Faking Lit

I'm sorry this is late, things have been crazy Please continue to stay safe and well.

Happy 420. Stay indoors.

IT'S A TOTAL LOCKDOWN We try to make the best of a bad situation and continue to broadcast to whoever's left outside in the Wasteland. With Special Guest Experts Eva Steenberg, Zaran Hex and Enya.

Don't go outside. Stay at home. Wash your hands and listen as we discuss Albert Camus' existentialist tale of disease "The Plague" and play "Nazi or Not-zi". Featuring Special Guest Expert Gin Gee, a clone.

Well, well, well, look who decided to post a new episode... This week the Idiots discuss Virginia Woolf's classic tale of gender bending "Orlando" - catch-up with London's Premier Beefeater Lenny London - catch-up with reclusive fifth Beatle Ebenezer Skrewge - quiz them on the failures of their respective marriages.

We return for the first episode of the new decade and also make our first attempt to discuss poetry with TS Eliot's beloved book of feline related doggerel "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats" - re-litigate an old family psychodrama - pitch a musical about crisp packets - make cat goop. Featuring Special Guest Experts take-no-prisoners comedian Chris P Bitz, Chin's brother Cheek Coffee and David Simon (the guy who wrote The Wire).

Oh, gather your ears and come sit a spell, And hark to the tale that I have to tell! A mystery! A murder! A villainous deed! And four possible culprits on your podcast feed! They'll cover various topics (some of them scary) Including some of the films of Jim Carrey! And a bit of the book (we all tried our best) It's a Faking Lit Christmas, so it's a bit of a mess. Featuring Special Guest Experts Terry Sauce and Tim Trout-PI, Private Detective.

In which the Idiots get stuck into Herman Melville's symbolic magnum opus "Moby Dick" - learn the in-and-outs of navel law - discuss whether people in the past knew what a whale even was - talk about sperm.

Episode 106 - Halloweeeeen by

WE ARE BACK After a short break the Idiots return to discuss the sentimental, existential (sentistential) story of canine reincarnation, "A Dog's Purpose" - talk about the value of our four legged friends and the joy they bring into our lives - delve into the history of beloved nudity aggregation website "Mr Skin" - celebrate a birthday - introduce a new section of the show: "What Gets You Off?" Featuring Special Guest Experts Fitzgerald Honger, the Ambassador (an ambassador) and Bobby Crumbles (some... person?)

In which the Idiots celebrate of absent co-host Haran X by discussing his choice of book, Patrick Hamilton's tale of obsession, manipulation and mental illness "Hangover Square" - take a journey through Rock and Venereal Disease - uncover the secrets of Bill Gates's house - welcome Dan back to the land of the living. Featuring Special Guest Experts Rock-Dad and Rock-Son. (Apologies for the sound quality in places, where for some reason we experienced some mic problems.)

In which the Idiots discuss Kazuo Ishiguro's Booker Prize winning novel of repression and unrequited love "The Remains of the Day" - discuss the Butler's place in the cultural consciousness - find out about the Butler World Championship - debate which Butlers fuck - call NASA. Featuring Special Guest Experts Billy Butler, Chin's Court Appointed Butler and returning divorced Yogi, Clive Rudolph.

In which the Idiots take apart William S Burroughs's obscene, influential magnum opus "Naked Lunch" - discover that diamonds and crystals are actually the same - Haran opens up to us emotionally - we briefly retool to become a gameshow. Featuring Special Guest Experts Terry Sauce, edgelord and DeviantArtist and the South African Diamond Man.

In which we discuss Ayn Rand's notorious objectivist magnum opus "Atlas Shrugged" - learn about exciting developments in the world of AI - a pop star performs an exclusive new track for us live in the studio - have not one, but two interventions. Featuring Special Guest Experts Limes (the Artist Formerly Known as Regyna McCracken) and Technomologist Eddie Stank.

