The F Plus

The Fake Countries Wikia is a place where people can catalog countries that are not real, have never been real, and have never appeared in any piece of fiction or writing before this wiki. As an excercise it's not the most fruitful, and we intended to read about a whole bunch of different countries, but pretty quickly we found our home. This week, The F Plus meets The Alley People.

Similar Worlds is a website where users can share their own allegedly true life experiences in a quest for acceptance, comfort and camaraderie. Naturally, this means going off on insane rants and getting really excited about being strangled by nerd thighs. This week The F Plus sees two things, but mostly your vagina.

I don't know what you'd expect when visiting MC Stories Dot Com, but what you'll end up with is a minimalist website hosting over 12,000 stories of mind control being used for sexual reasons. Some of these stories are very long, but fortunately some are really weird, so let's dig in. This week, The F Plus is feeling electrahorny, so let's have sex... with each other!

The heavily art directed magickians over at BECOME A LIVING GOD have a number of products they'd like to sell you, and about half of those are supposed to help you get laid. There's a slut water kit, PDFs that call themselves grimoires, and there will be time for poetry. This week, The F Plus ensourcles Ally Sheedy The Character (not Ally Sheedy The Person). SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM PORTAXX: Hello again! After this episode I entered a frozen hell and saw the face of the Lord of the Flies himself. It looked like Ü. Terrified, I had to capture the moment before making my heroic escape.

Men love to go on the internet and compare length. In this case, it's just their hair. We're going to be surfing The Information Superhighway and logging on to The Men's Long Hair Hyperboard; a community which has been supporting long hair-having men since at least 1997. It's actually kind of charming. This week, The F Plus wants you to call us to let us know when you're not posting.

There's an amazing array of food out there in the world today, and yet we're still struggling with the question “How can a person get fat?” But, fortunately, “Doctor” Feeder has taken it upon himself to answer that very question... Provided you're a woman with not a whole lot of clothes on. This week, The F Plus is taking The Wall Test.

Crucially, this episode is not about the television show Supernanny. It is about the Supernanny Fanon Wiki, a website with over 10,000 pages devoted to alternate universe fanfiction wherein it's the near-future, but the only cultural touchstone worth documenting is what happened in these fictional episodes of the television show Supernanny and its spinoffs. This week, The F Plus will see you at The Creepy Zoo.

The website MeetFighters is a social network for men who want to inflict pain on one another. This manifests in a number of different ways, plenty of them horrifc, and at least one involving President Abraham Lincoln. This week, The F Plus is gonna punch that dad dad.

Chris Cantelmo is no longer with us, but his teachings remain. He described himself as a Yale Biochemist who, at some point in his life, started taking DMT and had some profound revelations about God. And has it happens, most of those revelations are about DMT itself. This week, The F Plus has a stroke.... a stroke of genius!

You might have guessed, but Root Beer Review is a site that hosts reviews of different root beers. What you might not have inferred is that all of these reviews are (probably) written by the same person, and the other people on the website have opinions, not just on the root beer, but on the person reviewing the root beer as well. This week, The F Plus smells terrible like vitamins and raisins.

The people on r/LucidDreaming have figured two things out. 1: If they touch the top of their heads while they fall asleep they'll be able to control their own dreams. And 2: Real life sex is absolute garbage compared to dream sex. Sounds like some people with helpful advice. This week, The F Plus watches out for Wife Killer Man. He killed his wife!

The website ayahuasca.com has a forum, and its 21,000 members are (as you might guess) fans of the psychoactive drug ayahuasca. Their conversations are quite profound as they understand both gravity and Antarctica. This week, The F Plus gets namasty.

The topic of male circumcision is a contentious one, but fortunely we're able to avoid all of that by simply reading the words of dullards who are doing horrific things to their own skin while complaining about their mothers. This week, The F Plus would like to remind you foreskin fetish does not make sense because the foreskin is part of a man's sex organ.

The capitalist innovators over at Chakrubs have a whole bunch of different crystals to sell you, and they know where you can cram it. From yoni eggs to yoni nunchucks, for spiritual healing, emotional welness, to get over a bad breakup, or just because you're bored - the answer was inside you the whole time. This week, The F Plus is troubled to hear a click.

Five lucky ridiculists from The F Plus Podcast were selected to visit the forums of VacuumLand.Org and read what they found there. You’ll be happy to know that a love of vintage vacuum cleaners totally isn’t a fetish, except for the times when it is. But they’ve got some pretty incredible vacuum collections that they bring to conventions, and also, eventually, it will be time for poetry. This week, The F Plus will need you to hide this in your closet for our boyfriend to smell.

The website Bigfoot Eruption has a whole lot of things to say about Bigfoot. Now, Few of those things make a lot of sense, and fewer still seem to be internally consistent, but the important thing is that Cain and/or Adam and/or Satan is involved, it's a conspiracy, and it's not a bear. Pay attention to your dog. This week, The F Plus gets a lot of milage out of that poo.

Just thought we'd get to today's news after a quick rundown of our court-ordered recognizance.

The redditors over at r/NSFWworldbuilding are constructing intricate creative universes for one reason: To make themselves horny. This week, The F Plus can say so much with ellipses; please listen.

The forum posters over at Fembot Central are (as you might have guessed) aroused by the idea of robotic humanoid women. And they're all too happy to explore the many facets of their specific fembot obsession, despite how often or how loudly you try to protest. This week, The F Plus finds out what Joss Whedon has been up to.

Occultist author S Rob is an incredibly prolific... typist. His work spans the mediums of advice books, spellbooks, instructional videos, essays, general self-aggrandizement and, of course, poetry. We can't cover everything he's written in a single episode, but we can just cover the general tone. Including reading his bio twice. This week, The F Plus sets sail on the SS Metathree. Correction: Boots' original reading of S Rob was at F Plus Live 5: The Finnish Incident Additional correction: Further evidence demonstates that Open University is a legitimate educational institution. Apologies for the assumption, apparently two seconds of Wikipedia is not enough to base a conclusion on in this case.

Here's a simple concept: All of the material in this episode was sourced by searching BitcoinTalk for the word "female". This week, The F Plus (like women) really is a paths duck.

Since 2000, Sex Stories Dot Com has been trying to serve its titular goal: Providing the people willing to look at the website with stories of sexual activity. However, that's not all the site has. There's also essays, product reviews, self-help guides, jokes, and poetry. And that's the stuff we'll be looking at. This week, The F Plus gives you something to listen to during your 15 minute jerk break.

User reviews on Amazon drive a lot of purchasing decisions, so let's have another look at the two most important categories: Cosplay accessories and erotic gay shapeshifter novels. And then when that's done, we're playing The Rites of Price. This week, our dick plumped.

The forums may be gone, but the stupidity still abounds on the Internet Movie Database. Good reviews of garbage movies, bad reviews of good movies, and generally creepy undertones to everything. There's more blood, boobs, and beasts than a document from National Geography. This week, The F Plus' pokery is undoubtedly jiggery.

Fapp is a furry erotic tabletop roleplaying game. Now, credit where it's due, they own the domain balls dot horse, which is a fantastic name. However, as you're about to find out, everything they enjoy is profoundly disgusting. This week, The F Plus requests a court-ordered explungement.

This time around, we're not just going to one subreddit, but five different subreddits, all of which are almost identical, and all of which ask the question "What if my preposterous hypothetical was real, would you upvote me then?" And also Satan really wants to watch you suck off ya boy. This week, The F Plus is real, you family member?

The redditors at r/ZeroCarb have a particular diet they want to share with you, and here it is: Meat. Meat at the exclusion of literally everything else. Every other comestible on the planet contains toxins, so they've found perfect health. Also they're all getting hives and incontinence and a myriad of sexual, respiratory and sleep problems, but that's probably entirely unrelated. This week, we don't mention Jordan Peterson too much, so that's nice.

The folks over at Bulletproof tried selling coffee with butter in it. And not only did that plan work, but their customers were willing to pay a premium for the experience. So with that lesson learned they expanded the product line: Protein bars, tinctures, vibrating platforms, books, computers with pre-installed software. These are products designed to reverse the aging process. And if that sales pitch sounds compelling to you, please give me your credit card information. This week, The F Plus puts the coconut in the fire to relieve this bellyache.

The Psi Wiki is an encylcopedia devoted to the art of pisonics, which takes great pains to make sure that all the information is completely accurate. So with that said, let's learn how to time travel. This week, Venmo @TheFPlus and we'll tell you what your Radionic Box does.

The Redditors on r/BadRoommates are frustrated by their roommates. Why? Well, they'd like to tell you, but that would require a familiarization with the English language far greater than any of them are capable. But the roommates have been warned! This week, The F Plus has a Sour Daddy.

Sourced from all over the internet, we're singing songs of praise and worship (25 of them to be exact) and we expect you to feel our love deep inside you, except not in a sex way this time. This week, The F Plus begins The Upward Spiral.

Hey, this is a gross one! We started reading a Clips 4 Sale document, and then very quickly realized was all about food. We've got recipes, we've got cooking tips, we've got women upside down with their head in a laundry basket, really - all your staples. It's very disgusting, but also fun. And Jimmyfranks bought a whistle. This week, The F Plus can't seem to sell any of this Cookie Puss!

The uncredited former owner of ChemtrailsAreDemonic.org has a very straightforward message to explain to you, but if you think the URL will explain it all, you're going to be surprised on pretty much every turn here. This week, The F Plus gets super efficient at releasing our sperm whales. SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM PORTAXX: Hi! Shortly after recording this episode, I made the mistake of going outside and was sprayed by demonic chemtrails. When I came to, I realized I painted this adorable demonplane while in a possessed frenzy.

Alfredo Bowman (aka Dr. Sebi) made an interesting discovery about germ theory: Namely, that there is only one germ, which causes a disease called "disease", which causes mucus, which in turn causes disease. And germs. Also beets cause perpetual motion. It's all very sensible, so please buy this £40 tea. This week, The F Plus is giving up the moisture.

On January 18th of 2020, The F Plus came to Portland in order to do something very stupid indeed. Sixteen players would come up to the stage, one by one, and read randomly selected content they have never seen before, in order to prove who is the motherfucking best. Achilles' Heelies - From Nightmares & Rockets (an Elon Musk fanfic) by Tesla Pike Frank West - How To Shave Your Genitals (Male) Boots Raingear - How To Get Over Your Fear Of Slenderman Victor Laszlo - How To Ignore Your Husband I'm sorry, Dad. Heat 2 | Heat 3 | Heat 4 | Final Heat

King Lou Fernandez - How to Survive a Freestyle Rap Battle Jack Chick - How to Become Pope Lemon - How to Report Illegal Immigrants Kumquatxop - B.A.B.E.S. (Bay Area Bug Eating Society) Don't walk on the table, Jack. Heat 1 | Heat 3 | Heat 4 | Final Heat

Nutshell Gulag - How to Get Rid of Demons Adam Bozarth - How to Turn the Super Bowl into Super Sex! K. Thor Jensen - How to Pretend to Have Ice Powers (for Girls) Shell Game - How to Escape a Minefield K. Thor drank his own piss. Heat 1 | Heat 2 | Heat 4 | Final Heat

bumpgrrl - r/creepybossta Jimmyfranks - How to Fake Your Own Death Bunnybread - How to Throw a LEGO-themed Party (for Adults) STOG - How to Vomit While Driving Hands above the waist, Bunnybread. Heat 1 | Heat 2 | Heat 3 | Final Heat

Achilles Heelies - Daniel Songer's Comedy Act #191 Kumquatxop - How to Win a Swordfight Shell Game - How to Live in a Dungeon Jimmyfranks - How to Cook Lasagna in the Dishwasher That's the end. Now that you're at the end, you should probably go to motherfucking.best and vote for your favorite readings. Heat 1 | Heat 2 | Heat 3 | Heat 4

The volunteer researchers over at The Wookieepedia have quite a job in front of them: They must catalog absolutely everything that has ever existed in the Star Wars Universe, including (but not limited to) the things that Disney has labeled as canon. This week The F Plus has learned one thing about Twi'lek dancers, and it's wrong.

The Wiki Sticky Site may no longer be with us, but the fetish it catalogued remains with us on the internet. The people who describe themselves as "Stuck In Glue Fetishists" have a specific turn-on that you might have guessed, but it is crucially important that they describe what specific kind of glue is being used in all cases, because this is not a place for fantasy. This week, The F Plus is still stuck in the window.

The frequent posters over at r/WhoWouldWin are looking for hard scientific evidence of what would happen if Popeye got into a knife fight with Johnny Bravo but also if being in a high altitude environment would change the outcome. It's a dumb thing to think about, and therefore there are several hundred thousand words on the subject. This week, The F Plus is horrified to discover that Garfield has killed at least one man.

Over six years ago, Montrith gave us a Fetlife document. So thanks, Montrith. This week, The F Plus is really into Snugglefuxxx.

From the title alone, you may have some incorrect guesses at what's kept the community over at Newart.com thriving since 1996, but quickly you'll learn (as we did) that they're bound by a singular focus of pumping, inflating, and injecting their junk. And then they post pictures. Oh christ, we've seen the pictures. We see them when we close our eyes. This week, The F Plus achieves The Engored Look.

At The F Plus' Suicide Banquet, we're serving the following... Adam Bozarth: Roasted Lettuce, Radicchio, and Endive Achilles' Heelies: Noodle and Coffee Casserole John Toast: Tofu French Toast Portaxx: Mashed Potato Ghosts (video) Frank West: Gamer Sandwiches Squiddy: Amaretto Sour Cherry Popsicles Boots Raingear: Fenelon Poutine Bunnybread: Boob Cake Lemon: Raw Vegan Tom Kha Soup STOG: Parsnip Pancakes Nutshell Gulag: Tuna, Lemon Gelatin, and Pimento Pie Victor Laszlo: Creamy Coconut Spirulina Superfood Smoothie View Photos .button { display:inline-block; border:1px solid currentColor; padding:0.5em 1.5em; } .button:hover, .button:focus { background:#c0282d; color: white; text-decoration:none !important; }

The Redditors on r/NEET self describe as "Not in Education, Employment or Training", and yes that may be a very clumsy acronym, but what they're trying to tell is that they don't work, or go to school, or even do anything like chores. This makes some of them feel special and some of them feel sad, but if they feel sad it's just the fault of women. This week, we start writing some magical realist self help fiction.

While bluelight.org is not the only drugs forum on the internet, it has had about two decades to collect nearly half a million users, many of whom are very excited to share their experiences of the things they've done, thought, and said while on drugs. And most of those things are about trance albums, apparently. This week: Dilute, dilute, dilute! OK, OK, OK?

The people who frequent the unpleasantly named Coiled Fist are gay men with a specific predilection; Either they want much bigger men to be sexually rude to them, or they want to be sexually rude to much smaller men. Oh, also they hate shaving their balls. It's so time consuming! This week, we started out climbing the rope but now we're all into feet.

r/nosleep describes itself as "a subreddit for realistic horror stories." Well, realism is a hard thing to define, and while the stories that live here are mostly poorly spelled rambling essays that strain credulity, they also cause Boots Raingear's internet to drop out for a while!

Originally launched in 2005, Is It Normal? is a website where people can describe their own peculiarities, and the rest of the internet can weigh in on if that is "normal" or not. For our second trip to the site, we're looking specifically at the food-related questions that people have asked the site, and learning very little in the process. This week, The F Plus is in solidarity with that Chili's waiter.

Ulele is a crowdfunding site for self-described makers to get money for projects they may or may not actually follow through with. How does this differ from the several dozen other websites who are doing that exact same thing? Well, first of all Ulule is French. Secondly, shut up. We've got a $300 VPN box and a jockstrap for your straw boater. This week, Boots got a new pillow.

Cardiophiles are motivated by two things: An intense fetish for the functions of the human heart, and the desire to tell the entire internet that they have a fetish for the functions of the human heart. This week, The F Plus wants to sleep on the left side of the bed.

There aren't a whole lot of people who visit the iSoaker family of websites, but you can't deny the passion they have in their hobby. This is an episode of meticulously documenting all the squirt guns to have ever existed, of the life-changing obsession of being super into squirt guns, and about the super cool bad ass things these full grown adults do when they're holding a squirt gun and dressed in a ninja outfit. This week, The F Plus can't decide which soaker for bear.

The Ashtar Command Crew is a global organization on a mission of.... peace, maybe? It's difficult to say. We're not even sure who's on the crew. Okay, we know three things: Ashtar is love, The Paa-Tal are old, and the tall greys are taller than the short greys. Beyond that, it's open to interpretation, which is difficult when some of these beings are in the twelfth dimension. This week, The F Plus is best, the F Plus is blest.

For well over a decade, John James has been committed to a single mission: Disrupting the economics of the global sex industry by innovationg solutions of upcycled aftermarket parts. By that, I mean that John James makes things for him to put his dick inside of and then recommends that you do the same. It's a very squishy episode, and also there's drawings. This week, The F Plus adds bumps to our brainy zildo.

People need a moral arbiter in their lives, and while that's understandable, it's an odd move to trust Reddit to do it for you. And yet, r/AmITheAsshole is there, and it's handling hundreds of conflicts a day. This week, The F Plus gets disgusted by an ugly 8.

A previous subject from nearly a decade ago, the website of Fantasy Feeder is still committed to its cause: Encouraging people to overeat to an absurd degree so that other people can get boners. This week, Zboatzboat!

This week, episode.

With a couple dozen books in the Kindle store at about 300 pages apiece, Morgan Blayde's contributions to the urban fantasy genre could best be described as "relentless". His protagonist has a magical tattoo that helps him straight up murder a hundred guys in hand to hand combat, and I don't need to tell you that the female characters in his books like that very much indeed. Because sometimes you have to fight fire with hellfire, there’s episode 299 of The F Plus: Raised as a demon, armed like a gun merchant, and fueled by booze. Poorly constructed sentences are in this episode and this is that what this episode then does best.

