this week where we talk about the sibling experience. Growing up in an Asian family can be complicated, but the dynamics of family size can make it downright dizzying.

From the pressures of being the "eldest male heir" to the loneliness of being an only child, we leave the sibling (or lack thereof) experience all out on the table. We also discuss how identity can be reflected differently even within the same family when one sibling was born in the motherland and immigrated to the US, and the other sibling was born and raised in the States. Listen in to this episode to hear more about the differences growing up in an Asian family with a sibling vs without. 

Do you remember your first time stepping into Chinatown? It's an otherworldly experience being surrounded by throngs of people and cornered in by restaurants and shops that beckon with mysterious foods and wares. Due to the global pandemic, these amazing neighborhoods are slowly dwindling. This week, we're joined by Jackie Wang and Harry Trinh, two volunteers with the organization, "Welcome to Chinatown." We talk with them about what their organization is doing to help NYC Chinatown businesses during this troubled time - from organizing grants to help them pay rent to getting them get set up on online delivery systems, and more. We also share our best tips for exploring Chinatown now - from the best places to eat to the shops with the most interesting items. 

Learn more about how you can help (donating, buying merch, volunteering) at welcometochinatown.com and follow them on Instagram at @welcome.to.chinatown

For Asian-Americans, it's hard enough to reconcile if you're more Asian or more American... now imagine adding on the additional complexity of figuring out if you're more Asian or more Black. Thus far we haven't delved deeply into the impact that being bi-racial can have on one's sense of self. 

We are joined in this discussion by content creator/actor Ryan Alexander Holmes, who is half African-American, half Chinese. We discuss what his journey has been like being outwardly categorized by society as Black, while simultaneously facing rejection or skepticism from the Asian community for not "looking" like he's Asian... AND, how making his own content on Instagram & Tik Tok about this subject has opened him up to connecting in a positive way with the Asian-American community. 

We also discuss his experience visiting and living abroad in the motherland, where colorism and racism cross paths, how the Asian, Black, and broader POC communities have come together in a post-George Floyd world, and much more.

Note: The episode title is an homage to Ryan's self-proclaimed slogan on his social profiles. You can find Ryan on Instagram and Tik Tok at @ryanalexh. 

We had such a pleasure speaking with the ~positive vibes only~ singer/songwriter AZRA on another segment of Asians Doing Cool Sh*t. 

We discuss what it's like to be one of the only Asian-Americans in the music industry, the challenge of fighting the cultural pressure to "not stick out" contrasted against what it takes to succeed in the U.S., how she's had to adapt in channeling her creativity and how she connects with her fans during the COVID-19 shutdown, and even how spirituality plays into her overall message of positivity that she shares with the world every day. 

AZRA's singles "Dimension" and "Dangerous" both hit #1 on the Independent Digital Radio Airplay charts, and she was selected as a '20 GRAMMY NEXT Artist by the Recording Academy. Check out her latest single "Turn Me On" now (song on Spotify, music video on YouTube). 

You can keep up with all of AZRA's upcoming music on Spotify and by subscribing to her YouTube channel, and can connect with her on Instagram at @theazraofficial 

In another segment of "Asians Doing Cool Sh*t," we talk to Amy Tsang, an actor and filmmaker based in LA. Knowing how stereotypical Asian parents feel about pursuing a career in the arts, Amy defied those norms and made her way into the film and TV industry. We discuss what it was like starting her acting career in Hong Kong and transitioning to the U.S. where suddenly her Asian-ness was something she had to consider in its effect on what opportunities were available to her. We also discuss the positive change that's happening now with a more diverse range of stories being told thanks to the rise of young Asian-American filmmakers taking things into their own hands and creating projects to highlight stories we otherwise would not see. Come be inspired by another cool Asian doing cool sh*t!

We're bringing you another "Reflections" episode where we highlight listeners' stories about their experiences. We hear what it was like growing up in a divorced household and the emotional consequences of trying to "save face," the hardship that immigrant parents had to face to learn a whole new language and re-learn their skill sets to "make it" in America, and how conflicting it feels to see more ethnic food growing in popularity but oftentimes commercialized by non-POC individuals. Join us for a really wonderful range of stories, and write us in your own story to telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com for a chance to be featured in a future Reflections episode. 

It's the spookiest season of the year (and one of our favorites)! We gush over what we love about Halloween and share ghost stories and folklore that we convinced our parents to share with us from the motherland. In addition to some spooky tales, we also discuss the traditions practiced around "ghost month" (July in the lunar calendar), and the difference between the concepts of Heaven and Hell in eastern vs. western contexts. Join us for this ghoulish ride!

It's Election season, and we want you to get out and vote! 

