Oh No! Lit Class

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the 'cast, Megan and RJ had lost it at last. Answering listener questions about not naming children, which authors to date, and which authors they'd choose to punch authors they hate. Questions about cats, libraries, and more became arguing about maritime law and weird porn. And if you're feeling the year-end blues, just remember that Zora Neale Hurston pegged Langston Hughes.

We'll just get this out of the way right here: No, we haven't watched season 2 of The Mandalorian. Yes, we know his name is Grogu. Now. After calling him Gorgu 500 times. Oops. Hey, it's all part of falling down the rabbit hole with Alice In Wonderland by Probable Pervert Lewis Caroll. Featuring: Unlocking the mystery of why all Alice in Wonderland adaptations are Like That™, learning upsetting penguin facts, and...actually that's pretty much it.

This Thanksgiving, be thankful your significant other doesn't expect you to pull a Virginia Woolf and write them a stealth love letter in the form of the celebrated and experimental genderbending novel, Orlando: A Biography, like Woolf did for her girlfriend. Instead of just, y'know, getting them a gift card to The Cheesecake Factory. Again. Christ, Todd, get it together.

Do you hear the people sing? Megan and RJ sure do as they get all kinds of Les Miserables on this special Patreon-request episode. Learn why no matter what time it is, it's always Time For Victor Hugo's Opinion, pro Les Mis speedrunner strats, the dark, horny truth behind the numbers 24601, and the Definitive Top Ranked Javert Drownings.

So...there's an acclaimed spooky Gothic novel called Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier and there's a new original movie on Netflix also called Rebecca and, in theory, this episode is about that, and NOT Paul Hollywood, evil housekeepers that sound like Wario, or James Bond devouring a mansion. In theory. Happy Halloween everybody!

Listener beware, you're in for a scare, Megan and RJ are here to give you Goosebumps! Learn all about RL Stine, the man behind the bumps, plus: Hairy Adoption Alternatives, "What's the Deal with Kids and Ventriloquism?", and the oral history of Goosebumps Live On Stage. Yup.

"Christine, I am The Angel of Music, and you must never touch my mask...seriously, have you ever taken a puck to the face unprotected? Brutal." It's Halloween, and you know what that means: Spooky ghosts, haunted opera houses, horny Frenchmen, and Emilio Estevez menacingly whispering things about ducks and/or hockey. It's Gaston Leroux's The Phantom of the Opera! I think!

In this episode, Megan and RJ ask: What killed John Keats, arguably the softest of the Softboi Romantic poets? Lord Byron and Percy Shelley blame mean reviews, but we're *pretty* sure it was the tuberculosis. Probably. See also: Poems About Things, discussions on whether or not peen-cursing equals female empowerment, the inherent sexiness of Grecian Urns, and Extremely Specific Burial Requests With RJ.

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL??? By which we mean a book about football. Specifically, Friday Night Lights, journalist H.G. Bissinger's journey to Odessa, Texas, a town so obsessed with its high school football team it was willing to sacrifice grades, hopes, dreams, mental wellbeing, and yes, a testicle here or there. RJ scores a touchdown in the blogosphere, while Megan tries out some new catchphrases.

Life has thrown a lot at Megan and RJ lately, and so instead of a normal episode, they're going to explain lit theory, because that's easier somehow? Thrill as Megan threatens long-dead literary critics with bodily harm, shrug as RJ threatens to suck Bigfoot's ween before briefly becoming possessed by a competent theory professor, and tremble as we are all forced to experience Oh My F@cking God Philosophy Class, if only for a few minutes.

It's a real Throwback Thursday of an episode: Shakespeare! Vin Diesel reminding us of the importance of family! Rampant horniness! (Wait, that's just Shakespeare again) Off-key singing! Incorrect information regarding dairy products! Rambling tangents about 90s movies! So hop in your Death Zamboni and let's go, for there never was a story of more woe than RJ's new segment on Juliet and her Gnomeo.

Sure, he was born about 14 years after Hamilton died but our point still stands. This episode marks an ON!LC first as we cover a memoir: The Narrative Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave. Highlights include: Frederick Douglass Is Smarter Than Everyone, the inherent stupidity of displaying the flag of a war you lost, and where are The Good Historical Brad Pitts? RJ finds his financial forerunner and Megan might be just as bad as Epic Rap Battles Of History.

In this episode, we cover author Witi Ihimaera and his culturally influential novel, Whale Rider, and learn the dangers of not properly appreciating your great-grandchildren, the (continuing) fine art of mascot-naming, the inherent awesomeness of old ladies, and the objective categorization of Miami Dolphins coaches...And yes, RJ makes whale noises.