The topic of ASMR first caught a number of peoples' attention as a very strange looking and suddenly popular YouTube goldrush. The idea of whispering, crinkling, and providing a number of close wet sounds is very much tied into the happiness of a certain demographic who we're honestly a little concerned about. This week, The F Plus contemplates the opposite of nails on a chalkboard.

While technical writer Michael Menkin may not be an accredited scientist, he is a man of science. One scientific field interests him in particular, and that's the field of sewing plastic bags to the insides of a leather aviator softcap in order to prevent thought-rays from hostile aliens who want to give you autism. It's a specialized field, but he's written a lot of papers on the subject. This week, The F Plus has been manipulated by the greys to find this funny, but please do not be fooled.

The world can be a scary place, and that's why the folks at BUDK Worldwide are there, day after day, to use that fear as a tool to sell cheap worthless crap to rubes with self esteem problems. We're here for the swords, but there's a lot of categories on offer here and it's easy to get distracted. This week, The F Plus opens the box and BAM THE FREAKING BANKAI SWORD OF ICHIGOS

Sex! Sure, it's a thing that people pretend to enjoy, but when it comes down to it, it turns out very few people seem to like the actual physical act. As in all things, it's up to The Internet to this into a fulfilling experience, and the community over at Blue Moon Roleplaying Forums is really trying their best in this regard. This week, The F Plus can't get a job in Venus City.

Since 2004, the International Conference on Advances in Computer Entertainment Technology (or ACE, confusingly) has tried to explore the forefront of the intersection between humans and computers. But some changes in the steering committee and a surprise keynote speaker set forth a chain of events we simply must explore. This week, The F Plus needs you to refill your smell cannisters before we Kissinger you again.

Some years ago, we covered some of the sex toys on offer at Bad Dragon. But now this is an entirely different thing. We're taking a tour of different places on the internet, all of which want to you to have sex with truly horrifying objects. This week, limited edition F Plus toys are available in chafed anus.

DeviantArt is a strange place with many strange people, chief among them are the titular deviants, who use the site to share and explore their own peculiar sexual predilections. And that prediliction for tonight? Amputee fetishists, and the various ways they attempt to justify their specific interest which totally isn't gross you guys I promise. There's lore! This week, The F Plus learns that we're not very popular in Earmox.

It took us until our seventh F Plus Live to figure out that we could do it somewhere other than Minneapolis, and that we could do it in a theatre! We're so excited about the idea that we start things off with a musical number, before moving right in to reading crap! 2 Wrongs Don't Make A Right (A Christian Puppet Play) Ghost Stores from true-ghost-stories.com I Don't Need That Junk (A Christian Puppet Play) 7 Poems from nwanime.tv Halloween Honesty (A Christian Puppet Play) A question from Quora about Harry Potter and atheism And this is only the first half of the experience: Part 2 is here.

As is tradition, we return from the break drunker than we were when we started, which becomes really obvious in Lemon's failed introductions. But we've got more crap to read, and we're going to read it! In the end, the room shares what they've learned before being visited by a special guest who has an especially smelly message of peace. But first: more poetry! 6 more poems Some questions from r/witchcraft Recycling (a Christian Puppet Play) Latawnya, the Naughty Horse, Learns to Say "No" To Drugs [a message of peace] And that's our seventh F Plus Live in the books, time for the karaoke party. Make sure you come next time!

Some people use drugs as a method of self-discovery. Some people use Reddit as a way to discover things they don't know enough about. What happens when these two things combine? Stupid things, obviously! We're looking at a number of different subreddits, but primarily r/drugs — a place where people who are high can describe exactly how high they are, while other people leave asinine comments that get 300 upvotes. This week, itl think ibecsuse it feel jo and sjd do mand there is no back but thicscsdi i will enterbdu thef shower the aneturies whmait fir ne in there ;

With half a million works in their catalog, the marketplace at the strangely named Smashwords describes itself as “your ebook. your way”. And, as long as “your ebook” is a christian cyberpunk business-minded erotic novalla and “your way” is with rambling paragraphs and keyword-stuffed sentences almost nearly as difficult to follow as this episode description, then you, my friend are in luck. It's all descriptions of ebooks this time around, folks. Settle in. This episode, The F Plus knocks at the door of a woman in an illegitimate manner (and the whole spiritual realm is on alert).

When the users over at Adult Fanfiction Dot Org aren't writing porn, they're thinking of ways to critque the ways that you, personally, write your porn. Fortunately, the site has a forum to service this need. This week, The F Plus finds the Darkwing Duck erotic fanfic.

Let's not complicate matters: There are magickal items for sale on Etsy. This episode involves us reading about those items. We square? Great. Now, enjoy our new game show. This week, The F Plus doesn't give any sharp items to Contestant Number One.

We've previously taught you that being into women's hair is a thing, but it turns out that the cutting of hair is a thing as well. There's a surprising number of sites documenting this fact, and we're looking at several of them, from forums to niche porn to... well, that's really it. This week, The F Plus saves #0000 for when we're nearing orgasm.

So, Cat Examiner submitted a document that was nothing but "Night Before Christmas" style poems. Then, the next day, Jack Chick got drunk and recorded the entire document, top to bottom, by himself.

The website Topix has been around since 2004 and in all that time has yet to figure out a good reason to exist. It's a news aggregator website with specific regional subsections, and that's the part we're focusing on in this episode. Who called the cops on drug dealers in Indiana? Who is fat and talking trash in Western Kentucky? Who cares about any of this nonsense? 2 of those 3 questions will be answered! This week, The F Plus hopes we can figure out when you come in our mouths.

It's kind of weird that a podcast that's existed for as long as ours has, that covers the sort of material that we do, has yet to do a full-on vore episode. Just a primer in case you need it: Vore is the (predominantly furry) preoccupation with one party eating the other. It's separate from cannibalism because there's a size differential and complete disregard for physical reality which tends to make it less gross. That is, until the ambulance shows up. Once the ambulance shows up, it's a whole different thing. This week, The F Plus demands you disregard everything you've ever read.

Bimboland (or BimboLand or Bimbo Land, depending) is a browser game where where players create an avatar and then level up their stats, try on clothes, and date other bimbos. Much more crucially, the Nation of Bimboland has a state called Atheistia, recognizes Christopher Hitchens' birthday as a national holiday, and has a hotly debated election coming up soon. This week, the man has the penis to satisfy the woman. The man has the penis to satisfy the woman. The man has the penis to satisfy the woman.

Milovana.com is the internet's most comprehensive resource for methods of orgasm denial. From instructional videos to concept discussions, to a genre of video game that is entirely baffling, the folks over here are united by a single belief that having an orgasm is a super bad thing to do, and they'll stop it at any costs. This week, The F Plus enters the Edge N' Ride section.

Over time, the sociological constructs of multiplayer video games have bled ever more into the regular lives of sexually active adults. Whether with strangers or known companions, the construct of team dynamics in a pseudoviolent situation become more commonplace and more complex. Which is, of course, very sexy. To that end, this is an episode about r/healsluts, a community of people who extrapolate video game healing into a dom/sub relationship, because of course they do. This week, The F Plus allows you to hump a pillow.

Biohack.me is a place for "grinders". That's a word with many definitions, but to the forum community at biohack.me, a grinder is someone who cuts themsleves in order to stick something in the wound, like a magnet or a USB stick. As you might imagine, this episode is a bit intense, and I think we came close to making one our readers pass out. So just know that going in. This week, The F Plus regrets clicking on the image links.

Of the many Stack Exchange communities out there, the brave souls at the Worldbuilding Stack Exchange are the ones working tirelessly to solve the very dumbest of problems. Got a problem with your fictional alternate reality universe? Logistics you want to work through? Poorly drawn metaphors you want to hammer home with Hard Science? Let's waste our time together. This week, The F Plus asks what is a hat.

If you're looking for a place where old men are chattin' about jackin', you could do a lot worse than JackinChat dot com. These are men who have transcended masturbation as you might know it and recognize it as the only pure form of human expression; an expression best conveyed with sexually explicit emoticons. This week, The F Plus is going for The Full 24 Hours.

You might expect that the people over at KinkyForums are dilettantes with their sexual proclivities, but that would be a mistake. They have found what is, for them, the one perfect fetish: hair. They may disagree on hair length, hair texture, and the most desirable haircuts, but they really like hair. And, as you're about to learn, their love of hair comes at a disservice to you, personally. This week, The F Plus actually was commenting on your beautiful bobs.

The website MyFirstTime.com was launched in 1997 to collect stories of formative sexual experiences from its visitors. Those stories are, on average, outright fabrications written by people whose pornography habits influence their worldview. As you read the actual content of some of the more popular stories posted, you'll recognize that's a good thing. This week, The F Plus will touch your pinacolada with our hands. Whooopee!

For nearly 20 years, the website Urban Dictionary has been providing definitions for words and terms not covered by the Merriam-Webster dictionary. And that statement is true, so you needn't concern yourself with the cromulence of these definitions, or exactly how many fictitious sex acts need to be defined. Because this time we have a game show to play and it doesn't go smoothly. This week, The F Plus tries to figure out the difference between Lil Pump and Lil Peep.

Our world was made a lot smaller with the proliferation of airplanes. Costing hundreds of millions of dollars apiece, an airplane can provide safe and efficient travel over the Atlantic in mere hours. Planes are great! Who wouldn't want to fuck one? This week, The F Plus comes for the plane sex and stays for the Deviantart poetry.

In a complete departure from our usual approach, we spend this episode composing and reading text using Botnik's predictive text generators: the system used to write Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash. We give that a once over, and then play around with our own, including a Nicki Minaj song, Seinfeld beat poetry, and some crossover fic. This episode is a bit o' knickers.

There's a couple hundred thousand members of CandlePowerForums and I don't mind telling you: those folks are really into flashlights. In what is probably our most jargon-filled episode, we're exploring the predilictions of these (exclusively) men who want to share their obsession with their wives and children, who are having none of it. This week, The F Plus is attaching the tube to our tub, and the tub to our tube.

Furoticon is a game similar to Magic: The Gathering, but with two important distinctions: The objective of the game is to get your furry trading cards to have sex with each other and the rules are impossible to figure out. But we're not going to let that slow us down. We're going to read these rules, and if that doesn't make us horny, we'll move onto to the forum roleplay. This week, The F Plus doesn't know what we can do, but you don't have to pay anything if you don't want the final product.

ComicsNix is a somewhat prolific fan fiction author who became a brief point of internet interest after writing a story where Severus Snape has sex with all the Teletubbies. But that's passé now, so we're off to explore his other, more intellectual works — like the one where Batman has sex with Robocop in order to stimulate amnesia, or the complications that arose after Bella Swan summoned Satan to be her personal bodyguard. This week, The F Plus learns vengenge is a dish best served could.

The World Wide Glove Fetish Association (or WWGFA, for those in the know) is a surprisingly popular forum where the predominantly British members discuss the intricacies of their fetish for gloves while a dedicated group of niche pornographers try to exploit them. This week, The F Plus needs to put on a gas mask before fingering you.

“Real Life Superheroes” is a somewhat confusing term, because it describes actual living human beings who wear costumes and write bios in the third person espousing their worldview and then... I mean, well what is “heroism” really? Is signing up for an account on the superhero forums and then getting into a flamewar with a troll account called The White Power a form of heroism? No? Okay then, how about just whatever this is.

Since 1995, GameFAQs has served as a hub for video game walkthroughs and strategies. While this is of little concern to our podcast, the fact that this website also contains a forum where video game enthusiasts can share their thoughts concerns us. Having now read the thoughts they feel are worth sharing, we're simply concerned. This week, The F Plus comes down with a bad case of Frenchman's Leg.

As the previous episode on this subject (#129) can attest to, the people who blog about their weddings on Offbeat Bride are really into nerdy things. And it's okay if you don't believe me on this, because they'll be more than happy to provide evidence. Much more evidence than you could ever possibly need! Do you like it when people reference other things? These people do! This week, The F Plus has a hard time picking a funniest moment, since we are comedy writers.

The Movie Ideas Wiki is (and this is going to come as a surprise) a wiki wherein people write and catalog ideas they have for movies. But (and this may come as an even bigger surprise) the ideas posted on that wiki are crap. So Boots was thinking "Hey, what if we read these crappy ideas out loud, would that be funny?" The answer may shock you! This week, The F Plus gets challenged to a Ponytail-Off.

Food blogging has a conundrum: People like to read and share recipes, but with there only being so many unique varients on "Sausage And Peppers", how can one particular food blog hope to cultivate its audience? Why, with

As the world's third largest retailer, Amazon provides a marketplace with an ever expanding range of products like groceries, fine art, television shows, video game streams, and dildos. Yes of course dildos this is the internet and there's always dildos. In this episode we're looking at those brave netizens who purchased cheap sex toys on Amazon, found the products lacking, and wanted to tell the world about it. This week, The F Plus sniffs our Splooge Juice to see if it's gone bad.

Previous subject notalwaysright.com (which titles itself as "Not Always Right - Funny & True Stores") has sections other than the one where cashiers totally own customers and then everyone applauds afterwards. In this episode, we look at Not Always Romantic, allegedly true and allgedly funny stories about couples being really adorable together. It is absolutely dreadful, so we talk about other things instead. This week, The F Plus has to leave if you say the word "period".

The website Wikiporno is fun to say. In addition to that, it's a Media Wiki site where, as best as we can figure, three guys lovingly catalog all of the pornography they have seen, and they've seen a lot of a pornography! This week, we start principal photography for Butt F Plus.

With a subscribed userbase of 18 million, r/AskReddit works with a simple premise: One person asks a question, other people answer it. And that open-ended concept means means Reddit can do what it's best at: Dim your view of human worth. It is a series of threads posted in by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. This week, The F Plus ignores the court order and visits Fun Grandma again.

The F Plus Live 6 is the biggest and most dangerous F Plus Live in history. After explaining the premise of the show, Lemon starts out handing out documents (or "spells"), and the audience quickly learns there's going to be a lot to wrap your head around. Bunnybread: A Story of Dirt Eating from Experience Project Achilles' Heelies: A selection of poetry from Authors Den STOG: THE P(H)ANTOM! Jack Chick: some spells and magic from Spells And Magic Boots Raingear: Reiki Healing Increases Sex Power & Orgasm This is part 1. Part 2 is here.

Lemon receives a phone call from his supervisor and the plan changes. More readers! We need more readers! Ironicus & Cheapskate: wikiHow (The Good vs Evil Edition) Lou Fernandez: A religious tretise on Satan and Hell by High Priestess Maxine Dietrich Kumquatxop: Blow Up The Moon (one of several usenet essays by Alexander Abian about the moon and the blowing thereup) Jimmyfranks: Human Furniture (an erotic tale on Pixies Place by Mojoel) bumpgrrl: The organized crime (which is) against men (married or/& unmarried) & marriage that which is known as feminism is legalized criminality or/and mental disorder. This is part 2. Part 3 is here.

For the last segment of F Plus Live 6, we consult a supercomputer and our nearest available Frank West to learn that we have not yet collected enough magicks to summon Satan. And so, we take drastic measures. Lemon & The Audience: badfic snippets J W Friedman: Read how Katy Perry's video Firework is witchcraft and how the spell is cast Adam Bozarth: The Yahoo Answers of Spanky Gazpacho Frank West: Shelia Thong Sandal Goddess by mrstanley Lemon's reading (provided by Lady Frenzy) was cut for time and then performed the next day at the karaoke afterparty. Here is a video of that.

The members of The Burp Fetish Forums share one particular prediliction which is (and this may surprise you) they all have a burp fetish. How does this fetish manifest itself, you ask? Do they like women burping or men burping? Burping in public places or burping in private areas? Slow romantic burping or torrid non-con burping? The answer to all of this is yes. They really like burping! This week, The F Plus shall not escape The Pleasure Zone.

Hello, podcast listener! This is an episode about making food with bodily fluids. If you're familiar with what we do, you're probably going to like this episode a lot. If you've never heard this show before, this isn't the one to start with. Maybe try a wikiHow episode instead? This week, we're sending back this Galliano shot.

The creators and visionaries over at The Game Crafter have some innovative new board and card games to sell you, and they're not hampered by such trivialities as marketability, distribution, is this game any good, and am I a cretin with an axe to grind about feminism and letting that motivate every aspect about myself. Yeah, it's those kind of games. This week, Joey likes.

This episode on The Wizard Forums can best be described with this opening note from the document: Order within each section is approximately “least likely to be a serial killer” to “most likely to be a serial killer.”

The financial domination subculture is one centered around the act of one person giving money to another personfor reasons which must be self evident. We're looking at the thoughts and habits of both the findoms and the paypigs, and the troubles they have getting along with each other. This week, The F Plus can't reach the end of Josh's Amazon wishlist.

There's a fella on the internet by the name of saganfan1983 who has a lot of opinions to share about the issues that affect us all, like what breasts should look like or if it's okay to eat that one fish from The Phantom Menace. Oh! Also he built a spaceship. It totally works. This week, The F Plus only appears to kill a panda.

The premise of the Millenial-focused superblog Thought Catalog can be neatly summarized in its slogan All thinking is relevant. This is infuriating by itself, and not helped by the dozen or so incredibly prolific bloggers who pose the challenge "All thinking is relevant, even... this!?" This episode, The F Plus were merely freshmen.

The proprietors of online crystal shop EnergyMuse.com inform us that “almost ever [sic] ancient civilization has utilized Earth energy—in the form of crystals and gems—in some way.” And if you think that statement is suspect, let me ask you - do you really understand what that means? I'm pretty sure nobody does. This week, The F Plus isn't sure who stole that joke from whom.