PART 2 CHAOS REIGNS

PART 1 ONE BIG HOT MESS

We discuss all manner of bodily fluids and bizarre family rituals as we delve into Iain Banks's classic warped coming-of-age novel "The Wasp Factory" - we find out that the super-rich are really just like us when all is said and done - learn what the Chinese ET would sound like. With Special Guest Experts Horni and Chayst Mostenice, heirs to the Moistenice Plunger Fortune.

In this special episode, we put two of the most showbiz insider people I know in a room together to craft what the ending of Game of Thrones should have been and along the way share stories of what it was actually like working behind the scenes of the show and to be a confidant of George RR Martin himself. With Special Guest Experts Adrian Tauss and Trey Birkenstock, accent coach to the star.

Continuing the never-ending, eternal Dystopia series, the Idiots delve into Kurt Vonnegut's pitch black apocalypse comedy "Cat's Cradle" - Alice returns and relates her harrowing tale of survival after being trapped for months in her local decommissioned library - Our favourite Beefeater Sir Lenny London OBE returns and tells us of the people we will meet in Heaven, and the chain restaurants that exist in Heaven and in Hell - we delve into the history of various Ians.

The Idiots discuss Stephen King's epic tale of Good and Evil and the fight for humanity's very soul at the end of the world, "The Stand"! - Fitz returns to the show with more tales of the future and attempts to start up a new business, possibly involving dogs - we get a terrifying glimpse of the world to come if we don't change our ways - we get some advice to reduce our carbon footprint to zero. Featuring Special Guest Experts Fitzgerald Honger and Eva Steenberg, a super space child with a message of doom from the future.

HAPPY EASTER 420 It's been a long weekend so all I'll say about this one is that we have guests that come in the form of the purest rastafarian Gideon Ponyboy and C.S Lewis drops in to critique his own work and share deeply personal stories about his sex life with a familiar secret agent.

The Dystopia season continues with our discussion of David Mitchell's genre colliding work of literary ventriloquism "Cloud Atlas" and we reveal the secrets of Chin's hot bod, Josh's past life, reveal that Freddie Mercury was an ant and create a haunting work of art. #AllMenAreCool Featuring Special Guest Experts returning edgelord DeviantArtist Terry Sauce and super hacker supreme B.L.U.E.S.T.E.E.L.T.H.U.N.D.E.R.M.A.C.A.B.R.E.

Sorry this one is so late. We continue our Unofficial Dystopia Season with a chat about about Philip K Dick's nightmare alternate universe in which the Nazis won the Second World War, taking in diverse topics such as the "Bildenberg" Group, how to adopt a cunning pseudonym and why Nazis are bad. With Special Guest Experts Adam Riley, Jonny Gillam and The Captain. You can buy "Tomorrow's World" by Guy Portman here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07JMKVWD1/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

The Idiots talk about PD James's vision of a childless future, "The Children of Men" and also discuss related matters such as sperm counts, Fortnite and various substances that are stored in the balls. Featuring Special Guest Experts Emily McQuade and Fortnite champion T3st1cul4r C4nc3r.

The Idiots grapple with Aldous Huxley's vision of a world where humanity has been pacified and controlled by sex and drugs and we ask whether it is more relevant now than it has ever been. Along the way we discuss artificial insemination, who in the room is an Alpha and who is a Gamma and play a couple of games of "3,2,1 Break!" Featuring Special Guest Experts... you know what, it's late and this is my third attempt to upload this and type out a description because Soundcloud was having a meltdown, and I can't even spell one of the names, so I'll leave it with you.

MWAH I KISS YOU Remember that guy with that website? This week the Idiots get all sentimental and romantic with George Orwell's terrifying vision of an inescapable, totalitarian future, "Nineteen Eighty-Four", arguably the most romantic of all the Dystopian works we are covering in our unofficial Dystopia series, and not something that I've forced into shape in response to the caprices of the marketplace - we chart the enduring legacy of Nineteen Eighty-Four and its influence of middle-of-the-road television programming - find out how Eric Arthur Blair became George Orwell - examine how height is intrinsically linked to power structures - confront our own fears as we each describe our own personal Room 101. Featuring Special Guest Expert Policeman Montague, a Camden Borough Police Officer.