In an episode that will go down in history alongside Ethan Frome and Of Mice and Men as "wow, that sure went off the rails fast," podcasting maniac and aspiring world-record-holder Scottye Moore joins us to cover Tennessee Williams's play, The Glass Menagerie, and things quickly dissolve into John Malkovich-impersonating, Nelly-singing, symbolism-screaming, gay-deceiving, screen-projecting chaos. Listen to Scottye's 500 other shows at https://www.aloadofpurebs.com/ Or read his mad rantings at https://twitter.com/scottyemo

The Odyssey aka Part 2 of Homer's epic poetic duo features what is perhaps the worst and also most horny travelogue of the ancient world as Odysseus battles and bangs his way home while Athena, arguably, does all the real work. Meanwhile, Megan and RJ are both tempted by siren songs: 1980s anime and Brad Pitt. Donate to the Black Lives Matter Global Network: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/ms_blm_homepage_2019

Get it? Because Achilles has zero chill? Megan and RJ also find themselves lacking chill as they attempt to navigate the first of Homer's epic poem duology, The Iliad, starting with the important question: Just what does it mean to be 10-Year War Hot? RJ defends fictional historical sites, Megan gets lost in the mythological sauce, and instead of chasing waterfalls, we learn to stab the rivers and lakes that we're used to.

There's no getting around it, this episode on Kurt Vonnegut's seminal novel, Slaughterhouse-Five, is big. A big, meaty episode all about time, space, war, trauma, and also, for absolutely no reason at all, French philosopher Michel Foucault's weird bald head. Taking the trip to Tralfamadore with Megan and RJ is Rob Kristoffersen of the podcast Our Strange Skies, who doesn't really help so much as talk about finger-puppets, nu-metal, and winning the wang lotto. So it goes. Listen to Rob talk UFOs at https://www.ourstrangeskies.com/

What do Iowa tourism slogans, college mascots, Mel Gibson movie corrections, Miami Dolphins draft options, and institutionalized racism all have in common? Probably more than you think but mainly they're all things we end up somehow talking about in the course of our episode on Sandra Cisnero's contemporary YA classic, The House on Mango Street. Hey, at least we managed not to talk about Pitbull for once.

If we could turn back time, we'd probably make Cher less of a major cornerstone on this episode about Henry James's spooky novella The Turn of The Screw but it's too late for that now! RJ makes his spectacular return in an episode rife with song titles, interrupting trains, cat-chewing, ESPN-checking, and occasionally actually talking about the book. We're back, and we got you, babe.

We're sitting at the razor's edge of madness as Matt Johnston aka The Narcissist Cookbook joins Megan to share his feelings on HBO's adaptation of the His Dark Materials novel series, which are that it sucks so bad. Megan Rambles About Books They Read Years Ago, we appreciate The Princess Bride, Matt defends World War Z, and we learn that maybe we're all a little bit naked sometimes. In front of our neighbors, specifically.  

Check out The Narcissist Cookbook's music, merch, and more at https://thenarcissistcookbook.bandcamp.com/

Or annoy him personally at @NarcissistCook on twitter

March may be winding down but the madness continues with Paul Csomo, host of the amazing animal podcast Varmints! The exclamation point is part of the show's title but also indicative of the level of excitement you should have as Megan and Paul discuss book-huffers, defacers, skippers, and other such weirdsies. Also, we dunk on RJ a whole bunch. Sorry, bud.  

Listen to Paul (and his co-host Donna) at https://varmints.podbean.com/

or just Paul at https://anchor.fm/paul-csomo

Witcher? I hardly know her! March Mini Madness continues as Megan is given a lesson in Witcher Literature (Witcherature) by Joe Raspolich, co-host of Life, Death, and Taxonomy.  Together they'll play guessing games, critique Witcher world fashion, contemplate destiny, mispronounce even more character names than the last episode, and fall in love with foul-mouthed parrots and the sheer charisma of an ass you can toss a coin to your witcher off of.

Listen to Joe (and his co-host Carlos) at  http://ldtaxonomy.com/

Our first entry into Miniaturized Madness in March is with Webby-nominated(!) Kate Wallinga, host of Ignorance Was Bliss and co-host of LifeWorld. Megan and Kate ostensibly discuss the pointless pedantry of book-shaming someone for not having read something but quickly veer off into Harry Potter character mispronouncing, author call-outs, and So You've Accidentally Written Something Problematic: A Guide. Also, we take away some birthdays, because we deserve them and JK Rowling doesn't. 

Hear Kate as a guest on a regular ON!LC at http://bit.ly/ONLCep62

 Listen to Kate at https://iwbpodcast.com/ and   https://anchor.fm/lifeworld

RJ has officially left ON!LC HQ and Megan is totally handling it super well (he's fine, it's fine, we're fine). Until your favorite book idiots are reunited, please enjoy this retrospective of some of our greatest hits and relive the singing, screeching, shaming, and sex jokes that make our show the Internet's #1 Podcast for Literature and Penile Humours.

We're celebrating our 3rd birthday with Big Willy Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing, and everyone's* invited! Ready your "no" face to learn why vicious sarcasm is the truest love language, how to give off Big Thursday Energy, the benefits of faking your death, and the importance of taking your Geritol. *Mark Rylance is not invited.

While we may be more equipped to talk about Sesame Street, this episode we're covering If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin. Join us on a journey through a lyrical, tragic, beautiful story as we learn about the 90s band Live, just what kicks are on Route 66, and the art of the stamp biography. RJ threatens a fetus and Megan says "this is really interesting" 10,000 times.