The stated mission statement of Corporate Office & Headquarters is to provide visitors with customer service contact information for a variety of different corporations. However, the site allows comments, so the actual mission is that. This week, The F Plus doesn't want the update, Doug.

If you visit RantRampage.com, you'll find that the middle 390 pixels are filled with thousands of grievances filed by anonymous people on every available subject. That's followed by dozens of comments by more anonymous people who are wholly disinterested in having a productive conversation, but they sure do have a lot of things they hate. This week, keep dreaming Lesbian Losers!

There's a lot of peculiar naming conventions in unusual internet fetishes, which makes the Wet And Messy fetishists very appreciated. They like it when people are wet and messy! And they have many many many words to prove it. They also have a whole lot of pictures to prove it, but we needn't concern ourselves with that. This week, The F Plus learns something about Southern Hospitality.

The Passions Network presents a unique value proposition: What if, instead of making one dating website, we create literally hundreds of unique (in name, but largely identical) websites, in the hopes of luring in customers with a whole bunch of super-specific niches? What would happen if we did that? The answer, it turns out, is an F Plus episode. This week, try to find who loves to suck guys. Yam!

There's a lot of enthusiastic wrestling fans in the world, and some of them dream of one day becoming professional wrestlers in their own right. In the real world that would take a lot of diligence, luck, and willingness to adopt a lifelong addiction to painkillers - but this is the internet: a place for dreamers. Enter eWrestling Encyclopedia. It's a place where ideas are more important than physical spectacle, and those ideas are things like "Another wrestler that already exists except he has my name instead of his own name". Thought provoking stuff. This week, The F Plus loves it when rappers make albums.

Personal relationships can be difficult to manage, and there are times when people look for advice from the people closest to them. This is all well and good, but what happens when your closest friends are the anonymous chowderheads on Reddit? Well, in that case things get complicated. This week, The F Plus gives Heather some erasers.

Cartridge Lit invites visitors to share video-game inspired poetry and prose, and a number of people have taken them up on that invitation, bringing their credentials with them. And so, what we have in this episode is a straight hour of reading meticulously written video game literature, and if it hurts you half as much as it hurt us, you're gonna need some Percocet before you hit play. This week, she's not breathing.

This year, IMDb made the decision to dismantle its own message boards, saying that they didn't provide enough value to the site. This of course piqued our interest and we went to see what kind of conversations could be found there. As it turns out: It was exactly the kind of conversations we'd expect to find there. This week, The F Plus meets some like-minded Burgerheads.

If you are a regular listener to the podcast, you are probably aware of communities who self-identify as superhuman or supernatural creatures. You are also probably aware that these communities often have inconsistent and arbitrary criteria to support their claims. This is more of that, but with draculas. Have you ever dreamt of drinking blood? Can you be killed by a wooden stake through the heart or decapitation? Do you have a tan Do you say ‘BLAH’? You MIGHT be a vampire! This episode, the F Plus gets a full-ride scholarship to Vamper college.

Real Super Powers is a site for the documentation of real, actual, legitimate, bona fide, undeniable, serious, authentic, honest, indubitable, factional, non-fictional, unaffected, veritable, perceptible, irrefutable, sincere, honest, no really I promise super powers in human beings. From there, I mean... the episode pretty much writes itself. 1This 1week, 1The 1F 1Plus 1doesn't 1have 1a 1girlfriend.

As vaporizers became more popular in recent years, the internet did what it does: turn an uninteresting pastime into a cultural signifier with its own jargon and infighting. And so were born "Cloud Chasers"; the men who risk friendships, wages, and their own personal safety in a never ending quest to exhale glycerine vapor in a cloud larger than someone else's. Actually, when you type it out it makes a whole lot of sense. This week, The F Plus puts a finger in Missy's Wet Box.

Drugs Forum is (and this may surprise you) a forum where people talk about using drugs. That is, hundreds of thousands of people, over millions of threads, gathering to discuss the drugs they're doing, have recently done, or wish to do in the very near future. It's a vibrant community which, after many years, finally figured out the best way to go rollerblading. This week, The F Plus is your salvia...vation. (edit point)

The Satanic International Network (or SIN, hyuk hyuk) bills itself as "the most popular social networking site for Satanists". While I'm not really sure how many sites they beat out for that title, what we have here is a site where various flavors of Satanist can share their feelings on religion, magick, trans rights and the New World Order and none of it will be elucidating. This week, imagine standing on the beach when 800,000 F Plus listeners walk by you.

Back in 2014, we did an episode on a website called F-List, which is a site where furry perverts can share their fetishes in hopes of finding a match with similar bizarre turn-ons. But only recently did we come to find out that the site has forums, where said perverts can share opinions, which are mostly about jism. Of course, we still consulted the fetish matrix because we know how to entertain ourselves. This week, The F Plus is also turned off by World of Warcraft.

There's a lot of justifiable reasons for a modern human to be angry, but the mostly anonymous users of PissedConsumer.com haven't stumbled on any of them. Instead, this is a site about screaming into an aching void of your own customer service indignities, real or imaginary. This week, the women of The F Plus have some opinions, but the men are usually nice and pleasant.

While Grindr may have revolutionized the way people have anonymous gay sex, Craigslist is still a useful repository for people looking for gross furniture, seedy "modeling" jobs and unpaid gigs for exposure. But in addition to all that, they apparently have forums for some reason. In this episode, we're looking specifically at the Ettiquite forums of craigslist, to learn how we can all be better mannered participants in the human race, mainly by gaslighting our husbands. This week, The F Plus popped your pussy and toggled your tits.

California rich guy and man who has opinions Rob Rhinehart invented Soylent as an open source replacement to the unbearable agony of preparing and eating food. And since its inception in 2013, Soylent has given the gift of uncontrollable butt problems to an audience of Reddit-posting free thinkers. This week, The F Plus dips our Twennybar in our Schmilk. CORRECTION: Rosa Labs is headquartered in Los Angeles, not San Francisco.

This episode is about HubPages.com (don't forget the asshole).

Of the many dubious question and answer websites that The F Plus has covered so far, Question.com is certainly one of them. This week, we're visiting The Rude Boy Planet.

Near as we can tell, the website Girls Ask Guys exists for two reasons: To provide women with insight on the innermost thoughts that drive the actions of men, and to surprise you with autoplay music and ads. Near as well can tell, the website Girls Ask Guys succeeds at one of those two things. This week, The F Plus has no patience for your dumb smart people games.

According to the Washington Post, roughly 2 million people a year take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. And according to A Number I Just Made Up, 66% of those were administered by people who work in corporate HR departments, habitually doing the voice of the boss from Office Space, like she's making fun of that mentality, except she's actually saying the thing she's pretending she's mocking and it's not funny, Linda. Anyway, by having you answer a series of questions, the Myers-Briggs Quiz has been studiously designed, researched and reported to most accurately tell you which character from the Harry Potter Universe you are. And of those, the people who scored INTJ (or Severus Snape) seem to be the most excited about their results. So, here we go to Reddit to read INTJs bragging about themselves and complaining about everything else. This week, The F Plus Gangbang isn't that serious.

Finland's plot is unleashed! In the fifth F Plus Live show (The Finnish Incident), each reader will approach the stage to be met by Montrith's courier, who will give them material they have never seen before and must read right then and there. The results are dramatic. This episode is divided up into three segments with three readers apiece. The audio presented here is the full live show itself, we also have a YouTube playlist with all the performances and interstitial segments, plus one bonus piece. This is part one of three. We start out with STOG skipping a whole bunch of pages while he scrolls through his inventory list, and then Frank West explores a fetish that he thinks he understands by the end. Rounding out the first part is bumpgrrl who has both religious and dietary advice. A huge thank you to Mique for handling the filming of this chaotic event, as well as the editing of the video afterwards. All of the video in this show was made possible by him.

The agony continues! With F Plus Live undaunted by Montrith's first selections, she reaches for incompehensible dialect, hardcore dorkporn, and selections of poetry. Did we mention the nuclear tipped Angry Birds? I'm pretty sure we've mentioned the Angry Birds. This is part two of three. Jack Chick's reading contains some very questionable dialogue and Kumquatxop's reading contains questionable everything. Boots Raingear gives a variety of pieces from a single author, and Bunnybread's ad is only in the video version.

The explosive finale! Montrith turns the screws on the audience, but they prove resiliant. This is part three of three. And we start it out with Lemon and a piece of music journalism with a bunch of lyrics in it. After that, Achilles' Heelies learns a lot about not giving up on love. And the closer for the evening is the good sir Jimmyfranks who gives the assembled audience some practical romantic advice they can use later on that night. Four hours of content in both audio and video form, and we are delighted by the results. We hope you're happy too. See you next time.

The Sonic the Hedgehog franchise has a fanbase that frequently creates their own "original characters" with all of the care, originality and effort that went into the characters they're emulating (which is a compliment to nobody). At the Sonic Fan Character wiki, we're going to read about them, because the world needs to know about Sonic the Hedgehog's cousin, Jack. This week, it can be!

The men of HoopFetish.com are sexually excited by hoop earrings. And it's okay if you don't trust me on this, because they've written a number of words themselves to support this claim. We're going to be taking a look at the men in this community, and perhaps learn a little bit about the exasperated women that couple with them. This is the beauty and colors of life for women and men, for both sexes.

Our brand new intern is in the mix while Lemon forgets which setting his microphone is supposed to be on and we explore the science behind The Concave Earth Theory! Popularized by Steven Christ, The Concave Earth theory states that [onomatopoeia where you stick your pointer finger between your lips and move it up and down while going "bwee bwee bwee bwee"], and it's got forums, so we're set. This week, GMan just won't stop lying about pushups.

Nation States is a game where players can create their own idealized version of a country, ally with other nations in the game, pass resolutions, and vie for supremacy. Separate from that, the forums of Nation States is a place where people post in character as emissaries from their fictitious countries to brag about their totalitarian regime and brag about which memes are the dankest. The results are infurating. This week, you still like Huswyae, right?

Our modern internet affords lots of opportunities for self-expression. However, these things remain ephemeral, and some authors long for the physicality of the written word. Fortunately for them, there's America Star Books (formerly PublishAmerica), a self-publishing book company that's innovated the publishing world by removing all those annoying standards of quality. We're looking at a number of descriptions of these books, in the authors' own words (when those words aren't "description coming soon"). This week, you can have a free consultation with a werewolf, but I don't imagine it'll be helpful.

Launched in 1999, eHow is a content farm built to give advice on how to perform crucial tasks and it is, crucially, not wikiHow. It's still very much F Plus worthy though, as you can see from articles like "How to Give a Milk Enema", "How To Text A Girl Without Being Creepy", and "How To Kick A Cocaine Habit At Home By Yourself". This week, The F Plus reads an entirely new category of poetry.

The internet is an exciting global landscape under constant dynamic upheaval. I have no idea what any of that means, but we're talking about tech startups here, so it doesn't really matter. We're looking at a site called IdeasWatch where people can pitch their ideas for an interesting app or innovation and then... well, nothing. It's ignored forever. This week, Lemon's still figuring out how to use his new microphone (sorry).

It's been too long since our last musical episode, but this one is worth the wait. We gathered together some of The F Plus' greatest hip-hop enthusiasts (and also Boots) to browse the internet's finest sources for hip hop lyrics; I'm talking about DeviantArt, WikiHow, Yahoo Answers, and some site from Colombia. The result will make you kill a rainbow. This week, The F Plus lost their minds. Eight times!

Do you understand homeopathy? We don't. So we brought The Internet's own K. Thor Jensen along as we took a good long browse through the forums of ABC Homeopathy. We still don't understand homeopathy, but now we know that a lot of the men who are into it have small, thin penises which don't work very well. This week, Jimmyfranks doesn't count.

With an estimated 2.4 million visits per hour, PornHub is one of the most popular websites on The Internet. In serving up petabytes of data to a huge customer base who are, by design, short term participants you might think that these participants would prefer to be anonymous. As an F Plus listener, you are probably also aware that there's a certain category of people who have a lot of opinions about the pornography they consume. To that end, this is PornHub Feedback: A place for people to argue about how their fetishes should be treated, Britain's role in the EU, and shadowy conspiracies that present you with niche porn that match your thought processes. This week, listen to F Plus Premium for only 40 million sexcoins.

The Internet is frequently looking to expand the scope of human knowledge, and My Masturbation is a site doing that in a unique way. Offering hundreds of unique masturbation suggestions for both men and women, reading this site turned out to be way grosser than any of us were prepared for. In fact, this very nearly didn't end up getting released as an episode at all, until the raw files were dumped onto ballp.it and Djeser saved it from oblivion. This week, Nutshell's neighbors can hear us.

As we've demonstrated so far, human sexuality is a complicated and frequently confusing morass. And to that end, we present to you: The men of GirlPits. They like the armpits of girls. A lot. And now it's time for you to hear about it. This week, body odor gets a theme song.

With over 28 million members and 13 years of history, Gaia Online could accurately be called one of the most popular forums on the internet. It's central feature is a gamification effort where members can dress up their paper-doll avatars with bits and baubles while they discuss their favorite animes or (in the case of this episode) the troubles with feminism and the right way to sell your panties online. This week, I'm nawt sure wut slip'n'slope wuz supposed ta b dere wen child touchin' hath been Mohammad-san's way o' lyfe 4 over a millenia.

In the past, The F Plus has provided listeners with all sorts of inventions that the internet has come up with and wants to sell to the general public. And, well, let's not complicate matters. We're doing that again. Lest you fear repetition, have you heard about the iPhone app that eliminates child negligence, a fitness regimen based on lifting women, or a sporting event played by ghosts? Because you're about to. This episode is copyright Chug Nug.

The internet is frequently a place where people brag about their talents in a particular skill, and if that skill is stealing things from stores, well that's just fine. We're looking at the people who steal, proudly, and they have things to say. Some of those things are coherant. This week, The F Plus gets some bonus tips on how to be a Sugar Baby.

Victor is feeling a little under the weather, and it just so happens that Quantum Man offers "The World's First Downloadable Medicine". In keeping with the spirit of alternative medecine served over the internet, Quantum Man is a gaudy site that promises to cure influenza, malaria, meth addiction, constipation, food allergies, insomnia, erectile dysfunction, and not having your prostate stimulated. And in addition to all that, the product can perform the ever-popular "cleansing your body of toxins", all for the cost of many installments of another cost. But how does it work? Computers are involved. Beyond that: Shut up. The F Plus is supercharging our prostates.

It's a confluence of technologies and interests that brought us to this point, but we're here. With a number of viable VR options released to the market, we find ourselves taking our first clumsy steps towards fully realized, three dimensional, immersive, interconnected, user created worlds. And the subjects of this episode have gathered together and announced clearly and in one voice: "I want to jizz all over that!" This week, The F Plus witnesses the birth of a brand new fetish.

NoFap is a community, fortified by Reddit, where men (and hypothetically women, but always men) can discuss how they've reached their full physical and intellectual potential since they've stopped masturbating. And the results are self-evident when you read the one act plays where parts of their brain argue with their penis. It's a community of tense individuals, and we're gonna figure out why. This week, Frank West tests his Progressive Death Mettle.

A self-published author has a difficult job to do when it comes to promotion. They've got to follow sales, trends, promotions, press, design, and beyond all that, they go on Good Reads and yell at people who didn't like their book. Well, maybe they shouldn't do that last part, but the subjects of today's episode do that anyway. We're looking at authors who, around the internet, show up to berate, insult, and argue with people who say unfavorable things about a book they've written. It's kind of like the Correct The Record PAC, except without the funding. This week, listeners will say wonderful things about this episode (and they already are), but who in the world are you?

In late 2013, we focused on a particular man who calls himself The Dozerfleet Founder; a person who has written over a thousand pages of wiki devoted to himself, and the projects he would like you to give him credit for. We felt our work was pretty exhaustive on the subject, but we're aware there's plenty we missed. In this episode, we spend some time looking at the song parodies The Dozerfleet Founder has written, some television projects we weren't aware of, and finally end up on TV Tropes because of course. This week, The F Plus karaoke sequence is malfunctioning.

For decades, David Icke has been speaking loudly and publicly about his hypothesis that Reptoids (that is, beings who appear human but who are actually decendents of the Lizard People who live in the center of the Earth) walk among us and are plotting to enslave humanity. And of course, that's interesting and all, but we're going to be looking at the forums of the David Icke website to read the opinions of the people who took this theory and ran with it. This week, The F Plus better not be looking at pictures of human feet.

Working in retail can be a stressful and thankless experience, but as in all things, the internet is there to help. NotAlwaysRight is a place where visitors can share their stories of totally pwning the customers they had to deal with and how impressed everyone was with that experience. This week, The F Plus wonders "God, what is this madness?" PS: Lemon apologizes in advance for confusing Kevin McCarthy with Mark McKinney. It's eating him up inside.

Founded in 2001, clips4sale.com has served as an open-air fetish bazaar catering to all sorts of hyperspecific sexual interests of the people who are willing to pay a premium. We try to prepare ourselves, but nothing could prepare us for these animated GIFs. This week, The F Plus reacts to visual things. And you would too, buddy.

Sooooo..... Fleshlight has forums. Did you know this? We didn't know this. Spooks found out about it and now that's what we're reading. As it turns out, this is a surprisingly active forum with a community of members who discuss the finer details of the plastic sleeve that they masturbate into. With that comes some of the standard themes you'd expect, like Harry Potter and gay panic. This week, The F Plus gets it on while Jimmyfranks is jammin' on his bass guitar.