In which the Idiots discuss H.G. Wells genre defining fourth dimensional adventure "The Time Traveller" - Fitz drops by to lay out his latest business venture and tell us incredible tales of the Future (both the place in time and the trap rapper) - Chin tries out the latest food craze Huel and reports back on his findings - we hear strange and bizarre Future Music (both the place in time and the trap rapper). Featuring Special Guest Experts Fitzgerald Honger and Engelbert Humbledick, COO of Huel. This episode was sponsored by Huel. It's Fuel for Humans.

In which the Idiots discuss Anthony Burgess's real horroshow novel of ultraviolence and the old in-and-out - become gradually more and more lost in a world of shared hallucinations and abrupt, unexpected advertorial fugues - learn how engage and disengage Cuck Mode - uncover a real life case of disturbing psychological conditioning. Featuring Special Guest Experts Soyman Mayo and Mark Cuckmode, radio personalities, film critics and aspiring pop stars.

In which the Idiots crash into 2019 with Cormac McCarthy's bleak, brutal and beautiful post-apocalyptic masterpiece - dig deep into the sordid and terrifying world of Army Seals and their trainers - uncover the dangerous world of Malaysian weddings - learn to appreciate the finer points of Daddy Culture. Featuring Special Guest Experts Jonny Gillam and Thaddeus Bullits, US Army Seal Trainer Trainer.

It's a Christmas miracle.

In which the slow Bataan Death March that has been our Harry Potter season comes to a grateful end with "Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows" - Chin expounds upon the music of Freddie Mercury - we try to out Jordan Bellfort each other and sell each other various objects - pitch the ultimate "get rich slow" scheme. Featuring Special Guest Experts Michaell Hill, Sam Dodson and Richard Sounds, CEO of Richer Sounds, a reference that everyone will get and appreciate.

In which the Idiots continue the descent into the world of Harry Potter and discuss the darkest entry in the series "Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince" - Dan puts on his big boy pants to host the episode and deploys his tried and tested methodology of listing things and asking what the best thing is - debate the question of Dumbledore's sexuality and the use of subtext - discover what constitutes a "classic scenario". Featuring Special Guest Experts Michael Hill and Stephen King's brother, Bergah.

In which the Idiots continue their journey through the Potterverse with the fifth book in the series "Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix" - we learn of a scandal at Hogwarts that was cut out of the books - learn what Joaquin Phoenix's favourite caramels are - discover the massive secret conspiracy embedded at the heart of the novel - have a little father-son role-playing. With Special Guest Experts Billiam Chilitree, heir to the throne of Denmark and Head Town Planner, and Quillius Crimbletree, Magic teacher at Hogwarts.

This week Chin's brother, Cheek Coffee, takes over Faking Lit as chin is mysteriously absent. He's joined by a litenay of characters, including Lenny London, Steve Koenig, Donnie Bagels, Daniel Offen, Michael Owen and Josh Bellman. They talk about The Godfather by Mario Puzo

BOO In which the Idiots look to the authoritative M.R. James to inspire them to write the spookiest, scariest, creepiest ghost story of all time for Halloween - Chin reveals he doesn't know how buses work - we try to spread awareness of Simlish. Featuring Special Guest Experts Ian Lane and Mortimer Goth, noted Sim about town.

In which the Idiots continue to tumble down the Harryhole with the fourth book in the series, "Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire" - we recast the Harry Potter stories with Michael Caine in every role - examine what makes the Death Eater's so evil - work out what snakes symbolise in the series - try to talk about a female character for a minute without mentioning any men. Featuring Special Guest Experts Martin Willis and Jacob, a male feminist man person guy.

In the third part of our Harry Potter series, the Idiots dig into "Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban" - discover the connections between carrier bag costs, PC Gone Mad and MacDonalds - an artist shows us their watercolours - Chin gets into trouble with HR. Featuring Special Guest Expert Terry Sauce, DeviantArt Artist.