Megan and RJ are prancing and dancing their way into 2020 like a regular pair of Jellicle cats as they take on TS Eliot and his wildly disparate body of work, including poems of fragmented existential Modernist despair and also itty bitty kitty-cats. Also: Meeting our Simpsons and Star Wars quotes, daring to eat peaches, getting distracted by postmodernism and Kevin Bacon...again.

Megan and RJ attempt to atone for their episode 69-related sins with a dose of wholesome holiday cheer via ETA Hoffmann's classic Christmas tale, The Nutcracker! Wherein a potentially insane clockmaker refuses to help a small girl who's being extorted by a mouse with seven heads! Megan is confused by ballet, RJ does some exceptional word-mangling, and we make every possible "nut" joke in existence. From the midroll: ohnolitclass.threadless.com litographs.com @NarcissistCook

Ok, for real this time: E.L. James and her Twilight Businessman BDSM fan fiction are here and Megan and RJ are going to do everything in their power to make it possibly even worse than it already was. Featuring: Conspiracy theories, butt-whipping, bold creative writing choices, spicy meatballs, live nude Shakespearian drama, and more. Holy cow indeed.

It's here. Episode 69. Which means it's time to gird your loins and put on your DJs. That's right, your Dom Jeans. Welcome to 50 Shades of Grey, Happy Thanksgiving, and also we're very sorry.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and we took the one that led to a dingdong joke, and that has made all the difference. It's time for some Robert Frost! RJ gets nihilistic about roads and salad, Megan thinks about death, and Robert Frost attempts to solve Communism with poetry. Also featured: boneless donuts, The Road Not Taken: The Remix, and why snow is an illegal immigrant.

In this episode, we learn that anything can happen on Halloween, including vampire lesbians as we read Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu's gothic, sapphic novella, Carmilla (or Mircalla, or Millarca...or Clam Rail). Along the way, we'll revisit the acronym RJ refuses to let go of, learn about moon magic, what in the hell a schloss is, and listen to Megan be an absolute Numbers Idiot. Happy Halloween!

Who's that Pokemon? It's Sherlock Holmes! It makes sense in context! We continue our Halloween celebration by dipping our toes into the deep, dark depths of the world of Sherlock Holmes and his sexy lamp, John Watson with The Hound of the Baskervilles! Hone those deduction skills with Victorian negging, Seinfeld impressioning, bog experiencing, and the scariest thing of all: college financial planning!

It's the Season of Spooks and Scares and we're starting with Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House, with the help of Moxie, host of Your Brain on Facts, who’s just FULL of facts...mostly about how best to see Liam Neeson's ween. Master the art of self-haunting, discover your Useless Psychic Gifts, and catch up on the hottest teen slang as we learn that sometimes the real ghosts are the kinks we shamed along the way. Listen to more Moxie at http://yourbrainonfacts.com/

Like a candy bar offered to you by a creepy British man, sink your teeth into this episode as we cover another writer still kickin’ it with the modern classic, Atonement, where we learn how a young girl's lies can ruin the lives of her loved ones but score her a sweet book deal. Also featured: Cat ASMR, being horny on main for Keira Knightley, and Emotions With RJ.

What, two episode drops in one day? And one of them is a pilot for a potential series where RJ actually TEACHES YOU THINGS? Wild. That's right, There's a new ON!LC in town, and this one's all about law, and therefore all RJ. This episode serves as an introduction to RJ's new solo miniseries, so enjoy learning about the constitution, the Supreme Court, and the horse it rode in on.

From the Patreon-only vault: Megan, RJ, and Jared aka Best Day, huddle in Jared's closet around his terrible Snowball mic to discuss Japanese video games based on Tom Sawyer, Dracula, and the works of H.P. Lovecraft. Learn about adorable vampires, significantly less adorable racism, the origins of Rihanna Belmont, and the sanity-restoring power of hotels.

Your favorite wildly unqualified hosts are back and have completely forgotten how to podcast! Join Megan and RJ as they once again venture onto the literary high seas with Treasure Island, where we learn that the real treasure is the dads you met along the way. Also featured: pirate accents, theoretical muppet sex, and about 10 seconds of literary theory that dissolves into memes. WE'RE BACK BABY!

Screw books! We're a True Crime podcast now! Megan and RJ are joined by Kate, host of the podcast Ignorance Was Bliss to get all up in Truman Capote's genre-birthing "nonfiction" book, In Cold Blood. Together we'll objectify nuns, workshop Kansas tourism slogans, play "Capote or Pitbull?", and learn why murderers are often really, really dumb. Just like, so unbelievably stupid, you guys. Listen to Kate's show at https://iwbpodcast.com/

Another special request episode takes back down that old YA road to Paul Zindel's novel, Pardon Me, You're Stepping On My Eyeball. Soak in that good good 1970s teenage disillusionment while RJ forgets who wrote Catcher in the Rye, gives the graduation speech no one asked for, and just generally drives Megan to the brink of madness.

We're back for more Big Willy, this time taking a look at Othello, the classic tale of tragedy, betrayal, and people flat-out refusing to JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER OH MY GOD. We discover that Iago is not a parrot, but do the parrot voice anyway, learn the dangers of being on #IslandTime, have a real hard time saying "Brabantio" and make that one stupid Spaceship Earth joke AGAIN, because we're basic.