There's a number of websites out there that can try to teach you some certain type of magic spell, or some certain type of mind control technique, but the superpredators over at Xtreme Mind take a shotgun approach to their methods, selling Neurolinguistic programming, mind power machines, magical wish fulfillment, orgone boxes, and pretty much anything else that they think will get clicked on. This week, The F Plus is posing magestically in front of red backgrounds.

The Experience Project is a site where members can share their own life experiences. And then, because this is the internet, those very same members can argue with each other about who is the worst human being alive and then overshare their own fetishes. This week, The F Plus starts our own jam band.

Lemon recently visited Portland. He met up with his friends Jack Chick and Nutshell Gulag to explore the city's restaurants, shops and bars. When the day was over and the group had plenty of liquor in them, he decided to test their friendship by making them all read stories from a site called Booksie. Booksie is the premier platform for unpublished authors who are interested in publishing things where nobody is willing to see them. Then Jack Chick made a batch of whiskeynanners (from episode 204) and made us all eat some. This week, The F Plus stops you with a tree.

The Transformation Story Archive is a very old website where participants share stories about turning into different things: bears, statues, the other sex, and concepts too horrible to read out loud. As a result, this episode is shorter than most. But if you've been looking forward to an episode in which Bunnybread says "crotch" then you are in luck. This week, The F Plus mostly just mushes our breasts together.

We've focused on a lot of people with varying mental disorders, so it's time to talk a little bit about mental health. Andy Kadir-Buxton is an unlicensed medical practioner who, in addition to a number of other profound and confusing accomplishments, has invented a cure for "a wide variety of mental health problems". In addition to learning about the Kadir-Buxton Method, we'll also be discussing a number of Andy's other discoveries, his contributions to the British Space Administration, and his petition supporters. This week, The F Plus has an orgasmic nose.

Hoping to make some better decisions in his life, Lemon's been taking some time self examining his smoking habit. Then he reached out to his friend Montrith to see if she had any related reading material which would speak to cigarette smoking's effect on the body and mind. Then Lemon was reminded that Montrith knows only agony. To that end, we take a long journey through Smoking Feels Good, and then close on Liberty Van. Then all that's left is for Lemon to edit a episode where the words "smoking" and "cigarettes" are uttered a couple hundred times. This week, The F Plus needs a domain name for their new yellow denture business.

Life can be frustrating at times. To that end, there are sites on the internet where people can go and type the subjects of their anger into a form for others to read. These screeds can be on any subject, and restrictions of logic, spelling or grammar do not apply. Also, posting a screed usually means you get involved in flamewars with the other users of this website. And while none of this is helpful for the people involved in posting on the website, the results can be read aloud and help you feel better about yourself. This week, don't smash your keyboard. A portal might open up.

For the second half of our restrospective, we've got a lot of topics we need to cover, including how Victor Laszlo deals with depression and what STOG does in an elevator. Those important matters discussed, we touch on the visibility of women on the internet, how The F Plus met Left Handed Radio, and jokes so bad that they need to be augmented with crickets. The ridiculists then share a few stories about dealing with exhibits in real life, some favorite (and regrettable) moments from the podcast, and a bit of our plans for the future. All this, plus some clips that will delight and/or enrage, depending on how your day is going. Enjoy!

For our 200th episode, The F Plus is looking at a very strange group of people called The F Plus. This is part one of our retrospective episode, and seven of us are going to discuss the series of events that caused us to all know each other, start recording podcasts, and the absolutely terrifying act of meeting each other in person. Plus, we're going to be looking back on those moments that stuck with us, such as the Baby Drug Pusher, Boy Meat, and wanting to kill yourself because of your huge head. It's been quite a journey for all of us and now, perhaps, we've earned a couple of hours to reflect.

For a number of years, and across several different forms of media, Alex Jones has been preaching his own brand of “The Truth” and has built a following doing so. Jones has an agenda to push, but more than that, Jones also has a whole bunch of crap to sell you. That's what we're focusing on here; a whole episode dedicated only to the products sold through InfoWars, including DVDs, shirts and nutritional supplements. We recorded this episode at the exact same time that an armed militia began their occupation of Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon. Coincidence!? Yes!

This episode comes to you from 600 episodes in the future! In that time, there are people who go to a poorly designed forum and say completely improbable things about themselves and how they got here, and these improbable things go completely unchallenged by the other posters on the forum. More importantly, they share schematics of how you can build your very own time machine. This week, The F Plus develops really negative opinions about Einstein.

Fitness is important. I just typed that onto a keyboard after waking up with a hangover, smoking a cigarette, and then sitting in a chair staring at my computer screens for a couple hours. Sorry, what I was I talking about? So this is a bodybuilding episode. It's pretty funny, but I'm having a lot of trouble writing an episode summary for it, so I'm just gonna type into this box for a little while and then just publish the episode like this. This week, no homo.

It's been years since our last full journey to Yahoo! Answers, and it's actually kind of comforting to see how little the site has changed. From topics ranging from Race Relations in America to Anime Appreciation, as well as the ever popular "Hey, how do you spell the word pregnant?", Yahoo! Answers has always been a very reliable source of baffling and unintentionally hilarious questions from across the Internet. As long as there's a question, someone will have an answer, and sometimes that answer will just raise further questions. This week on The F Plus, Lemon just can't read the word "fights" for some reason.

There's a lot of recipe websites out there, and a lot of websites owned by giant food conglomerates. Fortunately, the internet has a way of synergizing things and these corporations provide their very own websites which encourage people to cook with their products. Looking for a salad recommendation from SPAM? A cocktail recipe by Hormel? A filling desert that includes a large quantity of Velveeta? This is vertical integration at its finest. This week, The F Plus is cooking pad see ew with Raisin Bran.

Urth looks and plays like the world's shittiest video game. The creators insist that Urth is not a game (which is why they call it Urth the Game), but a path to prosperity, a tool for resurrecting the dead, a meditation conduit to alleviate your fears, and a method for winning the lottery - not for the money, just, you know, to prove you can. But video game or not, you're still moving a man in a labyrinth to min-max your Spirituality. This week, The F Plus is droppin' payloadz all over the place.

No matter who you are, Reddit has something for everyone. A few examples include: complaining about women, complaining about video games, complaining about women playing video games, or (to our collective delight) sharing your terrible drawings of dragons. "But what about me?" asks the person who wants legal advice. "Where can I go to seek legal advice over... say... me being fined $2,500 by the man for thoughtcrime?" Welcome to r/legaladvice, weary traveler! Why not order a flagon of ale and share your embarrassing and impending legal doom? This week, we're having a sale on Oxy Cotton!

Fanfiction is a complicated artistic endeavor. To connect with an audience, a writer needs to exploit a subject that resonates with an audience, and then serve concept, dialogue and action which the audience would find pleasing. Or, if you're the people behind imaginensfwoah, you skip all of that completely. The characters are non-specific, the setting is non-specific, but the action taking place is 100% disgusting. This is very much one of the grosser F Plus episodes, just prepare yourself for that. This week, The F Plus is creeped out by that fifth dentist.

Okay, we've spent a couple episodes highlighting the brilliance of people who consider themselves "idea people", but now it's time to spend some time thinking about the other end of the supply chain. Idea Connection is a website that caters to customers who are looking for a terrific idea that they can purchase from the website, along with any relevant patents for this idea. There's only one small problem to this: These customers do not exist because these ideas are really stupid. This week, The F Plus is getting verbally abusive with our GPS devices.

Part two goes to different places as we invite the lads from I Don't Even Own A Television to read what they've found. Also, while Adam Bozarth and Nutshell Gulag couldn't make it to the live show, they were kind enough to put together video packages in their stead. Lastly, there's a scene for a detective show (?) and STOG plays a dog. This one has a two remote segments that only exist in the YouTube playlist. Part Two Contains Nutshell Gulag cooks something (video only) Adam Bozarth I Want To Be Banksy (video only) bumpgrrl I Just Walk Away by MadHat886 Chris Collision The Worst Days: Part One by Jared E. Smith J W Friedman Enter the Wutang Clan by MrVoltz The Not Ready For YouTube Players: My Dark Dreams by Tony Clementz

This is the audio for F Plus Live, part 1. All of these recordings are also available on video, thanks to Mique. We've put together an F Plus Live 4 playlist right here. We'll confess up front that the audio is... well, it's as good as it is. Lemon spent many hours trying to clean up the sounds, and believes it's good enough. But the content is what matters. The audio and video were each cut differently, each contain stuff the other doesn't. Part One Contains Frank West: Bipartisanship by Roscavenbar STOG: Sonic the Hedgehog: World War 2 Dragon by DarkDoomFireMaster Jack Chick: Vampires, Werewolves and Sparrow OH MY! by Kameya Sparrow The Not Ready For YouTube Players: Friday the 13th Part 11 Jason Vorhees by Jason Seamone

Part Three of F Plus Live 4 is brought to you by Wow, That's Almost The 90's Part Three Contains Bunnybread: about four minutes of ad copy (audio only) Adam Bozarth: Masturbate Night In America and A Girl (video only) Boots Raingear: The Defenestration of Cornelius Fudge by Qoheleth Lemon Butter Me Up by Pandanarchy Kumquatxop Harry Potter and the Horcrux of the Future by selenepotter Chris Collision & STOG: The Sky Is Falling! by E. B. McMillan

Have you ever been out in the middle of nowhere, probably camping or playing golf, and then realizing you really, really need to pee? Have you ever entertained the idea of being the secret MacGuyver of peeing, using a machine to discreetly empty your bladder while chatting with company? No? Okay, well, have you ever spent late nights on the Internet, looking for synthetic pee to go with your 'peeing robot' costume for Halloween? Not that either? Um... okay. Well, congratulations! Here's an episode about urine and urine accessories. This week, The F Plus has a few thousand photos to look at.

Life is a scary and emotionally draining thing. So it's understandable that we deal with stress, loneliness and fear by using various coping mechanisms. We drink, we smoke, we have casual sex, and sometimes, we suck our thumbs. Nothing about this is terribly weird or shocking, right? Well, how about you spend an hour listening to internet spew about thumbsucking and see how you feel afterwards? This week, The F Plus pays very close attention to what thumb Cathy is sucking on.

It's time for some spooky ghost stories! The website my-paranormal-experience.com is one man's mission to document other people's experiences with ghosts, psychics and other paranormal hullabaloo. This is all presented as fact, because why wouldn't it be? Learn about supernatural experiences that are completely unexplainable by any scientific rationale, like Netflix getting turned off or someone being angry. This week, The F Plus is... Steve? PS: Chris Collision apologizes in advance for his audio. He'll sound better at F Plus Live: A Two Day Event!

We've asked a lot of questions on this podcast, but often the answers have not been satisfactory. I'm sure that's a trend that's going to change as we visit Quora: A top-ranked question & answer aggregator with a billion dollar valuation and the slogan "The best answers to any question". So we're all feeling super confident we'll get the best answers to questions like "Can Plants Fart?", "Why Aren't There Dinosaur Ghosts?" and of course the perennial favorite "How Can I Increase My Sex Power?" This week, The F Plus is being very progressive with our fetishes.

This episode is going to be huge! And other such puns about size, because for this episode we're looking at the confusing world of giantesses and shrunken men; These are people for whom the height of sexuality is found when two bodies are completely sexually incompatible with each other. This week, The F Plus opens our own fetish consultancy firm.

The magick is still around us! For this episode, we're returning to SpellsOfMagic.com to learn some more terrific spells, most of which are very seductive in nature! This week, The F Plus learns the difference between the C String and the V String.

"Why not?" is the kind of question that carries with it a lot of connotations of poor thought processes, but in the case of this episode (recorded a while ago), "Why Not?" is the name of an idea dumpsite started by two Yale professors until they found something else to spend time on. The format should be somewhat familiar: People present unworkable solutions to problems nobody has, and then other people... do nothing at all. This week, beware of the joke locusts.

We've teased it out a couple of times, but now it's finally time to figure out what this watch fetish document is all about, although I cannot say that anyone is going to come out of the episode having had all their questions answered. But regardless, we're gonna be spending time on Watch Girls Forum; where people are very specific about their particular kink, plus I suspect it's British as well. This week, make sure you wear your watch on the right wrist.

This time it's all poetry all episode! Specifically, erotic poetry. More specifically, "erotic" "poetry", because the things we're reading largely fail to meet the definitions of either of those words. This episode... eyyyyych! There's more. (additional material provided by Eye of Za and Montrith)

The human mind is a very confusing and (in some cases) profoundly stupid thing. And for the merchants and community of WarpMyMind.com, that can only mean one thing: opportunity! The purpose of this website is that some users will post hypnotic "curses" which cause the listener to do things many would find undesirable, such as a shift in sexual orientation or an inconvenient orgasm. Then, even more bafflingly, other users show up to purchase these curses and then kvetch on the forums about how terrible their life is now that they're cursed. This week, we find out what the F+ British Accent sounds like when it's a dog.

What a wonderful time it must be if you're the owner of a crowd funding website! Presenting one such example, GoFundMe is a crowdfunding site where people can raise money for a cause without being hampered by constraints like minimums or timelines. Is this a good model for persons deserving of help and/or charity? Emphatically yes. However, as you might expect, none of the people covered in this episode are terrific examples of this. This week, The F Plus is starting an anti-cowboy rodeo church.

There have been some recent controversies surrounding reddit, where just because of the actions of a few hundred thousand bad apples, the future of the website and of the fracturing social network is in question. But we at The F Plus are looking at the kind of thing the world would be missing out on if Reddit were to disappear today. To that end, we're reading the fetish prompts at r/dirtypenpals, to find the profiles of some netizens who are looking for love even though they are unlovable. This week, The F Plus is offering free drink refills and bottomless polka.

Okay, I think it's high time for another food episode! This time around, A Meat and Montrith have provided us with a splendid menu of undercooked and shouldn't-be-cooked dishes, from appetizers all the way to desserts (with a special stop for Jello salads). What we might be lacking in mayonnaise we're more than making up for in Cool Whip and a miscegenation of pre-shredded cheeses. This week, The F Plus does market research into the cultural appeal of ghost poop.

Body issues are a factor in just about everyone's life, but for a lot of men (and some women) the singular issue of penis size is an obsession which usurps just about everything else. The members of the Large Penis Support Group (or LPSG) are bonded by this preoccupation, and large penises, as an abstract concept, begin to shape their worldview. Meanwhile, for our part, we made fewer cheap jokes than you'd expect. This week, The F Plus is going to destroy your toilet paper rolls. Editor's note: Between the recording of this episode and the time it was released, the Large Penis Support Group forum had a massive structural overhaul. Congratulations, guys.

So have you had enough WikiHow episodes at this point? Of course you haven't. You are a human being with a capacity for joy and wonder. And there's a bunch of people who weren't in the other WikiHow episode who were jealous.

Boots gets more WikiHow for his birthday.

Does any modern society appreciate poetry more than the creative types over at Tumblr? Yes, of course. But would any other modern society be so quick to ape the creative output of Sylvia Plath in order to eke out some undeserved attention? Maybe, but for the purposes of this episode summary let's just pretend the answer is no. In this episode, we have a very, very specific rule; We are only reading pieces on Tumblr that have been tagged #SylviaPlath. The results will surprise you, but only a little bit. This week, the F Plus reinvents apple sauce?

So many video games are all about violence, where's the games with the sex in them? Well, it shouldn't surprise you to learn that they're here, and that's because they've been imported from Japan. Oh, and there's also a whole lot of violence involved, as well as massive amounts of misogyny and borderline beastiality. So... this is a gross one, if you haven't sussed that out yet. We're exploring the Monster Girl Quest Wiki, an exhaustive resource for an actual JRPG about a boy who must protect his sperm from a myriad of horrifying creatures. This week, The F Plus is bummed out by Iron Maiden.

On this podcast, we've covered a lot of people who claim that imaginary things are real, BUT THIS... IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF THAT! We're looking at the universe of "Djinn", genie having people who have either conjured or purchased a noble thousands-year old spirit that they make do the dishes. Then things get weird after that. This week, The Thief of Baghdad is just looking for a nice cuddle.

Hey, so have you ever had a wedgie before? And follow up question, did you find the experience intensely erotic? Well, for your sake, I'm hoping the answer to at least one of those questions was "no", but the members of WedgieHaven.com are not quite so lucky. This week, The F Plus patents our unbreakable G-string formula.

There's so many opinions on the internet, and those opinions are held by people who take considerable effort to try to convince others that their own opinion is correct. But what happens if you want your opinion to be changed by facts and persuasive arguments that others provide to you? Well, hypothetically you go to r/changemyview, a subReddit where people share their own opinion, and then sit back and carefully consider every conflicting opinion that's presented to them. In theory, this is a terrific idea! This week, The F Plus discovers the White Power Black Hole.

Why do we like to laugh? A lot of reasons, really, but let's just go with "because it feels good". But if something just "feels good", does that mean that people on the internet will turn it into a fetish? Well, yes of course. It exists, so people on the internet turn it into a fetish. For this episode, we're examining the world of tickling enthusiasts; it's an overwhelmingly British community of people for whom "coochie coo" plays a disturbingly important role in their lives. This week, The F Plus lives in a Marxist Utopia.

Being social animals, humans need human contact. There's been research done, but it's a self evident truth: We feel better about ourselves when we think there are others in our lives who support and comfort us. But what if nobody cares about you? Well, in that case you sign up for a cuddle party. A cuddle party is a place where people touch each other in a nonsexual way, insist that the way they touch each other is nonsexual, and use the word "boundaries" a lot. And if you aren't creeped out just yet, hit the play button and find out how long it'll take. This week, The F Plus puts touch in your sex.