In which the Idiots continue their Potterquest with the second book in the series: "Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets" - a holy celestial being makes their podcast debut - stay away from snakes - get anagrammatical. Featuring Special Guest Expert, God.

In which the Idiots kick off their series run-through of the Harry Potter books with "Harry Potter & The Philosopher's Stone" - learn the true story behind the inspiration of everyone's favourite boy wizard - discover the difference between a hairdresser and a barber - bask in the magic of Blackpool. Featuring Special Guest Experts William Stone, Orson Welles and Mansoir Fillapuso, a man with a haircut.

In which the Idiots discuss Ray Bradbury's cautionary sci-fi tale of censorship and conformity - Beefeater Lenny London returns to reveal hitherto unrevealed magical powers and discuss his recent promotion - Josh expounds on the profound influence that Jordan Peterson has had on his life - Haran has another meltdown - Chin advocates for the primacy of literature over all other mediums, especially podcasts like this one. Featuring Special Guest Expert Lenny London, Premier Beefeater.

In which the Idiots discuss Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons's seminal comic book masterpiece "Watchmen" - argue for the legitimacy of the medium - demand pictures of Spider-Man - examine the problems of adaptation while dry heaving - the squid stays in the picture. Featuring Special Guest Experts Joseph Murphy and the poet Robert Burns.

In which the Idiots discuss John Kennedy Toole's Pulitzer Prize winning picaresque novel "A Confederacy of Dunces" - discuss how today's entrepreneurs conduct their business - how grief can manifest itself through flatulence - dunk on Dan's nuts. Featuring Special Guest Expert Bell Joshman, a campanologist.

In this very special episode the Idiots sit down to gab with Ebeneezer, the secret 5th Beatle, discuss his hitherto undocumented place in the legendary story of the Beatles and ask him to weigh in on books which the music of the Beatles helped to inspire.

In which the Idiots discuss Alexandre Dumas' classic swashbuckling Bro-Down "The Three Musketeers" - Fitz gives us an update on his wallpaper business and branches out into sales - Ben plugs his art - we lay out the tangled web connecting the Mouseketeers with Brexit ad Trump. Featuring Special Guest Experts Ben Lund-Conlon & Fitzgerald Honger.

In which the Idiots discuss J.D. Salinger's quintessential moody teenager novel, "The Catcher in the Rye" - Dan opens up about his musical tastes and his past as a sk8tr boi - we learn that Chin is a scummy Globalist shill - our guest reveals the perils of believing the Mainstream Media. Featuring Special Guest Expert Gareth something or other.

In which the Idiots discuss Ian McEwan's meta-fictional tale of loss, guilt and love, "Atonement" - learn the secret military origins of the Chicken McNugget - unveil Steve Koenig's latest project for Netflix - swelter in this unending heat-wave. Featuring Special Guest Experts Steve Koenig and Crispin Pacquet, a naval spitfire pilot.

In which the Idiots get down and dirty with "The Kama Sutra" for a very special Episode 69 - we discuss our favourite positions from the Kama Sutra - gain insight into the plight of the adult baby community - Dan is confronted with his past. Featuring Special Guest Experts returning couples therapist BJ McHammer and her baby husband Henry McHammer.

In which the Idiots discuss beloved children's classic "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" by Eric Carle - Chin has a mini family reunion as he tries to work out which of his brothers is in possession of their cherished copy of "The Very Hungry Caterpillar". Featuring Special Guest Experts, Chin's brothers: Cheek Coffee, Forehead Hot Chocolate and Nose Bovril.

In which the Idiots discuss William Golding's tale of boys, pigs and the laughably fragile veneer of civilization - discuss whether this book would be sexier if it had involved an island of girls as opposed to boys - expose the music world for the hollow sham it truly is - finally establish who has true Big Dick Energy in the room. Featuring Special Guest Experts Pop Artist Regyna McCracken and Falix Petridish, music critic for The Truncheon.