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wonder why we keep talking about Star Wars as we recount Kazuo Ishiguro's acclaimed classic, The Remains of The Day, the most frustratingly captivating novel about a butler who does not have sex. We revisit being Too British For Feelings, give up on our jazz dreams, and remember that we're all complicit in war crimes. And also nude John Cleese. We're all complicit in that too.

Take a trip down memory lane to Little Golden Book Land as we take advantage of a mysterious delivery to revisit such greats as The Poky Little Puppy and Tootle! Learn about LGB's humble beginnings, how Scuffy the Tugboat can defeat Thanos, and why the illustrations are not as cute as you remember. We fancast a hip new Little Golden Movie, try not to sexualize trains, and achieve our dreams at zombo.com

Oh Lord do we ever feel it coming as we dive back into the weird, wonderful, nearly constantly horny world of poetry with E.E. Cummings (and learn why we definitely wrote his name properly here). RJ remembers the 90s, Megan defends Avante Garde art against good sense, and we all learn that real love is less about marriage and more about being true to your farts.

We step through CS Lewis's titular wardrobe into Narnia with Matt Johnston aka The Narcissist Cookbook to take a story of magical lands and good vs evil that's been dear to him since childhood and just ruin it. Just really leave it in shambles. Highlights include the logistics of lion circumcision, candy worth betraying your family for, founding the Susan Pevensie Appreciation Club, and the Secret Origins of RJ.

Listen to Matt as The Narcissist Cookbook on
Bandcamp: http://bit.ly/2FIRfFo
Facebook: http://bit.ly/2TOoP1J
Youtube video for the featured song, "Courtney:" http://bit.ly/2FOJQ8K

Composition board game Kickstarter: https://bit.ly/2Fz2PnB

We're joined by author, comic writer, and Dickens-hating enthusiast BJ Mendelson as we read A Tale of Two Cities and learn that, while the revolution may not be televised, it WILL be knit into a sweater. Discover just how Batman and the WWE figure into the literary canon while BJ attacks Dickens for being an asshole, RJ attacks Napolean for being short, and Megan attacks the French language by attempting to speak it at all.

Follow BJ on twitter @BJMendelson or on his site at https://bjmendelson.com/

Give us your money plz at https://www.patreon.com/OhNoLitClass

The authors are only mostly dead in this special request episode that takes us to the sci-fi space futures of "Bloodchild" by Octavia Butler and "Sandkings" by George RR Martin. Learn the do's and don'ts of exotic (occasionally human) pet ownership as Megan gets a phobia of bugs and novel-related nomenclature while RJ talks like the animals and enlists in the #StugotzArmy

Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/OhNoLitClass

Start your podcast on Simplecast: http://refer.smplc.st/OhNoLitClass

We're talking Mark Twain and super excited to be rolling down the Mississippi River with literary rhyme-master and self-professed Huck Finn fanboy MC Lars! Lars does his best to teach Megan and RJ a thing as we discuss the validity of lucky chest hair, Mark Twain The Shakespeare Truther, why Tom Sawyer is a terrifying sociopath, and awkwardly cross the minefield of the novel's racial controversies as only three white people can.

Check out MC Lars at @mclars on twitter and at http://mclars.com/

Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/OhNoLitClass

Start your podcast on Simplecast: http://refer.smplc.st/OhNoLitClass

We're celebrating TWO YEARS of unbridled book nonsense with an ON!LC first: getting someone who actually knows what the hell they're talking about to help us out. Dr. Carla Maria Thomas lends her Olde English expertise as we take on Beowulf, the epic poem about Live Nude Monster Fights. Megan kinkshames Neil Gaiman, RJ gets titillated over Tom Brady, and Carla teaches us how to properly pronounce words, thank God.

Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/OhNoLitClass

Start your podcast on Simplecast: http://refer.smplc.st/OhNoLitClass

Grab your lyre, warm up those vocal cords and get ready to head to Hades because it's time to get mythological, baby! We're tackling the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, a tale of lovers doomed by a failure to follow instructions that is almost literally as old as time. Along the way, we'll find out whether Cardi B. can bring your wife back to life and if Plato did indeed have that good butt tho. Megan uses the episode as an excuse to gush over the musical Hadestown, while RJ plans several very confusing movies.

Happy New Year! ON!LC is back in a big way as Reid Messerschmidt of The Irrationally Exuberant Podcast joins Megan and RJ to make the case for Edith Wharton's novel Ethan Frome, the classic tale of the worst winter-sports-related suicide pact ever. Along the way, we'll ponder the peculiarities of pickle dishes, learn some Horse Facts, and understand what it means to be horny inside your heart. Grab a sled, take your pants off, and watch out for your cousin.

Listen to more Reid at:

http://theirrationallyexuberant.com/

http://reidgetsmetal.blubrry.net/

What better way to get ready to ring in 2019 by grabbing 2018 by the balls and flinging it as far away as possible with another bonus minisode from the ON!LC vault? ...This metaphor may have gotten away from us. In this episode, Megan has a petty pet peeve over famous miscontextualized phrases from literature and people's habits of getting them tattooed on their bodies. Meanwhile, RJ embraces the inherent meaninglessness of the universe, and we learn that the person meant to watch the watchmen is supposed to be keeping them from having sex with someone's wife...yup.