You've probably come up with your own beliefs on sex, politics, race, religion, and capitalism, but you're about to realize that all of those beliefs are wrong. And maybe that reads like a strong declaration, but I bet it would be even stronger if was in 24pt Times New Roman orange bold italics. We're reading the personal website of John Kitchin, a homelesss Ph.D with a lot of ideas and just as much anger. This week, The F Plus is sick of binary code.

Luscious.net is a (hentai focused) pornographic website where members can do the things they usually do on a pornographic website - by which I mean set up a profile, argue about politics, and complain about problems getting laid. This week, The F Plus figures out that gender just isn't a big deal really.

Everyone wants to have a lover they can trust. Someone with whom they'll feel admired, safe, and unique, and someone who will pick them up when they are down. However, some specific people on the internet mean that literally. We're exploring the "lift and carry" fetish, a predilection of (almost entirely) men who are looking for (almost entirely) petite women to carry them on their shoulders. What's the meaning of this? I dunno for certain, but I'll assume it's British. This week, The F Plus avoids mentioning that Creed song.

There's quite a bit of debate on the existence of ghosts, and all of those debates are stupid and pointless. But fortunately, there's a forum over at anybodythere.net that sidesteps the debate completely and cuts straight to the evidence. Psychic powers, paranormal investigators, chakras, demon lovers, it's all here and it's all spelled as poorly as you would expect. This week, The F Plus finds one smiley particularly troublesome.

Mpreg is a term that means "male pregnancy". And if you know that, you've been on the internet for too long. But you're in good company, because we're gonna spend the longest hour of our lives finding out what mpreg means, what people who are into mpreg fantasize about, and what exactly they think is so sexy about the whole thing. This episode, I shouldn't need to tell you, is very very gross. You should know that going in. This week, The F Plus enters the Pregnancy Olympics.

Drugs are expensive. Plus they're dangerous and illegal besides, so it should come as no surprise that there are swaths of people who are looking for alternative ways to get their collective swerve on. And with the sometimes predatory nature of internet marketing, it should also come as no surprise that there is a substantial number of people who try to convince themselves that listening to bleeps and boops in their headphones will totally give them the best trip of their lives. This week, we're looking at i-doser.com, a place on the internet where people can attempt just that. There's a company all too happy to take teenagers' money in exchange for those bleeps and bloops, and a forum full of teenagers who want to write about how high they are. The results are so much fun that the episode ended up over an hour after considerable editing. This week, The F Plus finally finds some jenkem.

"Caveat Emptor" the old adage says, but that adage is in Latin and doesn't mention the drive-thru window, so it might as well not even exist. We're looking at two different sites: ePinions and MeasuredUp, two different places on the internet where consumers can demand their voice be heard. Of course, nobody's actually going to pay any attention, but they can certainly demand it nonetheless. This week, we're all worried about Dimmy.

Vampires, as a concept, tend to fall in and out of favor, depending on the trends of popular culture. And with that shift in trends, so too is there a flux in the number of people who pretend to be vampires for whatever reason. But fortunately, there is help! Steve Leighton, the proprietor of vampirewebsite.net is a REAL vampire, and he has tips on how to find out if you are also a real vampire, and then how to distinguish yourself from the fakers. This week, The F Plus works on the pilot for our vampire sitcom.

Listen buddy, I don't want to eat your human food. I might look like a human, but I'm actually a bullfrog in my soul, so I want to eat bullfrog food. Except I don't want to eat bugs because that would be totally gross. And if that doesn't make any sense, you need to check your Making Sense Privilege. This week, we're exploring the delicious recipes of Kin Food: A website set up specifically to distribute recipes to tumblrites who refused to be pigeonholed (unless they're part pigeon and part hole). This week, The F Plus has a soft spot for people eating folks.

We're all familiar with DeviantArt as the best place on the internet for crudely drawn pictures of Sonic The Hedgehog hit with a shrink ray and then eaten alive by the the girl in Lollipop Chainsaw. But did you know that DeviantArt also has a large archive of written work, such as poetry? And did you know that the great majority of that written work is terrible? Okay, I'm sure that second reveal wasn't much of a surprise, but we do have some in store for you. This week, Finland meets its match.

Conventional thinking leads to conventional problems. And when a conventional problem needs an unconventional solution, you'll need to step outside of your own mind to really understand the universal problems. And maybe that all looked like gibberish to you, but I'll bet it makes a lot more sense you get super duper high first. At least, that's the typical first (and second and only) step taken by the people of HighDeas.com; a place where the marijuana-inclined can gather and discuss what geniuses they all are except there's no way to prove it. This week, The F Plus makes a burrito turducken.

There's many non-orgasmic things that have been compared to orgasms, but probably none are quite as silly as the traditional sneeze. The subjects of tonite's episode would disagree, we're exploring SneezeFetishForum.org - a place on the Internet where interested parties can go to try to spell out sneezes, and then get super turned on at the spelling of those sneezes. This week, The F Plus hopes your mother doesn't get a cold.

Internet eroticism is a varied, confusing, and repulsive subject. To that end, this is an episode about people who have sex with cars. Confused? Well, if you listen to this entire episode, you'll still be confused. And more than a little grossed out. But hopefully entertained. This week, The F Plus is using Jason's email address.

There's a whole lot of planets out there, but this one's mainly nimrods. We're looking at the curiously named alien-ufos.com, a very popular forum for true believers to discuss the various things aliens did to their butts. This week, The F Plus wants to get abucted (we will not state our reasons).

We've done some other magick episodes, but we haven't yet learned the spell that causes any of this to make sense, so we're gonna keep at it. This time, it's PaganLore.com, another one man website with a bunch of poorly written spell instructions and appalling web design choices. This'll be the one where it all makes sense, I'm sure. This week, The F Plus needs to consult with our VCR.

With so many websites run by people with dubious ethics (take this one for example), we've been introduced to RipoffReport.com; an Alexa ranked website where the people who've been wronged can let the world know. With nearly 2 million reports filed, these people have a story to tell, but the story starts and ends with duh. This week, The F Plus wants to talk about your MILFaholism.

From the raucous Grumpy's Bar in Downtown Minneapolis, The F Plus Live is back! This time with an overarching concept of Weird Romance, you'll be hearing pieces many different books, all written by authors with different mental problems. John Toast: Sass Girls X by Imari Imarea Isfahan: Your Alpha My Mate by WolfWriter Boots Raingear, Kumquatxop & Lemon: Law & Order Fanfic by Where Did Angels Go? Bunnybread: Trolling For Pussy by Brenda Stokes Lee Frank West: Do Unto Others by Nick Stark Portaxx: Twisted! by Miranda Leek Victor Laszlo & STOG: Dark Knight Reboot (pt 1)

We got a lot of love to spread still. STOG: Becoming An Elf Mommy bumpgrrl: Konigsburg's Model Lemon: Popping It by Tim Popper Jimmyfranks: Pandora's Box by Em Furey John Toast, Bunnybread & Lemon: Law & Order Fanfic 2 by Where Did Angels Go? Jack Chick: Desire Untamed by Pamela Palmer

It's the last leg of F Plus Live 3, and we're not running out of energy. Boots Raingear: Taken by the T-Rex by Christie Sims The Not Ready For YouTube Players: Dark Knight Reboot, part 2 Adam Bozarth: The Painting Fuckerby Jonathan Platz-Halter Kumquatxop: Tears of a Clown Adam Bozarth & Frank West: Dark Knight Reboot, part 2

AdultDVDTalk.com is a forum where people talk about porn. And uh... Yeah, I think that pretty much covers it. This is definitely one of the gross ones. This week, The F Plus abandons our jerk off station.

SongWritingFever.com is a place on the internet where self-professed songwriters can post lyrics without accompaniment, and it's up to the internet to build a song around what they have. Alright then, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Our first-ever musical episode has 5 ridiculists trying their best to sing the unsingable. The rest is for the remix.

It's probably a complicated confluence of biology and experience that leads a person to become a foot fetishist, but it is a confluence that clearly happens very often, if the internet is to be believed. What exactly is it that these foot fetishists seem to hold as a common interest? Well, if you ask the members of The Den Of Smelly Feet, the answer is... yeah, that. This week, The F Plus really wants to make out with Gary.

When you get a room full of drug enthusiasts together, the topics of conversation are somewhat predictable; Terrible music, guys we ain't seen lately, and where can we get more drugs. But this episode explores what happens when those topics drift. We're going to The Hip Forums to browse some less popular forums, particularly sexuality and religion, and you WILL be horrified by what you find. No no no, you really will be. This week, The F Plus wants a boatboy (as soon as we know what one is).

The community of contributors to tvtropes.org are clearly experts in consuming mass media. They've honed their skills in identifying devices, contrivances, holes and structure in various plots, so much so that they may have distilled fiction as a whole into simple, repeatable formulas. Does that make them good writers? Let's find out! This week, The F Plus gets 241's at the Angsty Wang.

The understanding and definition of "truth" is constantly redefined, expanded, and re-evaluated with new information as it is learned. Fortunately for us, the brave citizenry of shroomery.org have taken more than their share of mind-expanding drugs, and now they are ready to share their knowledge. Knowledge about how to be a Muslim without believing in the Koran, or the best comedy routines on 9/11 conspiracy theories. This week, The F Plus learns what happens when you sit on a cake.

What is the value of art? That's very difficult to say. It's possible to get your art to sell for hundreds of millions of dollars, but first you'll have to be dead and have your life's work liquidated by David Geffen. If you're unlucky, you're a webcomic author, constantly making Tumblr posts advertising your work to an audience of nobody waiting for the day that everything hits big. And that's where Patreon comes in. A crowdfunding service with no possible benefit for the world, Patreon wants to turn whiny, self-important Best Buy shelf-stockers into whiny, self important internet celebrities. This week, The F Plus can finally buy the special paper.

With a good idea and a great work ethic, anyone can find success. That statement isn't true at all, but what's more important is what happens when you have a terrible idea and no work ethics. We're looking at The Idea Wiki - a place where the internet can write down its poorly considered ideas for anything at all, and then close the browser window and go back to playing Minecraft. This week, The F Plus brings the chips to you (in the end).

The American medical apparatus is a frequenct source of discussion and consternation. We all want to be healthy and live long lives, but when for-profit institutions are supposed to help us with that goal, it's easy to get disillusioned. Lucky for us (and by us I mean the podcast), there's the eHealth forums. If you got a problem, and the only thing you're looking for is idiocy and crappy advice, boy do they ever provide. This week, The F Plus wants you to sniff our beer can.

Have you ever thought to yourself "Man, I wish a pagan would come up to me and talk to me about how their religion works"? Well, that's a service you're gonna need to pay for. This is Wizard at Large Consulting, a company which.... uh.... you know, there's cleansing and reiki and stuff. This week, The F Plus is trying to avoid calling Nazi Christian Spiderman.

Hey guys, you remember that Kickstarter episode? We found worse than that on Indie Go Go. This week, The F Plus selects donors by fuckability.

With sex still being something of a taboo subject, feelings of sexual inadequacy can be complicated. Are you emotionally strong enough to provide a sexual experience that's mutually enjoyed as adventure, discovery, love and combat? Probably not, so how about you just yank on your wang for about 12 hours and see if that makes things any better. This is the topic of penis enlargement. Does it work? You might be surprised to find out how inconsequential the answer to that question is. This week, The F Plus LOVES THE BEACH!

-=ATTENTION EARTH PLEASE STAND BY FOR THE FOLLOWING URGENT MESSAGE Mars needs poets. Also copywriters. Because maybe if we draft better letters than this one we can hopefully get a couple people with some useful skills END TRANSMISSION=- This week, The F Plus' wives won't mind if we leave forever.

Death is a really, really terrifying prospect, and people go through all sorts of convoluted processes to avoid thinking of their own death as an impending end. Some people make up entire past life stories for themselves that they can imagine their lives as part of a greater continuum. Other people go to the forums and read those past life stories in a silly voice, just to pass the time. This week, STOG's daughter is his mother.

It's easy to wax poetic on the trancendant power of music as an art form. What goes beyond words, beyond thought, and into a pure rhythmic experience can change you irrevocably. And then you hear a Ke$ha song and wish music never existed. We're looking at extreme audiophiles - people who experience music in such a way that it can only be quantified by large sums of money spent on useless crap. This week, The F Plus ruins your speaker cables with our negative energy.

There's a lot that can enrage a person. And while that's a perfectly reasonable feeling to have, it's best if you have friends to confide in, to share in your frustrations, and to help you grow and become a better person. But, if you don't have that, the internet has plenty of form fields. Just type words into one of those. This week, The F Plus doesn't trust that 2 year old with the crack rocks.

Sometimes it's difficult to write these episode synopses, so let's do this one direct: This is the ball busting episode. Horrible things happens to balls throughout this episode, which is shorter than most. This week, The F Plus won't let you visit your dragon grandmother.

This one is super duper gross. Anyway, The F-List (unaffiliated with The F Plus) is a community where furries can view the profiles of other furries to see if they're (cyber)sexually compatible. So, what's it take to make a love connection? Common interests, shared life goals, and enough opposing perspective to keep things interesting? Of course not. You just both need to be into navel play. This week, The F Plus explores The Fetish Matrix and very much earns our explicit rating.

For projects in need of crowdfunding, Kickstarter has raised a billion dollars for projects, many of which were poorly considered, but none of them were overtly sexual in nature. What's the world to do when they want to fund the next generation of innovative porno and/or pneumatic dildos? They head over to offbeatr.com. This week, The F Plus signed you up for surprise phone sex.

Alright now fellas, what's cooler than being cool? These tongues! We're spending some time on IceChewing.com. As the name would imply, it's a place on the internet for persons who chew on ice to talk to other people with the same fascination, learn about the reasons that they share their passion, then ignore medical advice and go back to their ice chewing. This week, The F Plus wants to talk to you about the company refrigerators.

With over 20 million units sold, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim has been a shared part of our cultural experience. It's an open world game where you can slay dragons, accept missions, and explore a world created for you. But you know what you can't do? Drink a potion to make your penis four feet long and then use it as a truncheon to assault thieves. And that's where the mod community comes in. We're looking at loverslab.com - a place on the internet where perverts can share and discuss different Skyrim sex mods and complain about how none of them are any good for some reason. This week, The F Plus isn't going to judge your personal footjob technique.

What is there to say about BlurtIt.com that hasn't already been said about the Visigoths? Well, quite a bit, now that I think of it. The point is that BlurtIt is a populist Q and A website, less popular than (but just as stupid as) Yahoo Answers, where people ask all sorts of dumbfounding questions about genitals touching other genitals, and then the answers prove dumber than the questions. This week, The F Plus is suffering from panic panic.

When the internet shrunk our world, it became easier for everyone to compare their own lives against those of their peers and, invariably, feel meloncholy about what they've become and eat a bunch of ice cream. But there are those who rise above this sort of thing, and they are called gamers, or more accurrately, ---+==G4/\/\RZ==+-----. We're looking at True Achievements, a site that assigned each man a number, and then quickly went back to playing Halo again. This week, Mario Lopez steals your girl.

As social mores have changed in the past century, the wedding has evolved dramatically. No longer is it a dogmatic ceremony of tradition, but it can be a celebration of love, community and family. Or it can simply be a fun party. Or, with the internet's help, it could just be another vain blog entry where you explain to a hostaged crowd what a special snowflake you are. This week, The F Plus can't stop laughing (our tongues turned blue!)

Do you ever feel imprisoned by your own life choices? Bills, jobs, responsibilities... it's like we're not even alive anymore! Wouldn't it just be nice to be out there, alone, on the road, making your own way in the world, contracting cholera and giving blowjobs to truck drivers? The people of Squat the Planet think so! This week, The F Plus makes sure there aren't any homos in the bathroom.

Hey, did you ever have a good friend, and your friend was a really good dresser, and you thought "I'm gonna steal her entire outfit and wear it myself and pretend to be her and go to social gatherings specifically for other people who do this sort of thing?" Of course not, that would be creepy. But what if it's not a friend, but a cartoon character? Still creepy? We'll find out as we read Cosplay.com. This week, we're selling our eggs.

Hey, put this wire pyramid on your head, will you? No it doesn't look stupid at all. And it aligns your chakras or something. Okay, I need $300 please. This week, The F Plus chooses between extreme detoxification and profound detoxification.

Look at your hand. Look at the detail in your hand. Look at the center of your hand. Sleep. Deepener. This week on The F Plus, your boobs are making us gay.

Finally, a place on the internet where people can talk about themselves! ExperienceProject.com caters to people with all sorts of problems, diagnoses, and opinions. The only thing that matters is that nobody has to care. This week on the F Plus, we admire our Hunger Games standee.

Does a strict Christian lifestyle prohibit a kinky sex life? As you might expect, there's varying beliefs on this which are nuanced and subtle, so here's the Cliff's notes version: If it gives me a boner, God wants you to do it. We're looking at the life choices made by the Christian Domestic Discipline movement - a patriarchal society who believe men should control women, and use the word "panties" as often as possible in doing so. This week, we're telling your mother EVERYTHING.

Religion is one way to find meaning in one's life, and while it may be spiritually fulfilling, it's still not as fun as sitting in your room and reading Batman comics all day. Well, fortunately these are two great tastes that can go great together. This episode is about Pop Culture Pagans - People who believe their favorite fictional characters are their gods. No, really, they actually totally mean that. This week, you can add graveyard dirt if you like.

The artist leads a difficult life. Struggling to make sense of the world around him, he must create what is in his heart, then endeavor to show the world the truth he believes they must understand. Of course, the artist is a sucker. What he could be doing is putting together a massive wiki talking about himself, performing the same function with a lot more clarity. We're looking at Dozerfleet Productions: One man's quest to get somebody, anybody interested in what he has to say. This week, we're made to feel a little uncomfortable around purple pens.