Voting is an important civic duty, and helps steer the direction of our country for the next 4 years! It's also really important to remember to vote in all your local elections, which can really help determine what happens in your immediate community. To stir up some civic pride and learn about the importance of voting in other countries, we've brought on a special guest - Savannah! 

Hailing from Taiwan, Savannah is going to give us insight as to how elections work in Taiwan. We'll discuss the similarities and differences in the voting process, and how that really impacts the ability of citizens to get out to vote. Given the pressures of the Taiwan / China relationship, we'll also talk about how the international political environment influences local voting behavior.

Remember...go, vote bitch! 

Love is in the...wait, no. Actually, we didn't learn much about love and relationships at all growing up. While our parents loved us in their own ways, they didn't impart the communication and analysis skills necessary to survive a modern relationship. And since we both entered the dating game late, we've had to develop these skills "on the job."

Love languages are the name of this game, and this week we'll be opening up about the impacts of growing up Asian on romantic relationships. We'll also be introspecting about what we would've liked to have known about dating. Finally, we'll warm it up with some appreciations of our current partners and what they've taught us. 

In celebration of Indigenous People's Day (fka Columbus Day), we spotlight the experience of special guest Maggie, who is half Navajo, half German. We discuss where the holiday first came from and what it means to her, what impact growing up "mixed" and racially ambiguous had on her sense of self, and stereotypes about native people that should be left in the past compared to the realities of what represents the modern-day native person. 

In today's tense political and social climate, it can be difficult to have nuanced conversations about sensitive topics because certain issues can feel extremely personal. As such, "cancel culture" has become a popular reaction to someone saying something that offends, or is in opposition to, a different group. 

We discuss how difficult it can be to discuss politics (!!), some examples of improper "canceling" being doled out that we've seen recently, the challenge of discerning the truth when everyone has become their own news outlet with the prevalence of live phone capture of incidents, and how we believe we should handle complex conversations. 

I'll make a *blockbuster* out of you! 

Disney's Mulan returns to the home theater as a live-action epic, and boy do we have the sizzlingest review of the movie for you. The live-action film surprised many Disney lovers by taking a significantly different approach from the animated originals. There are no musical numbers, fewer comedic-relief characters, and a less cheerful tone overall. 

Your resident Disney fan (Angela) and resident Dis-meh observer (Jesse) give you an honest review of the movie. We'll be talking about the cinematography, script choices, character performances, and more! We'll also be talking about the many controversies surrounding the release of the film - listen in to find out more. 

To catapult us into Season 2 with something that seems larger than life, we discuss the global sensation that is BTS. We bring ARMY super fans Leslie Kim and Diana Jin on as guests to help us learn more about what the magic sauce is that makes BTS so special and has helped the group smash boundaries to break into mainstream music charts and pop culture at large. We also discuss how being a fan of BTS is different for someone from a Korean-American perspective vs. someone from a non-Korean background, and how they see their affinity to BTS as part of their identities.

We come into this conversation with open eyes, a genuine curiosity, and a willingness to learn as we ourselves are not BTS fans - this episode is for anyone else looking to demystify this phenomenon and for ARMY alike. Join us for this fun adventure as we kick off our second season!

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Podcaster's Note: At some point we refer to Korea as an island instead of a peninsula. This is a brain fart as we're used to referring to our own motherland country (Taiwan) as a tiny island in the East. Oops! :)

Have you ever been asked the dreaded "what are you?" or "where are you really from?" questions on a first date? Yeah, us too. This episode we talk about what it's like dating as an Asian-American. The expectations our parents put on us for our ideal match, our experiences dating in and out of the race, our worst dating experiences, and more!

Cap off Season 1 with us with this final fun episode! We'll be back with Season 2 in Mid-September.

Are you as clueless about birthing and raising babies as we are? If so, this episode is for you! We're joined by special guests Catherine & Mark Kim, first generation Korean-American millennial parents and co-hosts of Mom and Pop Podcast. We talk about the expectations Asian parents put on us to continue our family legacy by having children (esp. sons!), what parts of their Korean heritage they plan to pass on to their now 1 year old daughter, what was completely unexpected in the process of becoming parents, and what advice they have for future parents. 

You can find Mom and Pop Podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. 

Kicking the bucket. Taking a long dirt nap. Meeting your maker. Feelings and thoughts about death can be scary and complicated, so this week we're digging up all those skeletons. From past life regression to our favored (or unfavored) ways to pass, we're giving you our most honest insights on death and dying. 

Beyond our own personal thoughts on the matter, we also face the realities of the near-ish future passing of our parents, and what that means from an east vs. west standpoint in terms of how they see end of life care, burial and logistics of where and how frequently we could visit their places of rest, and dealing with assets spread across Asia and the U.S. 