Merry Christmas! Dive under the Christmas tree (that's how that works, right?) and unwrap this previously Patreon-exclusive minisode where guest Matt Hocker, surrealist comedian, Strange Human, and host of the appropriately-titled Matt Hocker Show, drops in to provide some startlingly deep thoughts on the evolution of language, exposing Megan as a total dingbat. Postmodernism rears its ugly head again as we talk about fanfiction, how all words are made-up words, and also some very good ice cream.

You can check out Matt's Audio Eric Andre Experience at: http://thematthockershow.com/

and follow him on twitter @MattHockerShow

In this massive final episode of 2018, all your burning questions will be answered, like what piece of classic literature needs to be made into a Muppet movie? Which Bronte sister could you beat in a fistfight? Was Helen Keller an asshole? And where are all these trains coming from? You'll also learn how to sort out your student loans, understand French literary theory, and pull sweet professorial pranks. Happy Holidays and #PrayForRJ

Smash that emergency Shakespeare button and keep your arms and legs inside the podcast for an appropriately semi-lucid episode on A Midsummer Night's Dream! Learn all about Shakespeare's famed comedy about horny idiots in the woods...that sat around in obscurity for like 200 years. Because Puritans. RJ makes the case against parties, Megan makes enemies of theater kids everywhere, and we discover what timeless Christmas film was inspired by this play about magical boning.

On this episode, we take a look at some positively lilliputian ladies in Louisa May Alcott's classic coming-of-age novel, Little Women and learn why the Civil War is basically just the first Pokemon movie, how true Transcendentalism is hitting Ralph Waldo Emerson up for cash, and why Wrongfully Accused is an underrated classic. Megan advocates sibling murder, RJ examines the financial merits of cult life, and we all say "Awwww" a bunch.

What's that in your candy bucket? Is it a bonus week of spooks and scares just in time for Halloween?! Join us and learn why A Rose for Emily is less about The Bachelor and more about oblivious townsfolk and tax evasion, while The October Game teaches you how to throw the perfect Halloween party. We do some voices, struggle with some songs, and invent what will surely become ONLC's most beloved character ever.

Gird your gourds for more Halloween goodness as we begin our short story spookstravaganza! RJ discusses feminism and unfortunate interior decorating in The Yellow Wallpaper, and Megan explores the Legend of Sleepy Hollow and how being a jerk can get you ghost-murdered. Or regular murdered. It's unclear. Meanwhile, Rhode Island doubles down on racist authors and we all learn the importance of going "First!"

It's the most wonderful tiiiiime of the year! Halloween! Obviously. On this spine-tingling episode, Megan and RJ take a trip down Queer Street to examine The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde! Witness the classic terrors of inheritance law, Victorian moral hypocrisy, and Vague, Unspecified Crime! Learn the finer points of forcing your child to be a lighthouse engineer, why being a good actor can make you a murder suspect, and how to give your nurse the worst nickname ever.

Megan and RJ take Agatha Christie's sinister choo-choo train to her classic mystery novel, Murder on the Orient Express. Along for the ride is Jess, a high school English teacher and certified Christie-head. We learn that murder is the secret to getting kids to read more, the importance of a well-groomed mustache, and how Christie once pulled a Walter White. Meanwhile, Megan struggles to say a single character name correctly, RJ is jealous that he can't hang ten, and Jess initiates a blood feud with celebrated actor and director Kenneth Branagh.

On this episode, we hold our breath to dive down deep into the briny depths of Jules Verne’s adventure classic, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea! Learn the downsides of owning your own island, the majesty of differently-abled manatees, and Captain Nemo’s step-by-step guide on how to be the most unbelievably extra person in the entire ocean. Megan yearns for action and adventure, while RJ mostly yearns for Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers.

Patreon: patreon.com/OhNoLitClass

Maybe he’s born with it, maybe it’s a cursed, magical painting. Join Megan and RJ as they return to the wonderful world of Oscar Wilde to appraise The Picture of Dorian Gray and learn the surprising source of inspiration for Wilde’s novel about the dangers of being eternally sexy. Meanwhile, RJ makes some startling literary connections and Megan podcasts from the inside of a bucket.

Patreon: patreon.com/OhNoLitClass
Store: teepublic.com/lic/ZcY8hXJbOB0

Join Megan, RJ, and Jared as we round out our journey through the Cthulhu-verse with The Shadow over Innsmouth, a tale of cursed villages, dark secrets, and mega-horny immortal fish people. Also discussed: Why good Lovecraft movies are hard to find, the difficulties of separating a pretty thoroughly racist man from the massive impact he’s had on horror, sci-fi, and fantasy, and how he gave his cat literally the worst name ever, oh my god.

Patreon: patreon.com/OhNoLitClass
Store: teepublic.com/lic/ZcY8hXJbOB0
Best Day’s Soundcloud: soundcloud.com/best-day

In this episode, Megan and RJ open up their feeble brain meats to the untold cosmic horrors of H.P. Lovecraft! With special guest and Old God aficionado, Jared aka Best Day, we heed the haunting, squishy call of Cthulhu and prepare for…Unnecessarily Complicated Language! Old-Timey Racism! Guys With Three Names! And So Many Narrative Framing Devices! It’s an episode so nice it had to be spliced (into two parts).