Living in the 21st century means living in a disposable world. And as human interaction becomes as cheap as the products we use to emulate that interaction, you start to think about love as a disposable commodity, ready to be thrown in the trash at a moment's notice. And then you notice you have a boner because you read the word "trash". We're looking at trash fetishists - people turned on bythe bins, the bags, and of course the filth. This week, The F Plus considers a new kind of Sharia law.

Boots wanted more WikiHow.

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic premiered in 2010, almost exactly a year after The F Plus' first episode. But despite this, we've intentionally avoided the topic of Bronies throughout the podcast simply because it seemed too simple and straightforward to spend an hour going "I find cartoon horses sexy". Of course, we should have realized that is the entry point and it gets more insane from there. This week, nuzzling!

Many children find comfort in stuffed animals as constant companions along their journey of growing up, providing a silent, understanding, and eternally available presence in a strange and overwhelming experience. Then, for a very very very small minority of people, those thoughts change. What was once a reliable friend becomes a masturbation sleeve, except it's worse than that because you insist you love it. That's right, it's plushies. This week, The F Plus tells another story about Mother.

Every year when November rolls around, conversation frequently drifts into one of two subjects: The moustache I totally would be growing if circumstances were different, and the novel I totally would be writing if circumstances were different. In this episode, we're concerned with the latter: Persons participating in National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo), mainly by hanging out on a forum and spitballing crappy ideas around. This week, The F Plus buys a hundred head of Satan's cattle.

One of the reasons why so many movies and televisions shows are set in high school is because, to varying degrees, the high school experience leaves an indelible mark on all of us. Our first experiences with sexual rejection, social politicking, and your own purpose in a greater society - these are difficult concepts which frustrated many of us when we were teenagers. And then, as we learned from school-survival.net, these can also be concepts some of us never grasped, and never could manage to get over. This week, The F Plus wants you to lose weight for school pictures.

In a pre-internet age, the best way for young guys who had problems finding love to meet other guys with the same problem was to ask the question "Hey dude, do you play Magic: The Gathering?" The community has become marginally more sophisticated since then and the term "incel" (involuntary celibacy) was born. "Involuntary Celibacy?" you ask, "isn't that a really irritating way to say that you can't get laid and pretend like it's a political group?" Well, welcome to love-shy.com, there's gonna be a whole lot of that kind of thing here. This week, The F Plus gets off just looking at each other.

Coulrophobia (the fear of clowns) is a word that's only about three decades old. Presumably before that, people who were terrified of clowns were just called Person Who Has Seen A Clown Before. But a much less discovered topic is the one of coulrophilia, translated from the latin it means Perverts That Get Boners When They Think About Clowns Doing It, or more simply Tuesday on Fetlife. This week, The F Plus accidentally applies to work in the Circus.

There's moments of blissful comfort that can be undeniably wonderful. To find someone that you care about, and wrap their body around your own, silently sharing a few moments of euphoric, peaceful togetherness, is there anything better than that? The people in this week's episode would say: Yes, it would be better if she was flat and she just spent an hour talking about how flat she was, that would be totally hot. Because this podcast is still going strong, and as it turns out we haven't exhausted the weird fetishes yet, so this time it's about the object of your affection being flat. This week, The F Plus can't just play the theme song once.

Emily Dickinson is often quoted as saying "The heart wants what it wants." She died in 1899, over a hundred years before the popularization of the modern internet. But I put the following question to you: If Emily Dickinson was alive today, would she have an account on the Serebii.net forums? More importantly, and stay with me here, would she go on the Serebii.net forums and participate in a 100 page thread about people who are sexually attracted to Pokemon? You can't, with absolute 100% certainty, say no, which is the same thing as yes. This week, Ampharos promises to be gentle up there.

According to a 2012 Huffington Post omnibus poll, 45% of Americans believe that ghosts are real. And according in a 2008 survey published by Psychology Today, 44% of women admit to having rape fantasies. Statistically, this leaves an inevitable overlap for those two Venn circles, and that's what we're exploring. From several sites around the internet, this is Astral Sex - it's kind of like a Scooby Doo parody porno, except all the visualization is being done in your head, which probably makes it worse. This week, we're back from some time off, and THIS is what we're reading!?

As modern people, it's easy for us to find our day to day lacking in dramatic moments. Of course, it could be up to all of us to go out in the world and find our own adventure, to live the life that each of us have been briefly allotted. The thing is though, finding our own adventure sometimes means losing your internet connection, so screw it. Outside is overrated anyway. And so say the members of Chicken Smoothie, a kid-friendly furry virtual-pet trading thingamajig with a very active community of role play forum posters. This week, there's no laws about The F Plus (just a long list of rules).

On a planet with a population of 7 billion, it's easy to get overwhelmed by the shortcomings of other people. Hopefully you have friends, loved ones, and a strong vibrant community where you can be a part of a greater whole, providing for others while benefitting from their care. But if there's not the case, there's a lot of other angry idiots on the internet you can shout at. We're looking at whyihatepeople.com, a site where you can complain about the stupidity of others while trying avoid pot/kettle conversations about your own stupidity. This week, The F Plus has been thinking about peeing on your coat.

It's hard for an independent game developer to break into the business. With average budgets for high profile games now exceeding $20 million, and an ever increasing number of different publishers competing over market share, how is a guy with no education and no experience going to create, publish and market his own game? The answer is simple: He's not! And that's totally fine, because the game he would have created would have just been a rehash of other games using characters he didn't own the rights to. We're looking at the Fantendo wiki - a place where people can skip game development and cut straight to game journalism. Because really, the journalism's the most sophisticated part. This week, The F Plus needs to stay radical or it will implode!

Love is a curious thing. The thing that drives two people together into a passionate embrace is as complicated as it is powerful. But the thing that drives one person to claim that they're married to a Norse god? That's called "being a crazy person". We're taking a look at Lokiwives and godspouses: People who claim to be in a polygamous relationship with one or more gods, and report that the sex is terrific. This week, wherever you go, whatever you do, these people still won't make any sense. Editor's note: Documents were provided for this episode by Sherlockian and Gaylord McHappenstance as well.

From the very beginning, the Internet was created as a method of transferring useful, verifiable, and well sourced information from one place to another. Then some other guys showed up and said "Free information? There's no money in that!", and thus our lives were forever changed by the ASP.NET framework. But when it comes to monetizing expertise, no website charges as much while supplying as little as LivePerson.com: A multi-million dollar website where morons sell information they don't have to suckers who don't know they don't have it. This week, The F Plus is reading strategy guides to this year's Christmas Games.

Any wise man must know that there is much to the universe that he does not know. But the wiser man makes up a bunch of crap about other universes and then sells that crap to suckers for two hundred bucks a pop. On a completely related note, Burt Goldman wants to welcome you to Quantum Jumping. What is Quantum Jumping? That's privileged information, I'm gonna need your bank account information first. But while we're waiting for this transaction to process, how about I read some testimonials? This week, Isfahan will not hesitate to shoot his doppelganger.

LIVE from the home of Zynga, it's The F Plus Podcast! When Lemon and Boots visited The City By The Bay, they felt it was perfectly appropriate to sample the culinary traditions of such a vibrant and exciting city. Then, after eating some really good tacos, they made some raw food garbage based on recipes they found on the internet. Have you ever wanted to know what raw vegetable makes a perfect substitute for linguine? Or how changing the color of your salt can improve your chakra? Of course not, because you're not an idiot. This week, The F Plus plays the crunch twice for good measure.

I guess if you think about it for a little while, you could probably come up with a couple good things that women have provided for the world. Apparently the square bottom paper grocery bag was invented by a woman, also COBOL, and say what you will about the execution, but Toxic is a pretty catchy song. Still though, for the writers of sites like the-spearhead.com, avoiceformen.com and Men Going Their Own Way, that simply isn't enough. These are some dudes that have some issues with women, and like a lot of things, that's the fault of women. This week, The F Plus feels emboldened by the smell of urinal cakes.

For the 100th Episode of The F Plus, we wanted to take a couple of hours exploring the internet's stupid and misguided history, tackling some subjects from many years ago that have stuck with us like a herpes sore. This is part two. Part one is here Alex Chiu Is Going To Make You Gorgeous Matthew Moulton Has A Hard Time Making Friends Why Is It That People Forget About The Elven Holocaust? And Then Legolas Said "Which Voice Did I Use For This Again?" Dave Hopkins Doesn't Need To Listen To Your Criticism

For the 100th Episode of The F Plus, we wanted to take a couple of hours exploring the internet's stupid and misguided history, tackling some subjects from many years ago that have stuck with us like a herpes sore. This is part one. Part two is here Ulilillia Really Likes Pizza, Some Colors, And Bubsy (and he has the math to prove it) David Gontermann Has An Unhealthy Conversation With An Underage Hedgehog JustinRPG Goes On A Talk Show To Explain His Love For Reshiram I Genuinely Have No Idea Why I Can't Get Laid, I Presume It Must Be A Conspiracy The Rat Porn Lady Is Going To Cast A Spell On You Yiff The Otter Let's Read Random Selections From Time Cube HI I'M CAROLE AND I HATE MY BODY Pinku Is Japanese For Pink

With operating budgets starting in the millions of dollars, the American Motion Picture is not an art form prone to risk or innovation. As the internet democratizes art, fresh ideas can come from anywhere. Take, for example, the website FilmProposals.com, where people write down poorly considered movie ideas to an audience of nobody for no reason whatsoever. Could this change the face of Hollywood? Sure, why not? This week, sex will be had (like it or not).

Many people would agree that monkeys, by and large, are pretty cute. This is why they make popular zoo attractions, popular designs on t-shirts, and popular themes in nursery gear. Because we like looking at monkeys, they're a lot like us. But not so much like us that we'd consider adopting one and raising it like it was our own child. Well... most of us wouldn't do that.

The F Plus has spent a number of years exploring odd areas of the internet in order to present you with material you might find thought provoking, interesting, horrifying, or otherwise upsetting to your worldview. Sometimes. We sometimes do that. Other times we find crappy fanfiction and read it derisively. This week, The F Plus has forgotten what The F Plus did with all the prounouns The F Plus had.

For over a hundred years, the character of Sherlock Holmes has been an inescapable touchstone of Western Culture. The subject of sixty stories written by Arthur Conan Doyle has led to more radio, television film and stage adaptations than even Wikipedia would care to document, and you might say that since those original stories were published, these producers have been making fanfiction. However, it wasn't until the 2010 BBC series that the fanfiction became as creepy as it could be. This week, The F Plus finally figures out spooning.

"Culture" is a tricky word, but it best describes our modern popular arts and entertainment, regardless of quality. When it comes to music, the disposable profit-motivated pop music released over the past 60 years has done far more to influence our way of life than the hundreds of years of finely crafted art before it. Maybe this is a condemnation of the direction humanity has taken, or maybe it's that it's way more fun to listen to "Shoop" than it is to read Leaves of Grass. But have you ever taken a moment to consider who was really responsible for all of this? Because it turns out it's just some lady with a blog. This week, we're writing the definitive Nirvana biopic. Editor's note: Cleretic also submitted a document with this content.

Here's the thing about our AllRecipes episodes: Sure they're stupid, but food actually exists. Welcome to SpellsofMagic.com, a place where you go in knowing that you'll be reading instructions on how to cast magic spells and yet you're still surprised by the poor writing abilities. This week, if you take this podcast as a joke you'll have to restart life. Editor's note: Montrith provided additional content for this episode. Thanks Montrith.

This is an episode all about people who are sexually aroused by insects touching their genitals. So if you hit play, that's your business.

Politicians would insist that American ingenuity is the reason for American exceptionalism. They are, of course, lying. All it really takes to be exceptional is the belief that you are exceptional, everything else is just details. Fortunately for the subjects of tonite’s episode (the members of InventorSpot and AHHHA) details aren’t important. They have an idea. They haven’t given it any thought, they won’t give it any effort, and it’s not a good idea in the first place, but they have an idea. This week, pay attention or it's the naughty chair again.

We were actually recording a completely unrelated episode when we stumbled across this content by accident. So, we just did what comes naturally to a young man.

The last dozen years of internet development has brought avenues of conversation we wouldn't have thought possible in the previous dozen. And yet, through all of this, is there any place at all where ill-informed idiots can gather together and spew pointless hate about random subjects? The answer of course is yes, there is all sorts of places where that exact thing happens. And yet, it wasn't until JustRage.com that anyone actually thought that would be a valid thing for a website to specialize in. This week, you get drunk, you skip school, just have sex already.

Parenting, as many have said, is a difficult task. But it's a task that's made significantly simpler if you just decide you'll let your children do whatever they want. We're exploring the forums of mothering.com, a place where mothers can gather to discuss raising the single most brilliant and unique person the world has ever known, but it turns out there's quite a few of them. This week, we're stocking up on Placenta Helper.

There's around 7 billion living human bodies on this Earth, and while there's some general variance between them, you'll find a lot of similarities. And the members of bodymod.org finds this all dreadfully boring. Theirs is a place where people can gather to discuss doing terrible things to their flesh with other people who won't try to talk them out of it. This week, you're gonna wish we had anesthetic.

The opening sentence on debate.org describes the site as a "community where intelligent minds from around the world come to debate online and read the opinions of others." We decided this needed looking into, on the assumption that any website which would brag about the intellectual level of its debates might be fooling itself. What we found was a mish-mash of poorly reasoned arguments, pointless mental excercizes, and flat out stupidity. This week, The F Plus discovers if Justin Bieber is cute or not.

Human beings come in a myriad of shapes and sizes, and the enlightened among us would say that this is all perfectly fine. While there may be difficulties or handicaps or struggles with having or striving for certain body types, it is up to each person to find comfort in a life they choose for themselves. Again, this is the enlightened opinion. There's also the opinions of angry idiots on the internet, who loudly shriek that drawing a correlation between weight and health is equivalent to committing a hate crime. This may surprise you, but we're spending time with the latter. This week, The F Plus gets mad at corporate skinny cats.

It should be no surprise to any of you that a reasonable percentage of the population finds the female breast aesthetically pleasing. There are all sorts of scientific and emotional reasons for this, but some tastes can develop from there. Many would prefer that they have a certain girth but (much to the dismay of Coco T), many will also agree that there is such a thing as "too big". The writers in this episode, all of whom belong to the website TheOverflowingBra.com, would argue that breasts can't be "too big" unless the Earth fails to contain them, and then only just. This week, The F Plus delivers our one week payload.

A little while ago, we opened it up to you, The F Plus listeners, to provide us with some of the most intensely absurd material we could find. Then we had troubles releasing episodes regularly, but the two are unrelated. The point is, we sounded the alarm, and several people inundated us with crazy. To celebrate that fact, we have here a selection of three of the most irritating and/or baffling submissions of the lot, wrapped up with a little bow. You know, for fun. This week, we introduce Jenny J Jay Number J.

Hypothesis, thesis, antithesis. It's those three words that distill the Scientific Method. A way of thinking that has brought our society the majority of the gifts given to itself over the last thousand years. But some people (mainly from the Southern US, to be frank) have decried this methodology, believing it unknowable when an inkling becomes a theory. This is all just as well, because the folks over at Godlike Productions have come up with a new crucible: Go to a hideous website, explain your theory to uncaring nitwits, and if you still believe what you think by the time the thread dies, your statement is fact. This week, The F Plus all have our hands on our vaginas.

Here is some poetry. It is butt.

Explaining his methodology for creating tension in his films, Alfred Hitchcock said "There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it." This sums up the fetish of our subjects quite well, as long as you substitute "the bang" with "peeing". And substitute "terror" with "boner". And... well, you should probably misspell all the other words just to make it thematically appropriate. In this episode, we're looking at the writings of omoroshi fetishists — persons whom (for reasons known only to themselves) the idea of needing to pee is super duper hot. This week, you'll grit your death in agony.

Some people believe that it's poor form to make fun of people with legitimate mental issues. We have a slightly different ethical stance on the matter, mostly centered around the fact that Connie Marshall makes us all giggle. But anyway, if you were to have this standard, where would you draw the line? If people with schizophrenia are off-limits, what about people who don't have schizophrenia, but pretend like they do? Wouldn't that just be a different kind of mental disorder? And if those people were banging on about how they're being persecuted by the "singlets", wouldn't that drain any compassion you might otherwise feel? To test all of these, we're exploring Multiple Systems - a complicated architecture drawn by people whose brains are basically a television with a hyperactive remote. This week, we're running out of voodka.

As third wave feminism took hold in the 1990's, popular culture found themselves once again looking at the power dynamics of sexuality. Could a woman be strong and independent while still bandying around words like “slut”? Perhaps. Can people live self-actualized lives and still secretly crave a certain sense of helplessness and longing for the strength of another? Probably. Is this a terrible summary for an episode that's all about ladies getting stuck in quicksand? Undoubtedly. We're exploring QuicksandFans.com - a site for people who really like to think about other people getting stuck in preposterous situations only slightly less embarassing than Mitt Romney's current campaign. This week, the F Plus learns the correct way to measure how much room there is in your bog.

As each generation ages, it looks back on the mistakes of generations before and tries to make changes. As a result, the status and politics of gender are in constant upheaval, as men and women are constantly redefining what it means to be a member of their sex. Learned sociologists have explored what it is to be a man, and our subject for this episode is not one of them. Instead, we're reading the musings of Michael Byc. He considers himself an alpha male as well as a writer, though we're left to guess which of these two things he thinks he's better at. This week, we're all wearing sandals.