In which the Idiots discuss Nick Nornby's long-form love-letter to football and fandom "Fever Pitch" - returning guest Michael Owen give us his Dream Team and regales us with tales of his friendship and rivalry with Sami Hyypiä - discuss the effect that the football has on the "lower classes" - figure out how to give Grandma the perfect send-off. Featuring Special Guest Experts Peter Reilly (Lucas Jolson) and Michael Owen.

THE LOST EPISODE! In which the Idiots failed to record an episode properly, and subsequently only salvaged half an episode from the mess. Apologies for the long rambling introduction at the beginning. Feel free to skip past the five minute mark if you're adverse to mid range vocal fry.

In which the Idiots discuss Thomas Pynchon's cult novel of paranoia and mail conspiracy "The Crying of Lot 49" - discuss Bruce Forsythe's last show "Strictly Sane" - why does Batman love beating up mentally ill people? - a cat barber gives dating tips. With Special Guest Experts Nathan Roberts and Edward Pomblebee, a cat barber.

In which the Idiots discuss Thomas Harris's blockbusting pot-boiler "The Silence of the Lambs" - Chin uses his powers of emergency marriage counselling to deploy some much needed couples therapy - repeatedly plug a wallpaper business - discuss the proper way to eat a tasty sandwich - bring a new life into the world. Featuring Special Guest Experts Fitzgerald Honger and our favourite couple in crime Carlos Lopez & Maria Rosa Chiquita Lopez-Gonzalez.

In which the Idiots discuss Charlotte Bronte's tale of triumph over adversity and madness "Jane Eyre" - Chin discuss his DeviantTart work and receives feedback on his pregnant Sonic the Hedgehog tart - plug the hell out of a building cleaning services company - discover the links between Jane Eyre and Harry Potter - talk about how babies are named. Featuring Special Guest Experts Rebekka Turner, Lenny London (Beefeater) and Montgomery O'McClean, building site cleaner.

In which the Idiots discuss Bret Easton Ellis's infamous satire of 80s narcissism and excess "American Psycho" - question the very fabric of reality itself - butts and abs gets slapped, we don't play favourites here! - two familiar faces return... Featuring Chambers Johnstein Jr & Chambers Junestein Sr, father and son jam brewers.

In which the Idiots discuss the late Philip Roth's transgressive and sexually frank novel of American Jewish male identity - Chin reveals a hidden career working for Graham Norton - decide who's better: humans or octopuses - get some lessons in comedy from a pro. With Special Guest Expert Tom Blueman, pro comedian on the Northern Circuit.

In which the Idiots discuss F Scott Fitzgerald's celebrated novel of the Jazz Age and the inherent emptiness of the American Dream - watch a YouTube series in which Presidents are pranked - explore the impractical side to have a concave face - talk about fusion in all it myriad forms (mostly jazz and faces). Featuring Special Guest Experst Emily McQuade and Barney and Brad Lemonclime, twin plubmers and YouTube pranksters, among many other things. Outro Music: Bros - Panda Bear

In which the Idiots discuss Michael Crichton's tales of quantum physics and medieval time hopping "Timeline" - try to stop the end of all life in the universe, or at least the end of all life with a name containing the letter "C" - try to keep the truth from a guest's girlfriend - appreciate Billy Connolly. Featuring Special Guest Experts Ben Lund-Conlon, Allessandro Bomodoro Auctioneer and Pret A Manger employee and DANOS.

In which the Idiots celebrate the 80th Anniversary of Daphne du Maurier's psychological melodrama "Rebecca" - play out endless scenarios of how to behave at parties - get highly defensive for no reason - try repeatedly to end the show to no avail. Featuring Special Guest Expert Robert Downey Yoghurt, actor and bean counter. Outro music: The Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme (instrumental)

In which the Idiots seize the means of production with George Orwell's beloved and enduring political allegory of totalitarianism, "Animal Farm" - sing and dance through a variety of musical numbers - learn about how we get gold from gold farms - somebody dies. Featuring Special Guest Expert ??? a gold prospector searching for his name.