Patreon: patreon.com/OhNoLitClass
Store: teepublic.com/lic/ZcY8hXJbOB0
Best Day’s Soundcloud: soundcloud.com/best-day

In this free teaser of Study Breaks to come, ON!LC guest alum Monique McIntosh returns to teach Megan about a popular, unsurprisingly racist term used in classic horror fiction. We also cover zombie goats, the unfathomable terrors of both the alphabet and the ocean, and why sexual attraction to lions with ’90s boy band hair is definitely totally normal.

To listen to future Study Break bonus episodes every other Thursday (when there’s no new Oh No! Lit Class) subscribe to the $1 tier on our Patreon at patreon.com/OhNoLitClass

We’re inside, we’re outside, we’re every which way but the general direction of S.E. Hinton’s twitter as we tackle her classic teen coming-of-age novel, The Outsiders. Which isn’t gay. At all. What would even make you think that? Experience increasingly outlandish acronyms, the importance of both greasy hair and a good cry, and deeply ironic audio problems. Don’t listen for our sake…do it for Johnny.

Patreon: patreon.com/OhNoLitClass
Store: teepublic.com/lic/ZcY8hXJbOB0

Get ready for THE DRAMA as Megan and RJ journey to ghostly moors of Wuthering Heights! Learn why everyone who thinks this is a romantic love story is both Wrong and Bad, why you should avoid graveyard-adjacent drinking water, and how Gothic antihero Heathcliff and Rocky Balboa are basically the same guy. RJ continues his crusade against naming kids after yourself, Megan reveals a dark, Lifetime Movies-related secret, and we invoke Terrible and Ancient Memes.

Patreon: patreon.com/OhNoLitClass
Store: teepublic.com/lic/ZcY8hXJbOB0

What could go wrong in a book about bunnies? Plenty, if that book is Watership Down, a classic children’s novel that’s been traumatizing kids for nearly 50 years. Also traumatized is Chris Osborne of Play Comics, who joins us as we follow a band of bunnies on their epic quest for survival. Meanwhile, Megan relives childhood horrors, Chris learns a language, and RJ makes enough rabbit puns to constitute a war crime.

Chris’s show: playcomics.com
Chris’s Twitter: @playcomicscast

Patreon: patreon.com/OhNoLitClass
Store: teepublic.com/lic/ZcY8hXJbOB0

Oh Danny boy, the pipes are calling on this episode where we manage, despite our best efforts and potentially worst singing yet, to talk about the classic (sci-fi?) novel, Flowers for Algernon. Learn the importance of good branding, that the gross changes happening to your body are totally normal, and why being smart is a sucker’s game, with an added bonus of briefly coherent actual literary analysis.

Patreon: patreon.com/OhNoLitClass
Store: teepublic.com/lic/ZcY8hXJbOB0

In an episode that could best be described as “Steinbeck adjacent,” we engage in some heavy petting, bacon thieving, obscure reference-making, and banana-insinuating. We also learn all about Burgess Meredith, the rules of Being In Van Halen, briefly become Oh No! City Slickers, and oh uh, talk about Of Mice and Men…kinda. But it’s okay because we got sunshine in our pockets, and that sunshine might just be cocaine.

Patreon: patreon.com/OhNoLitClass
Store: teepublic.com/lic/ZcY8hXJbOB0

Get ready to #CatchTheseHands in the rye as your two favorite phonies set out to eviscerate Holden Caulfield, but mostly just feel bad for him. Learn about the distinguished fields of kosher cheese mongering and elevator pimping, go faith findin’ with JD, and listen as Megan challenges John Travolta to a fistfight and RJ commits multiple mouth crimes.

Patreon: patreon.com/OhNoLitClass
Store: teepublic.com/lic/ZcY8hXJbOB0

On this special episode, we take you on an intoxicated tour through the life, times, and wives of Ernest Hemingway, with a brief stopover at The Old Man and The Sea. Join us at the hottest spot north of Havana for this extra-long drunkstravaganza featuring: Gay marlins, Sandra Bullock, questionable surgery practices, baseball(?), and conquering nature with your peen.

Patreon: patreon.com/OhNoLitClass
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RJ takes the wheel to teach us a thing about John Donne: Reverend, husband, and mega-horny poet. Enjoy the tonal whiplash as we rocket between poems about doing it, poems about how everyone he loved is dead, and more poems about doing it. Megan crafts some fanfiction, Financin’ with RJ branches out, and we learn that no man is an island, especially if he’s in the middle of having sex.

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This week, we head to Africa, not to bless the rains but to contend with Joseph Conrad’s novel Heart of Darkness. Megan is filled to the brim with salt while RJ tries to rack up a high score playing Devil’s Advocate. Join us as we discuss racism, imperialism, and the alleged contents of John Wayne’s colon.

Also, we have a Patreon now: https://www.patreon.com/OhNoLitClass

Warning: Episode contains spoilers for the film version of A Wrinkle in Time!