Talking openly about your religious and spiritual beliefs is fairly taboo in today's society, even though these beliefs can make up a big part of your identity. In this episode, we discuss our varying degrees of religious and spiritual beliefs with a special guest, Lindsay, where we compare/contrast how our beliefs and experiences have been shaped by our different upbringings and individual spiritual paths. We also discuss how searching for a tight-knit community, including the local Asian-American community, has affected the paths that we're on now. Jesse brings an agnostic point of view, Angela brings a mix of agnostic and spiritually-Daoist point of view, and Lindsay brings the evangelical Christian point of view.

Mentioned In the Episode:

• Pascal's wager
• Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu
• Journey of Souls by Michael Newton

Understanding personal finance is so important to #adulting, but no one ever taught us how to manage our finances or prepare for our financial futures - not our immigrant parents, nor the U.S. education system. We are by no means financial experts, but we have picked up a thing or two that have helped us save and plan for the future that we want to share with you. There are a ton of basic concepts that everyone should understand to properly manage your money, and we cover a few of those key topics in this episode.

Episode Topics:

• Loans
• Retirement accounts
• Budgeting
• Levels of risk and types of investments
• Stock market vs. the economy

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RESOURCES:

• Mint.com
• Investopedia.com
• The Richest Man in Babylon by George Samuel Clason
• Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but what happens when you're viewing it through two different sets of eyes? We discuss the standards of beauty in the western and eastern worlds - where they are drastically different and where they are very much the same, our feelings of not quite meeting either of those standards, and the effect that has had on our sense of identity, representation, and self-worth.  

Are you proud to be Amurrican,

The most productive and legitimate way we felt we could address the explosion of discussion around racial injustice spurred by the murder of George Floyd was by examining the place that Asians hold in society as "model minorities." We take a closer look at the bias against the Asian community as a result of placing us in this category, but also the privileges we've gained from the label and the bias we hold against other minority communities (namely the African-American and Latino communities) as a result of buying into this idea that we are just behind the white majority in terms of societal status and importance.

By recognizing these privileges and biases, we hope to bring awareness to the broader Asian community about how we may be contributing to the problem of racial injustice against black and other minority communities, and hope to help us all strive to become better allies. At the end of the day, we are all one community and we need to do what we can to advance equality and fair treatment for all.  

Mentioned in the episode:

• Biased: Uncovering the Hidden Prejudice That Shapes What We See, Think, and Do   By Jennifer L. Eberhardt, PhD
• Original coining of the term "model minority" came from New York Magazine's "Success Story, Japanese-American Style" by William Petterson

We're launching a mini series within the broader podcast called "Reflections" dedicated to sharing listener stories.

Join us for this first episode as we hear and discuss stories about growing up Asian in a predominantly white community, a modern take on filial piety, and how non-Asians have realized what it means to feel like they are "other."

If you would like to contribute a story or experience to a future episode of Reflections, email us at telluswhereyourefrom@gmail.com

Let's air a dirty little secret for y'all - drugs can be both life-changingly fun and spiritually meaningful. We talk about how we cut past the fear instilled by our Asian upbringings and societal inhibitions to explore the world of controlled substances. We share our experiences & the benefits we've gained from taking these substances for recreational purposes and in therapeutic settings. Come take a journey with us and explore the freedom of controlled substances...at the very least you may gain a new perspective.

This week's episode is inspired by the May 2020 theme for Asian Pacific American Heritage Month: "Unite Our Nation by Empowering Equality"

We discuss equality in the workplace, stereotypes that persist about Asian employees as a result of both our cultural upbringings of not wanting to "rock the boat" as well as external misguided misperceptions, and what else has hindered us from rallying more strongly as a community to truly break the glass ceiling that many marginalized communities find themselves stuck under. 

CORRECTION: In this episode we refer to our challenge in professional advancement as the broader "glass ceiling" phenomenon, but there is a recognized term to refer specifically to the challenge in advancement for the Asian community - the "bamboo ceiling"

This week we discuss the explosion of racism against the Asian-American community amidst the COVID-19 outbreak. Each of us will highlight one attack and one uplifting story that have come out of this crisis. 

To donate to the non-profits we mention in the episode that are fighting against hatred, visit the URLs below:

• Chinese-American Planning Council (NY): https://www.cpc-nyc.org/
• Asian Pacific Policy & Planning Council (CA): http://www.asianpacificpolicyandplanningcouncil.org/
• Southern Poverty Law Center (National): https://www.splcenter.org/

We're closing out part 2 of our two-part episode around mental health. We reflect on what motivated us to ignore the taboos we were brought up to associate with mental health and discuss our journey seeking self-care for ourselves.