In which Haran takes over hosting duties for a 420 special while Chin is away staring at something completely unrelated in the corner and leads a discursive discussion on John Williams's late-blooming bestseller "Stoner" - debate the myriad forms of love - compare the relative bar for bestsellers in the US and the UK - get incredibly defensive over minor perceived slights. Featuring Special Guest Experts Jonny Gillam and Gideon Ponyboy, the world's purest Rastafarian. Outro Music: Spliff Dub - Zomby

In which the Idiots discuss Ernest Cline's book of weaponized nostalgia, "Ready Player One" - pack reference after reference after reference instead of actual jokes - differentiate between nerds and funky guys (#funkyguyforlife) - briefly discuss the death of the author - get top tips on internet piracy. Featuring Special Guest Experts Bob Flowers, Hollywood insider and Eobard Covfefe, an internet pirate and founder of www.altright.com. Outro Music: DuckTales Moon Stage Theme - Hiroshige Tonomura

In which the Idiots read Ian Fleming's classic tale of espionage, innuendo and idée fixe, "GoldFinger" - really get hung up on names - delve into the secret history of the SAS - play a game. Featuring Special Guest Expert Mr Finch, a friend of Steve Koenig. Outro Music: The 2nd Best Secret Agent in the Whole Wide World - Sammy Davis Jr.

In which the Idiots recorded a special live Easter episode at Waterstone's Tottenham Court Road on 29th April 2018.

In which the Idiots discuss Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's ripping yarn about dinosaurs - debate whether wheat is a fruit - dive into the lucrativer world of dinosaur erotica - retool the show to create the next great work of dinosaur erotica. With Special Guest Experts Sam Dodson and advertising executive Barry Blinds. Our live show is happening THIS THURSDAY! Click below for tickets: https://www.waterstones.com/events/faking-lit-podcast-presents-the-da-vinci-code/london-tottenham-court-road Visit Sam's website, Nothing In The Rulebook here: https://nothingintherulebook.com/ Outro music: Walk The Dinosaur - Was Not Was

In which the Idiots belatedly celebrate St Patrick's Day with James Joyce's celebrated kunstlerroman "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man" - talk about masturbation - -debate the meaning of the word "portmanteau" - continue to talk about masturbation - uncover the rivalry between the Samaritans and the Philistines - are unable to get off the topic of masturbation - Chin reads the erotic letters of James Joyce - Michael imagines what it would be like if James Joyce were a character in Street Fighter II. Featuring Special Guest Experts Michael Hill and Professor Sir Cum Elocution, a literature professor at Oxbridge University. Content warning: this is a filthy episode of Faking Lit, even by our own standards. The letters from James Joyce to Nora Barnacle are real and can be read here, you impure perverts: https://adoxoblog.wordpress.com/2011/02/25/f%CE%BCckbird-and-jim-james-joyces-letters-to-nora-barnacle/ Our live show is still happening on 29th March at Tottenham Court Road Waterstones! Come and see us talk about The Da Vinci Code! Tickets are a very affordable £4! Book them here: https://www.waterstones.com/events/faking-lit-podcast-presents-the-da-vinci-code/london-tottenham-court-road Outro Music: Teenage Kicks - The Undertones

In which the Idiots record a special Mother's Day episode on Louisa May Alcott's beloved classic "Little Women" - explore the reasons behind Elvis Presley faking his own death - gush about the hip hop musical based on the life and times of Ernest Hemingway - get a lesson in braille - Haran continues to spiral into the outer reaches acceptable podcast banter. Featuring Special Guest Experts Rachel Sambrooks and Danish town planner Billiam Chillitree. Come to our live show on 29th March at Waterstones on Tottenham Court Road! Tickets are £4! https://www.waterstones.com/events/faking-lit-podcast-presents-the-da-vinci-code/london-tottenham-court-road Outro Music: Girls - Death In Vegas