A civilized society is a society of laws, but problems may occur when brilliant and cunning individuals find ways to circumvent the spirit of a law while adhering cynically to its letter. Our subject for this episode, Jonathan Lee Riches, is neither brilliant nor cunning, and it was his many thousand daliances with the legal community that got him a fair amount of gawker attention, and nothing much else. Can one man bring down the entire legal system just by filing frivolous lawsuit? Nope! Seems like he can't but that won't make him stop trying. This week, various buddhist monks finally get what's coming to them.

Like any modern internet citizens, we mourn the loss of AskJeeves.com. Back in its heyday, you could ask Jeeves any question, and the software would provide a response. Okay, sure - the response that Jeeves would give would have nothing to do with your question, and would instead try to point you to the website of its sponsor, but at least it was comforting that whatever your question was, Jeeves felt he has an answer. As it happens, over at the website eHelp.com, there's a similar situation. Except instead of poorly written algorithm that randomly selects a sponsor, eHelp has one guy, or maybe it's a parrot. Anyway, you'll find out when you listen. This week, The F Plus learns if slavery was a good or a bad thing.

As the debate about the United States being a Christian Nation™ rages on (mostly in the form of poorly conceived Chick-Fil-A marketing efforts), we at The F Plus (excluding its leader, who spent the week on other pursuits) found ourselves wondering: What is the truest vision of Hell, and is Brokencyde making records there? Fortunately for us all, Tumblr exists, and if there ever was a more informative website than Tumblr, I haven't seen it. Full disclosure: The writer of this summary has only ever seen Tumblr and CatsThatLookLikeHitler.com. This week, The F Plus has a coupon for half of any sandwich energy.

In the four years that we've been cataloging the stranger parts of the Internet in podcast form, we've been asked why we've never done anything with furries. The issue mainly relies on the expansiveness of this subject - with the sheer amount of furries and furry-related shenanigans on the internet, along with the fact that most internet-savvy people at least have some passing knowledge of what a furry is, we need to be selective in our focus. Fortunately, Zeis introduced us to Pounced.Org - a furry dating website similar to okCupid, but with far more use of the term "diaperfur". This week, The F Plus develops a clothes-wearing fetish.

In the run up to the 2008 American election, Barack Obama told the world that "We are the change we seek." And now, as we reflect on our discontent with the status quo of tax policies, drone strikes, prisoners held indefinitely, and general apathy, we may realize that maybe we weren't looking for us at all. Real change is gonna come from the internet, in the form of asinine and pointless online petitions. We're looking at Change.org and PetitionOnline.com, two sites where your voice can be heard, but it will still be marble-mouthed and pubescent. This week, who wants to get high? Go Islanders!

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange taught us a couple things about the world we live in. Firstly, it turns out that Steve Martin's hair may actually just be that color. But only slightly less shocking is the revelation that our government is keeping secrets from us. Millions of secrets! And yeah, some of them might involve the United States bombing our own journalists, but the folks at Above Top Secret have unraveled even deeper mysteries. Did you know that you can jump higher during the night time? It's true! Just don't bother testing that empirically because the Government will probably falsify your records. This week, The F Plus is breaking the laws of thermodynamics.

An independent artist and Jell-O spokeswoman once said "love is a battlefield". She then said "love is a battlefield" many more times, because it was part of the chorus of her hit single, and if you don't sing the hits, the guys that run the state fairs don't give you the money. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yes, love. It's a difficult topic, fraught with pain, heartbreak and uncertainty. Just because you love someone, does that mean she'll love you back? Well, if the object of your affection is a fictional cartoon character, the answer is always no, and among Otaku, that means yes. We're reading the thoughts of people in love with cartoon characters, and their love is just as real as their love for their last girlfriend. You don't know her. She lives in Canada. This week, The F Plus gets a busy signal trying to call the 3-D Police Department.

For man to be truly aware of himself, he must explore his own mind. To examine your own thoughts, wants and failures and growing on the things you've learned is the way to thrive; to be a member of an evolving species who looks toward the horizon and takes a step forward. But what of dreams, those manifestations of your subconscious that you cannot seize control of? With an expression so disjointed and free of rational thought, can a dream really ever be understood? Well, if you're a member of dreammoods.com, sure! All you gotta do is start typing. This week, The F Plus is just waiting for Varzandeh to show up.

Popular media seems to get no end of pleasure in exploring the day to day drudgery of characters who belong in a comic book universe. For those superheroes and supervillains, their life is so absurd that there is very little relatability of those characters to people living in the real world. But then thanks to online RPGs like City of Heroes and Champions Online, anyone with an internet connection and a love for paying fees can create their own superhero and live in a world populated exclusively by other characters who also have stupid skill-sets. For the first of our Race For Ridiculism Showcase Episodes, Cleretic will be bringing us to this world, and forgetting to pack enough moist towelettes. This week, buy one glimp and get one free!

Respected authors and lifelong readers hold differing opinion on the benefits of the kindle. While some bemoan the loss of the tactile pleasures of a good novel, others feel an e-book is a purer manifestation of the written word. Of course, their debate is an irrelevancy. Human society never backs away from a technology for romantic reasons and those who want to do so are usually being nostalgic just because they enjoy being nostalgic. Plus, most people are just reading porn on those things anyway. This week, The F Plus tries to return our inflatable dog.

Hoosier biologist and unbelievable superpervert Alfred Kinsey believed that human sexual proclivities could all be charted on a seven point scale, from fully hetero to fully homo. Further, he attested that the majority of the species drifted towards the middle - in a grey area between gay and straight. But there's an oft-forgotten classification in this scale of sexuality, and that is for people who are completely dismissive of the whole affair altogether. I'm talking about the asexuals: people so unconcerned with sexual pursuits that they are free to spend their time more wisely, like telling the internet how unconcerned they are with sexual pursuits. This week, The F Plus doesn't even know what you're talking about. No really!

As politcal rhetoric becomes increasingly rancorous and the division between politcal ideals divides wider so that no plausible middle ground can be reached, there are some people out there that feel that existing within a pre-established democracy just isn't going to work out, and that it's probably better to just start a new country from scratch. For all of these people, from the founders of Sealand to Sarah Palin's husband to those Libertarians in the 80's who got invaded by Tonga, results have been fairly discouraging. However, none of those people have ever made their own wiki site to explain their pitch, so things are probably looking up for the Federated Commonwealth of Malatora. This week, The F Plus learns that existence is futile.

The psychology and thematic considerations of "What Makes For Good Horror?" is something often discussed at length by people you probably don't want to associate yourself with. Obviously they may argue amongst themselves over minutae, but will usually cite a construction of tension, a feeling of malevolence, a spirit of helplessness, and no fewer than six bare breasts as the essential elements for finely constructed, timeless horror. The stories contained within this episode have none of these things, relying instead on grammatical errors and poor plot construction for a different feeling of unease entirely. This week, she melted. Seriously: she melted!

For as long as man has had conscious thought, he has thought about sex, and this has certainly been reflected in his literary themes. From the literate but hypermasculine rememberances of Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer, to the literate but impishly comedic creations of Voltaire's Candide to the not-at-all literate nor interesting fap material in John Cleland's Fanny Hill, erotic writing has had a storied history inside the pages of legitimate fiction. But fortunately, the English published Literary Review has helpfully highlighted some of the least impressive examples for us to lend our voices to. This week, the F Plus is on top of you, Skinner.

The modern world is one of isolation. As citizens of The First World, we are increasingly given license to socialize with whom we want, experience the things we choose, and create communities where we notice one lacking. As this happens, the concept of the status quo fades into a more abstract concept, and people start to wonder if they're normal being who they are. Looking for guidence, they turn to the internet, which is problematic because asking the internet what's normal is like.... asking the internet what's normal. If there's a better corollary I haven't thought of it. This week, The F Plus discovers new ways to take peyote.

The Sasquatch (or "Bigfoot", if you're prone to epithets) is a large ape-like creature which typically finds its home in the Pacific Northwest where it somethimes poses for blurry photographs. Also it can read and write. Also it has sixth sense. Also it exists both in our world and in another dimension which has neither shape nor form. Also it lives among The Star People. Also it can teleport. Also it farts a lot. Also it can shape shift. Also it actually exists. Look, the point here is that dolphin expert Joan Ocean has a website which introduced all to the beauty of nature, and now we want to teach others about it. This week, The F Plus starts to apologize for that long hiatus.

There's a number of laws we all understand: Murder is illegal pretty much everywhere, as is theft and assault. We all recognize that, but then there's always gray areas. Does a schoolyard fight count as assault? Is it truly theft is it's not a physical object? And is murder justified if the person you just killed was talking about how funny last week's Big Bang Theory was? Legal experts have a difference of opinion, and as a country ages, laws get more and more complex. The finer points become less clear to the country's citizens, in particular the citzens who are also idiots. This week, The F Plus makes a protein shake with iguana meat.

Growing up is hard. There's plenty of fiction centered around the frustration of adolescence, even more fiction on the malaise of adulthood, and then it's death after that. Wouldn't it be nice to just be a baby forever? Well, no - obviously it wouldn't. None of us remember our time as an infant, but clearly being mute, frail and covered in your own waste cannot be the most intellectually stimulating time of your life. But then, there's those that think that all sounds pretty good, especially if they can have sex while they're at it. This week, The F Plus wonders if adult babies are grosser than Bad Dragon customers.

Celebrity is a powerful but complicated status to keep on yourself. Some achieve by accident, some achieve by will, but then suddenly twenty years have gone by and you realize the ticket sales aren't what they used to be. Take Sinéad O'Connor for example. Responsible for a double platinum album in 1990 and the center of the biggest SNL scandal since John Belushi invited Fear on stage, now we're nearing the end of 2011, and she still wants you to know she's in the mix. This week, The F Plus learns a little something about lurrve.

In this outtake from episode 47 (In The World of Dragon Dildos, Is The Chin Wattle Man King?), we come across a thread where Bad Dragon customers freely discuss the times that their masturbation routines went unexpectedly. Absolute horror ensues.

We've been doing The F Plus podcast for a couple years now, so it's actually kind of an oversight on our part that we've never read stories about Roy Orbison. Or, more specifically, stories about Roy Orbison being completely wrapped up in clingfilm. Honestly, I can't imagine how we've avoided the subject for so long. This week, The F Plus finally experiences the greatest pleasure man has ever known.

Part Two of F Plus Live 2 starts out a little dirty, but eventually we wipe up the floor. Lemon ft. bumpgrrl: Lemon's Craft Corner (using Make Your Own Sex Toys by Matt Pagett) Jimmyfranks: The Fine Art of Erotic Talk by Bonnie Gabriel bumpgrrl: The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy Lemon: How To Be A Sexual God In 3 Easy Lessons by Dusty White Portaxx: 10, 000 Ways to Say I Love You by Gregory Godek Isfahan: Mentalist Martial Arts by Ryan Blumenthal

In our second live show, The F Plus Improves Your Life with the following readings... Kumquatxop: Here's The Situation by The Situation Boots Raingear: How to Good-bye Depression by by Hiroyuki Nishigaki Jack Chick: The Love Voodoo Kit by Voodoo Lou STOG The Power (The Secret) by Rhonda Byrne John Toast: Every Young Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn

Starting any creative endeavor takes a lot of hard work, dilligence, business acumen and some amount of money. It used to be that you were expected to come up with all of that yourself, but with the internet being what it is, people have come to expect that other people should provide at least one of those important factors. To that end, we would like to introduce you to kickstarter.com - a site dedicated to enterpraneurs amassing capital by the time-tested means of asking someone else for it. It's kind of like panhandling, except they like to use the word investment. This week on The F Plus, you won't need to put down your controller to grab a snack.

This is the last in our series of shorts for a little while, while we get the F Plus Live audio prepped for public consumption. This is a six minute short originally recorded during episode 42 (The Childfree Hardcore Episode). In the episode, we had read a little piece from a guy named Otakindude, who was angry because he was too fat to be Henry. After reading his tirade, we found his livejournal, which is what we're reading here. What's Otakindude's religion? And how did he discover his vampire powers? You're about to find out!

The Austrian-born philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein contended that a man could never truly know the mind of any other man. His belief was that language and thought are just too dissimilar in concept that to use one to explain the other is at best insufficent and at worst a fruitless excercise. Now it's about 70 years later, and we've all learned how to say “it's just like that one Star Trek episode.” TV Tropes is a community that defines and catalogues the shortcuts used in modern fiction, but this week, The F Plus is going to learn a little bit about these TV Tropers, and why so many of them are so gosh darn terrific.

We've been looking into your Facebook updates, and we've noticed you've been good all summer. You've been eating healthier, cutting down on sugary drinks, even getting a reasonable amount of excercise this year. Yes indeed, it's been work, but we've noticed you're looking a lot better and you don't seem quite as depressed as you used to be. But guess what? Summer's over. So let's get you back to your old habits. From the very fattest locations of AllRecipes.com to the most criminally negligant Food Network celebrities, we're going to be reading recipes that will make your arteries clog just from the sound of it. This week on The F Plus, it's all gonna look like poo poo.

Since the dawn of the moving picture, studios have produced cartoons to appeal to a younger audience. These cartoons are typically colorful, whimsical, and unscrupulously cynical in their approach to selling merchandise to an impressionable and undiscerning fanbase. And since the dawn of the internet, this very same fanbase has demonstrated their psycho-sexual attraction to these cartoons that only wanted to sell them junk. To that end, we present you with Pokégirls - one man's fantasy to create an entire race of anthropomorphic beastgirls forced into sexual servitude and apparently being fine with it. This week on The F Plus, we take The Elite Whore Challenge*. (Portaxx assures us that joke is funny.)

As a species, humans have a small list of needs, a larger list of wants, and an even larger list of things to get arrogent and pissy about. This episode is all about water, specifically bottled water, which (as it turns out) can fit all three of these categories. Much in the same way that certain self-professed experts can wax poetic on the merits of certain wine vintages, there's a small but growing number of people who would like to share their enthusiasm for water, and just like the wine guys, they seem to be making most of this stuff up. This week, The F Plus gives the internet a thousand dollar swirlie.

When you hear the words "bad fiction", there's a lot of different things that might come to mind. Perhaps you think of the works of completely inept but infuriatingly popular writers like Dan Brown or Danielle Steel. And one day, we'll get to writers like those. But for now, we have Storyprovider - a Finnish fanfic writer who, in a sentence, will misspell as many words as he spells correctly. This week, The F Plus would like to recommend the Army Fried Gyu.

This is an episode all about vore. If you don't know what the word "vore" means, then you can consider yourself morally pure. You don't spent a lot of time on the internet looking up creepy fetishes, and you're probably living a healthier and more productive life because of it. Unlucky for you, you're about to lose that innocence. Vore is a fetish wherein people eat other people. It's not cannibalism, that's something else. This is a thing about people eating other people whole. I'm sure the community for this will be well-rounded and reasonable. This week, The F Plus asks to Super Size our meal.

Some of our favorite F+ content has come to us, unsolicited, by our listeners. Honestly, I don't know how it is that you're coming across this kind of reading material, but I'm glad you do. To that end, we're offering three profoundly strange listener submissions: The first is fiction involving a transmogrification fetish, the second is a confession of one woman's love for a Peterbilt truck, and the third? Burp fetish. Yes, you read that right, burp fetish. This week, The F Plus tries to find their missing sock.

Yes, it's another WikiHow episode. No, it's not a re-run. Frankly, Boots has been wanting to record a second WikiHow episode since we finished recording the first one, and he's got a point. There's really so much additional ground we need to cover, it would be downright irresponsible for us to think we've taught you enough. We're covering the words of teenagers, misogynists, morons, nerds and perverts, all of whom have helpful advice for you. This week, The F Plus finishes Step Twelve.

If you've listened to the F Plus for any length of time, you've probably found yourself familiarized with certain obscure fetishes. And while some of these fetishes have been really strange, there's always a portion of the listenership that was already familiar with this subculture. That trend ends now. What we have here is a community of men and women who are really turned on by poor eyesight. People for whom the height of eroticism is ophthalmology exams with really poor numbers. This week on the F Plus, we let STOG sing a country song.

Over the last couple months, the so-called "legitimate press" has spent time talking about the extension of the USA PATRIOT Act, legislation which has allowed the US Government to secretly monitor its citizens since 2001. But really, so what!? It barely makes a hill of beans of difference when you consider the sophisticated audio, video, microwave, laser and improvizational surveillance which the goverment has put in place specifically to annoy some woman named Connie Marshall. This week, The F Plus rethinks their millinery choices. (Look it up)

Poorly constructed news reports and badly writen books will often speak about the "digital lives" that the anonymity of the internet afford us all. In the world of a MUCK (or multi-user chat kingdom), players can create an artificial personality and then use it to have artificial sex with other artificial personalities. And if that already sounds gross, it's gonna get worse when you're dealiing with people who have no idea how the female body works. This week, the F Plus finds new uses for the heart shaped box.

Nearly 50 episodes in, and it's time for The F Plus' first crossover. Lou Fernandez (of the Lou Reads podcast) is no stranger to terrible writing on the internet, but how will he respond when he's stuck in a room full of F Plus readers? Moreover, how will the F Plus readers respond to reading the okCupid profiles of the internet's most irritating nerds? The results shouldn't surprise you! This week, The F Plus looks at people who cannot possibly have sexually transmitted diseases.

I'd like you all to think back to the time that you were at an adult video store browsing the various "marital aids" that the store had available. Don't be shy to admit it, we're all friends here! Now... you remember looking at some of the more ridiculous products and giggling with your significant other over the thought of "Who would actually buy this thing?" This episode is like that, but way worse. We're focusing on the community of Bad Dragon, an online retailer of sex toys accurately modeled after the genitals of creatures that don't actually exist. This week, The F Plus visits the astral plane and gets busted by vice cops.