Crack open your guide to interdimensional travel because we’re about to wrinkle some time! Join us and our friend Scott for a magical story of quantum mechanics, pulsating brains, and incompetent dads as we learn how pubescent girl-rage can save the day. We experience Empowerment, continue our blood feud with Jacksonville, and gaze in awe at 80-foot Oprah.

Get ready for some nougat-y goodness with The Three Musketeers, a novel less about swashbuckling and more about extra-marital cross-kingdom hookups, horse-shaming, and that famous Musketeer slogan: “Well, if it pisses off the Cardinal then I guess it’s okay.” Alexandre Dumas outsources his book-writing to make more time for lovin’, Megan laments a severe lack of sword boys, and RJ ruins ASMR forever.

British boys get stranded on a tropical island, and you won’t BELIEVE what happens next! …They get naked and try to murder each other. It’s Lord of the Flies, a book written out of spite for a different book written 100 years earlier. We look at provocative shell art, learn why choir boys are the evilest kind of boy, do some truly terrible British accents, and refuse to stop referencing Mr. Brightside, for some reason.

You guys, this show is a whole year old! In celebration, we bring you, from the depths of Shakespearean obscurity: Titus Andronicus, the play that asks “What if Shakespeare was possessed by Eli Roth and then wrote a play?” and “Can you do a Michael Caine impression without a tongue?” and also “Are goth kids still a thing?” Enjoy the murder, mayhem, and monologuing that only Big Willy can provide.

They say it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird, so we get to sinning with Harper Lee’s immortal required reading classic. Learn how Lee plagiarized her own life, why Atticus Finch needs to sharpen his lawyer skills, and how all problems can be solved by punching and/or kicking. Megan chronicles the thrilling exploits of a pair of pants and RJ finally nails an impression.

It’s a new year with new experiences to have and new challenges to face! Like having your schedule completely derailed by medical emergencies! (On an unrelated note, RJ met his unfortunate demise under circumstances that are neither mysterious or criminally suspicious). Megan and RJ Jr. Part 2: The Sequel answer submitted questions in this special minisode that is kind of sort of related to literature…ish. 2018, baby!

We’re celebrating the last episode of the year with a double-feature of A Christmas Carol and The Gift of the Magi! Embrace the holiday spirit of giving rocks to Baby Jesus, spending money you don’t have on things you can’t use, multiple ghosts telling you what a jerkoff you are, and the spectacular debut of Oh No! Lit Class Theater. Happy Holidays and God help us, every one.

Who wouldn’t want to be an Invisible Man? Playing awesome pranks, sneaking into R-rated movies…wait, this isn’t that one? This is the one about racial and social inequality and the failure of identity due to society’s perceptions and prejudice? Oh. Join us as we hunt for shirtless pictures of Ralph Ellison, endure entirely too much Symbolism, and struggle to define postmodernism while our old professors are off somewhere, laughing uproariously.

We celebrate Thanksgiving by bringing America back to its awful roots with The Crucible, a play about the Salem witch hunts written during the communist witch hunts. Grab a turkey leg, accuse your aunt of being a witch, and enjoy spoilers for various Bruce Willis movies, puritans casually wandering in and out of other people’s houses, aggressive financial advice, and a surprise lesson on the praying mantis.

Come take a trip with us to the Bradbury-Future of Fahrenheit 451: where firemen burn books, buildings, robots, each other, whatever gets in the way of the flamethrower, really. Along the way, we’ll learn how far Ray Bradbury got with a little gumption and a pair of rollerskates, write the crossover fanfiction no one was asking for, sing some Adele AGAIN, and – most importantly – punish RJ for his hubris.

Our Halloween celebration continues with the master of Gothic horror, Edgar Allan Poe! Cower in fear at the return of the curséd city of Boston! Tremble in horror at how out of touch we are with popular music! Shake your head with pity at the tragedy of Poe and his alarmingly poor life choices! Also, Willem Dafoe walls Steve Buscemi up in a cellar. That happens…Happy Halloween!

Is there a more recognizable literary monster than Dracula? Maybe, but who cares, IT’S A HALLOWEEN EPISODE! Join us as we learn why wolves make great lockpicks, create a Halloween “Dream Daddy” DLC, debate the merits of a manly brain, and listen to RJ do The Worst Impressions Ever. The scariest part of this episode? We’re literally too stupid to say “Bram” right.

In an episode meant to explain and explore the world of banned and challenged books, Megan and RJ instead fail to resist drugs and violence, rewrite Lolita by way of Free Willy, are attacked by bugs, and actually have a serious, mature conversation about censorship, trigger warnings and what it means to read “in context.” We’re just as surprised as you.

On this special episode, we’re investigating a centuries-spanning, Da Vinci Code-style conspiracy: Did beloved wordsmith William Shakespeare actually write all those plays? Or was it…someone else?! Megan and RJ probe Shakespeare’s life, watch a very bad movie with a disappointing lack of Radiohead, discuss RJ’s predictably gross book of poems, and hurl obscenities at Academy Award-winning actor Mark Rylance…Maybe there’s a reason we’re not a True Crime show.