The PUA (pick up artist) Community is filled with self identified experts on bedding women, all jockeying for prominence and trying to sell basically the same book. How does one peacock his way to notoriety and celebrity status to be identified as an alpha-PUA? Well, if you're tonight's subject (a man named Roosh V), you do it by spending most of your time banging away at your blog, and trying to find the best font for the "I HATE WOMEN" sign that you hang over your head. This week, The F Plus congratulates American women for making this guy leave the country.

For those unfamiliar with it, Supernatural is a television show about two hunky guys who fight monsters. Pulling from The CW's demographic of sexually frustrated young women with disposable income, it's a show with a fan base of a surprising number of pervy women who want to see the two hunky guys do it with each other. You'd think these women would be deterred by the fact that the hunky guys are actually brothers, but apparently that makes it better. This week, The F Plus looks at Wincesters until we reach for our Winchesters.

While you probably couldn't tell it by this podcast, the internet is not entirely a place for weirdo fetishists to meet other weirdo fetishists and talk about Pokemon. I mean, yeah, that's a pretty big part of it. But there's also the often overlooked sector of the intenet which functions as an informational resource. We're already familiar with Wikipedia and IMDb, but there's also sites like WikiHow, a site which will teach you how to do ANYTHING! (as long as it's stupid) This week, The F Plus will be drinking during our 12 step program.

This is the internet, and there are nerdy teenagers on it. As such, there are a lot of people writing a lot of fanfiction about their favorite television shows. Having a podcast with an interest in such things means you have to be discerning, and seek out the fanfiction authors with a certain je ne sais quoi, a mixture of verve and enthusiasm for the written word that causes you to rethink everything you've been taught. Or maybe it's just terrible prose. This week on the F Plus, we're learning Danube ain't just a river in Germany.

Most will agree that the decision to have a child is not one to be taken lightly, and in a modern world with new and complicated parenting concerns, some will remain resolute to never have children at all. But then there's a subsection of those people who will elect to be really annoying about it. We're tackling the livejournal community of cf_hardcore, a group of charisma-challenged individuals who feel they are constantly being persecuted by breeders. This week on The F Plus, we're finding new compound words to use with "crotch".

The multiple award winning screenwriter Billy Wilder once said "Don't be too clever for an audience. Make it obvious. Make the subtitles obvious also." To that end, I think Mr. Wilder would applaud the fanfiction writers who we've profiled for this episode. We have Resident Evil and CSI screenplays featuring characters who actually speak their own stage direction along with the dialogue. And after that? A Star Wars crossover you probably weren't expecting. This week on The F Plus, dialogue won't be coming naturally.

Despite various expensive websites strongly promoting their "social" aspects, the fact remains that internet forums are a fairly antisocial experience. You sign in with an alternate identity, type some words into a box, and hope that other people might do the same in response. We visited alonelylife.com, where forum users kvetch about their problems meeting people, chime enthusiastically about how much better their e-friends are, and trade terrible poetry, despite having never learned how a haiku actually works. This week on The F Plus, seven will be the loneliest number you could ever do.

With all of the various sexual proclivities which the internet has allowed us to examine, it's sometimes easy to forget that there were actually perverts writing perverted things long before the internet was even invented. Thing is, you had to be a notable French Rensaissance writer or Latin poet for anyone to even pay attention. Well, in an effort to bring some classiness to the podcast, we'll be reading selected works from Catullus, François Rabelais, and James Joyce, and see how they compare to The Modern Weirdo. This week on the F Plus, it's gonna be like a classical literature class with a really creepy professor.

People say that most human beings only use ten percent of their brains. The thing is, people who say that are lying to you. I mean, we have MRIs. All that glowing red stuff? That's the brain working. It's reminding you to breathe, remembering song lyrics, or in the cases of these subjects - making up a bunch of new age hippie nonsense. This week, it's psychic energy and hypnotism, and everything about it is as silly as you'd expect.

Outside the walls of your apartment lie complications that are difficult and confusing. What will traffic be like on the way to work? If I go to the restaurant I like, will I get the awful waitress who never remembers my drink order? Why is my son failing math? These may seem like different problems, but in fact they have the same cause and the same solution. DEMONS DID IT. Throw blood on things. This week, The F Plus looks at people tormented by demons, and wonders how often they wash the floors.

Welcome to the exciting world of the ANIMATION COMMUNITY! A land of milk, honey, and nasally whines about the artistic merits of Quick Draw McGraw! Did you know that cartoons are the Greatest American Artform? Well, they would be, if studios would spend more time worrying about the needs of storyboard artists, and less time foolishly assuming that children are a good audience for this sort of high-brow expressionism. This week, The F Plus explores the world of overly-nostalgic manchildren, and learn that some of them aren't John K..

When John's unavailable, Boots can't talk, and Lemon's internet dies, should the remaining ridiculists record an episode anyway? That's for you to decide! This episode we're discussing dragons, unicorns, flux capacitors, and light sabres. There's also a lot of talk about the Avatar Fleshlight, even though Boots edited that part out since it's just people looking at a picture.

This episode of The F Plus is all stuff you've given to us. We start out with the psychotic racial and gender views of MAI-TRANG THI NGUYEN (PRONOUNCED AS ‘WIN), who thinks she is God. Once that's done, we have some fun with some Star Trek slash, take some of the best nuggets out of some of the worst fanfics, and learn a new way you can get cancer. This week, The F Plus looks directly into the face of GOD, and finds out she's a big slut.

Jesus! Are you back finally!? Yes we are and thank you very much for asking. The F Plus finally shambles out of its involuntary vacation to bring you unpleasantness you'll probably wish you never learned about. What is it this time? Frottage. Man-on-man, dong on dong frottage, the way that it was intended, at least from one very crazy person's perspective. This week, The F Plus brings you content you should plug your nose for.

Pitchfork Media, often referred to as either "tastemakers" or "douchenozzles", depending on the source, have done the impossible: They have built a successful business, relying almost entirely on indulgent record reviews. And inarguably, the man responsible for the most eye-meltingly pompous reviews has been the focus of tonite's episode: Brent DiCrescenzo. This is a man who was actually dismissed from Pitchfork for the content of his record reviews, a man who wrote a Beastie Boys record review that Pitchfork actually had to print a retraction for. Clearly, he is F Plus material.

A City Pages Certified A-List Event! Bunnybread: Sliding Into Home by Kendra Wilkinson Lemon: The Day I Shot Cupid by Jennifer Love Hewitt Boots Raingear: The Ice Opinion by Ice T Portaxx: Confessions of an Heiress by Paris Hilton bumpgrrl: Junior by Macaulay Culkin

The live shenanigans continue, louder and drunker than before! STOG: Behind The Bell by Dustin Diamond John Toast: The Way Of The Master by Kirk Cameron Jack Chick: Wild by Fabio Jimmyfranks: The Man With The Gold by Mr. T Lemon: 60 Years Of Wit And Wisdom by Andy Rooney

With an registered userbase of over 500 million, Facebook has not been hindered much by niggling security concerns. Enter YourOpenBook. A site which, like Google, searches through all public profiles for people talking about the pressing news of the day, like their uninformed political opinions or details of who is cheating on them now. This week, The F Plus will make you doublecheck your security settings.

With a two-party system, and an entrenched media bias favoring the status quo, often it is difficult for less established candidates to have their views heard. As a duty to the country more than half of call home, The F Plus attempts to correct this oversight, and reads the words as written by three overlooked candidates for political office: A fundamentalist libertarian, a man with his own religion, and Basil Marceaux: A man who, even by F Plus standards, is completely unclassifiable. This week, we go way beyond the beltway, and start to wish more people used soap.

Back in 2010, we had a bunch of shorts up in the feed, all of which were accompanied with a plug for the first F Plus Live. Then when we switched the site over, those files were taken out of the feed. Well, Djeser was kind enough to stitch all these shorts together with some music, so now you can listen to the Gucci Mane Race War just like when Ke$ha was still a thing. Oh, the progress we've made! SHORTS INCLUDED: Gucci Man Race War This six minute short explores the curious case of a race war breaking out on YouTube just from people watching the video for Gucci Mane's song Lemonade. Here Come The Metalheads This fourteen minute episode has our ridiculists taking on the YouTube comments comments for a video of Metallica's Enter Sandman. Let's Settle This Religion Thing In nearly 20 minutes, we're going to try to solve the question of whether or not God exists. My Grey Baby This woman thinks she has been impregnated by a grey. Is she right? Yeah, probably. Sybil At The Movies In this thirty minute episode, we're going to read the opinions of a man who is not in control of his mental faculties, and ends up writing strange essays instead.

With six million registered members, Netflix has become a dominant force in the entertainment industry. In fact, the recommendations given to you each time you sign in to the Netflix home page is crafted that way by what Netflix considers to be your peers - faceless people who have some sort of opinion about the movie in question. This episode, we plan to find the next Harry Knowles... and then mock him for being fat and stupid.

If spending sixteen hours a day on the internet is the reason why you can't get a date, you can solve your problem by stepping away from the computer every once in a while and having a real, human, engaging conversation with someone you find attractive and personable. But of course, you're not going to do that, and that's why dating sites exist. This week, the F Plus puts on those floppy hats and goes angling in PlentyOfFish.Com, the fact that it doesn't charge means we don't have to pay to make fun of it.

The internet isn't only a place for for shut-ins to discuss their fetishes. It's also a place where self-aggrandizing attention sluts ceaselessly bludgeon the public with their own material in a transparent and shameless grab for attention. And as podcast providers, The F Plus is sympathetic to such naked egotism, but what happens if your band sucks? This week, we're taking on the music site Review Rinse Repeat, which not only reviews bands, but also lets unsigned bands explain how different and special they all are.

So as it turns out, we were prevented from releasing the hackneyed Christmas Episode, and so instead are releasing the slightly less hackneyed Christmas In July Episode. This one focuses on the ire that Christians feel when they walk into a store and see the most offensive phrase in the English lexicon: Happy Holidays. Before we started doing The F Plus, we all had no idea that White Privilege could have so many different voices.

Since 1998, throngs of internet users have come to AllRecipes.Com to learn how to make the meals they've been dreaming of, and share recipes of their own. It's a site visited by literally millions of people, including clinically depressed housewives and lifelong bachelors with erectile dysfunction. What do these people like to feed themselves? Really horrific things. This episode, The F Plus has the sodium levels of the South China Sea.

It's been said that communication is key to a healthy relationship. It's also been said that when your sex life cools, lovers should watch pornographic films together. But what if your primary relationship is with pornography itself? Well, if communication is key, that means you should talk about it. All the time. And you should talk about it on internet message boards with other people who are into pornography just as much as you are. This week, The F Plus examines the meaning of "Too Much Of A Good Thing"

This is a short horror script by a currently undiscovered screenwriter named Chris Keaton which we've decided to read. Hopefully this will catapult Mr. Keaton to the Hollywood success that he so clearly deserves.

The internet is awash with the peculiar fetishes of peculiar people. Often times, these fetish websites will host photo and video of the behavior being performed for the amusement of its visitors. But what happens when a group of people has a fetish about being force fed helium until they turn into a giant sphere, and are then popped? Well, presumably they have some difficulties in their lives.

With the American economy in a recession and the unemployment rate maintaining at around 10%, a number of American citizens are looking for people to blame for these problems. And there are some who place the blame squarely on Mexican immigrants. Unsurprisingly, these are the same people who blame Mexican immigrants for everything else bad that ever happens to them. We managed to record this podcast without making a single Lou Dobbs joke.

The internet can, depending on the topic and the website, be an extraordinarily useful source of information. All over the world, people are using the internet for peer reviewed research and edification on a wide variety of topics, both scientific and cultural. And then there's sites like Yahoo! Answers, where dumb people ask dumb questions and then other dumb people answer them with dumbness.

Part two of the Juggalo podcast continues with the Topix thread on the subject of Slipknot sucking. After that, it's off to the Juggalo dating site, to meet the founder and learn about what he's looking for in a new companion. Finally, ICP fanfiction, where the two clowns die and then meet some anime characters.

Juggalos are a group of people who dress up in face paint and carry plastic hatchets because they're really into a white rap group who does just that. Making fun of juggalos on the other hand is so commonplace that even Saturday Night Live is doing it now. But you're clearly mistaken if you think that's going to keep us away. This is an episode of juggalos describing themselves in their own words, and clearly it won't make any sense.

On the internet, there's a whole lot of people writing poetry, which begs the question: Is any of it any good? Probably. But it's not like we're doing this to find people with talent. For our twentieth episode, we present to you a variety of poems from a variety of sources about a variety of topics. The commonality here is that none of these have any respect for meter or dignity.

To start this episode off, we took a look at the popular television show Mythbusters, or to be more specific: Fans of Mythbusters who have odd predilictions for things that happen on the show. Then we ended up getting distracted by one Mythbuster's fan comic strip called Conquistodogs. And finally, we read the twitter page of someone who likes The F Plus.

This episode, we take a brief but ever-insightful dip into the minds of teenagers. From rants about how parents don't understand, to indecipherable poetry about blood, to the simple impotent rage so timeless to the age group, we're about to get angsty all up in this bitch.

We're talking about the kind of romance that the powers that be in Hollywood just don't seem to focus on for some reason. Be it the Ruby 13, Teddy Babe, RSSD, or the popular Real Doll model, this episode we're talking about fuck dolls, and the men who love them. According to them, fuck doll enthusiasts are the most romantic people in the world, and you're about to hear the love.

To tide you over until the next recording hits the digital airwaves, here's two outtakes from Episode 14: A Conservative Estimate. What we have is two subjects on the topic of homosexuality, as explained by Conservapedia. And really, who knows more about the gay lifestyle than a group of reactionary fundamentalists? Well, pretty much everyone, I suppose.

This week, we look at the concept of Video Games as Art from several different angles. First, we take a trip to the forums of The Escapist, where members get awards for watching cartoons and talk about what kind of assault rifle is the sexiest. If we are to believe their hype, these are the new game consumers, so what do they have to say? Secondly, we look at one of the oldest philosophical arguments in history, but through the eyes of a video game fan. Then finally, we get to the content itself, and read lines directly out of Need For Speed Underground 2, just to see the kind of art these video games have

It shouldn't be surprising for you to learn that there's groups of people who believe they've been abducted by aliens. Nor should it be surprising to learn that people have elaborate theories about aliens colonizing earth and playing an active role in our history and religion. But how about people that have communicated with digital monsters that exist inside of a Japanese cartoon? Couple all of this with spelling that is uniformly atrocious, and we've got ourselves a podcast.

If there's one thing that Conservatives, as a whole, have decided about the internet, it's that it has a liberal bias. YouTube has femmy kids crying about Britney Spears, so conservatives created GodTube. Google News feeds talk about American casualties in Iraq, so conservatives created The Free Republic. And Wikipedia says that Iran Contra happened, Nixon was impeached, and G. Gordon Liddy went to prison, so conservatives created Conservapedia. This is a site which is not so much meant to inform the publc (rather the opposite on a number of occasions), but is meant to reenforce stereotypes and fuel agendas. And it is delightfully insane.

Japanese cartoons and videogames have popularized the idea that standing still and screaming somehow allows you to conjure glowing balls of energy to be used for combative purposes. Unsurprisingly, Otaku have taken this belief as gospel and make assurances that chi balls are a valid form of martial arts training. These are their badly spelled stories.

Otherkin is a word used to describe a group of people who believe that, in addition to being human, they also have the soul of some other creature, which is typically a dragon, a werewolf, or some other fictitious beast. For some reason, nobody ever believes they have the soul of a three-toed sloth inside of them, even though that seems the most appropriate.

While Lemon takes a week off from the F Plus podcast, the rest of the group soldiers on with readings of Craigslist ads. Ladies, have you been looking for a man who will sodomize you while you play Super Mario Brothers? Gentlemen, are you looking for a woman to masturbate inside her while you watch hentai cartoons? All of this, and more. Can you believe it's free?

Deviating ever so slightly from our typical podcast formula, this is a dramatic reading of two different pieces of Transformers fanfiction. One is called Ravage 3 Bodies Evolution, and the other is called Dinobot's Old Technology. Our readers play various roles, and bring the thing to you in the style of a radio drama, which no doubt was the intent of the authors.

Twilight, as you are no doubt aware, is a poorly written series of books. Which has since become a poorly written series of movies. And yet, despite the undeniable crapulence of the material, there are throngs of people devoted to the love story of a elderly vampire and his teenage love interest who he feels like killing. What the hell, you ask? So do we! Let's examine the Twilight fans together, shall we?

An outtake from episode seven, this one was just too precious to not give to you immediately. A straight man from Oslo goes to gay bar to demonstrate his pick-up routines. Profound madness ensues.

This week, we read the work of pick up artists and the seduction community, a thing made popular by Mystery and other likeminded douchebags with stupid hats. Using their methods (as well as a generous amount of acronyms) you too can learn how to hate women almost as much as you hate yourself.

Ever feel like there's a global conspiracy of random strangers who exist solely to harass, annoy, belabor, and confuse you. If you don't have schizophrenic tendancies, you probably answered no. But there's groups out there who insist that the conspiracy exists, and the only way to combat it is with crazy.

This week, The F Plus aims to go big, AS BIG AS POSSIBLE. Our readers tackle the work of food fetishists, who derive sexual pleasure from overeating.

Everyone needs a support system. And this week, we've mined the the profiles and forums of an internet support group, in order to help you through any troubling times.

We're coming off our previous fetishist episode with an episode of self-flagellating morality. This episode features motivation and tips from people angry that other people are having more fun than they are.

This time we're getting a little sexy. Hear about fetishes you didn't know existed, and would probably prefer to be ignorant of.

For the pilot, our readers tackle notes from an alternative high school in the midwest.