In this positively Dickensian episode, Megan and RJ attempt to discuss Great Expectations and its young hero Pip, but get sidetracked by everything from Chuck E. Cheese to forgetting the lyrics to Hamilton. Listen and learn the lost art of Ye Olde English Negging, the benefits of having your own special convict, and why Vin Diesel would’ve been the perfect person to teach Pip the importance of family.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single podcast in possession of a Jane Austen novel, must be in want of a guest host. Fellow Literary Post-Grad Monique joins Megan and RJ for a timeless tale of husband-hunting and being Too British For Feelings. RJ is out of his element, Megan doubles down on Quirk Classics, and Monique desperately tries to actually teach the listeners something about literature.

In this episode, we cover Zora Neale Hurston’s novel about race, gender, and feminine agency in the horrible, horrible swamps of Florida. Join us as we learn things like where Hurston is *probably* buried, Floridian Hurricane protocol, and why Jacksonville is just objectively the worst place ever. RJ refuses to forget about Moana, Megan caucasians it up, and “Bangarang” is played way more than you would expect…please don’t tell Skrillex.

Big Willy Shakespeare returns! We learn about Amleth, the original Norse myth that’s better in every way, just how bad the “Bad Quarto” version of the play is, and why when your ghost dad tells you to stab your uncle in the taint you really shouldn’t overthink it. Featuring a special segment dedicated to discussing the NY Public Theater’s current production of Hamlet, starring Oscar Issac – and more importantly – Oscar Isaac’s butt.

Bodies change. Everyone knows that. One day you’re slim-waisted with a thick, beautiful head of hair and the next you’re a writhing, oozing insect monster. On this episode, we close our eyes and swat a newspaper at Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis, a squirmy story of transformation and terrible family members. We cover Kafka’s complicated relationship with Judaism, make some A+ film pitches (and some D- impressions), and are just really, unnecessarily mean to John Leguizamo.

In the nick of time for Pride Month, we baseball slide in with our first (as far as we know) gay author, Oscar Wilde, and our first guest host: our friend and fellow Literature Masochist, Scott. Enjoy wacky rich people antics and thinly veiled euphemisms as we learn why you should think before you sue someone, just what’s so hot about being named Ernest, and how best to live up to your blue china’s expectations.

Weigh anchor and climb aboard the good ship Oh No! Lit Class for an extra-special, extra-long, extra…whale…y episode! Moby Dick takes us through such troubled waters as unfortunate child-naming trends, the homoerotic act of squeezing whale sperm, an unexpected amount of singing, and a title character who can barely be bothered to show up to his own book. Megan is sick and struggles to not to make gross sniffling noises while RJ yells at Starbucks.

In this episode, we abandon our integrity, dignity, and tagline so that we can jump on The Handmaid’s Tale bandwagon…and then mention the TV show maybe once. Instead, we learn why RJ shouldn’t be allowed to talk about authors who are still alive, pitch an idea for an action/adventure spin-off, and discover the dark truth behind why the story is set in what used to be Boston.

You know what they say, “You gotta plant the yams first. Then, when you have the yams, you have the power.” We’re pretty sure that’s how that one goes. Dive into Things Fall Apart as RJ makes far too many 90’s wrestling references while Megan, against her better judgment, recites some Kendrick Lamar lyrics, and we are all reminded that Imperialist White People Ruin Everything They Touch.

Megan and RJ are here to tell you that everything you know about Frankenstein is wrong. Not only is he the doctor, not the monster, he’s not even an actual doctor! Also, there’s no Igor…but there might be some Al Gore. We discuss the dumpster fire that was Mary Shelley’s life and why it’s important to love your children even if they’re an affront to God and like, just so incredibly ugly.

You know how it is, your husband says he’s gonna meet you in the New World, he doesn’t show up, you sleep with a priest, the town shuns you because you’re full of sin, Batman’s there…Megan and RJ read The Scarlet Letter and learn that revenge is a dish best served 7 years later and that no one ever wants to shovel the poop hill.

In this episode, Megan and RJ talk about 1984, George Orwell’s bleak image of a dark future where one man really, really, REALLY wants to get his bone on. We ignore most of the probing philosophical questions in favor of George Michael, Apple products, and a phone call from Little Brother.

Poet, recluse…murderer? Probably not that last thing but wow did everyone Emily ever love sure die a whole bunch. Megan and RJ take the Dickinson train to Sadness Town, realize how little they actually know about poetry, and make more stupid Simpsons jokes.

It’s like raaaa-eee-aaaiiin on your wedding day! …Or like finding out your fiance is already married and has been keeping his wife locked in the attic of his house, on your wedding day. It’s time for Jane Eyre! Megan and RJ make horrible mouth noises, sing entirely too much and ponder the question, “Where exactly SHOULD you keep your secret wife?”

In this episode, we’re talking about The Great Gatsby! We’ll explore the cultural context of the Jazz Age, how writing a novel can be the sickest burn of all, and why it’s so hard to think of a memorable Robert Redford movie. Mostly though, Megan and RJ make a ton of wiener jokes. Like, just so many.

In this first episode, we learn about Shakespeare’s Macbeth: the crazy, bloodthirsty murderer, and Historical Macbeth: the pretty okay dude. Megan gets history-shamed, RJ is under the impression that all Scottish people are actually from Brooklyn, and we all fondly remember the 90’s cartoon show, Gargoyles.