In which the Idiots gab about DBC Pierre's Booker and Whitbread winning novel "Vernon God Little" - talk about why hamsters should have guns - why you should have guns on your teeth - how to survive the gas chamber - why you should respect Russia. Featuring Special Guest Experts Alabaman gun enthusiast Werner Climes and fellow American Ursuala You'reIn (Simone Belshaw). Hey! Come on to our live show on the 29th March! https://www.waterstones.com/events/faking-lit-podcast-presents-the-da-vinci-code/london-tottenham-court-road Outro Music: One of Us - Joan Osborne

In which the Idiots unpack Roald Dahl's beloved children's tale of how kids will never be as good as chocolate - Haran reveals another novel's hidden allusions to 20th Century German history - why all the children in this book are essentially the same person - are treated to some maritime flavoured character comedy - read out some of Roald Dahl's most anti-semitic quotes. Featuring Special Guest Expert Admiral P Bummington, a naval admiral and multiple award winning character comedian. Come to our live show! Tickets are £4 (cheap!) https://www.waterstones.com/events/faking-lit-podcast-presents-the-da-vinci-code/london-tottenham-court-road Outro Music: Charly - The Prodigy

We took a break this weekend, so here's part 2 of our Best of 2017! Chin apologises for being so very, very tired. It's been a long week. Thanks to all the guests we had on the show in 2017: Helen Bauer, Ben Lund-Conlon, Jonny Gillam, Lucy Roper,Tom Redman, Sasha Ellen, Phil Lindsey, Martin Willis, Joseph Murphy, Michael Hill, Andy Onions, Kat Sadler, Elena Gabets and Anne Klein. Get you tickets for our live event at Waterstones here! https://www.waterstones.com/events/faking-lit-podcast-presents-the-da-vinci-code/london-tottenham-court-road

In which the Idiots get all romantic for Valentine's Day and discuss "Fifty Shades of Grey" by EL James - Haran reveals the secret parallels between "Fifty Shades of Grey" and the Treaty of Versailles - learn how the book has been used as an instruction manual for the sexually clueless - which animals have the best thighs? - Clint Eastwood won't respond to my emails. Featuring Special Guest Experts Lucy Roper and Sex Counsellor B.J. McHammer. Also, come see our live show at Waterstone's Tottenham Court Road on 29th March! Get your tickets here: https://www.waterstones.com/events/faking-lit-podcast-presents-the-da-vinci-code/london-tottenham-court-road Outro Music: Venus In Furs - The Velvet Underground

In which the Idiots discuss Mark Haddon's acclaimed story of autism, family and casual animal cruelty, "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" - spend too much time discussing wallpaper - uncover the secret history of "Spot the Dog" - solve the mystery of what is happening to all the dogs in Camberwell. Featuring Special Guest Experts Fitzgerald Honger, Michael Hill and avowed Jonathan Freedland fan, The Captain. Outro Music: cLOUDDEAD - Dead Dogs 2 (Boards of Canada Remix)

In which the Idiots discuss George Eliot's bildungsroman "The Mill on the Floss" - Chin loves George Eliot - Dr Dre does not make good headphones for dogs and is a terrible plastic surgeon - Haran doesn't understand what "metaphorical" means - I'm sorry, but this person is clearly not a dog. With Special Guest Experts podcast phenomenon Steve Koenig and his "dog" Ham McHam(face).

In which the Idiots discuss the almost forgotten source material for massive Dreamworks animation franchise, "Shrek" by William Steig - list the multiple failures of the Conservatives - pitch a Radiohead jukebox musical - Jonny sells Chin a book series - Alice burps. Featuring Special Guest Experts Jonny Gillam and Press Secretary Laurence Chives.

In which the Idiots have a frank discussion about Pete Benchley's overshadowed novel "Jaws" - get an insider's perspective on Hollywood - pitch our own animal movies - watch Haran and Michael slowly tear each other apart. Featuring Special Guest Experts Michael Hill & Hollywood player Bob Flowers.

In which the Idiots discuss Joseph Conrad's tale of madness and Imperialism, "Heart of Darkness" - yo, is this book racist? - we hear several pitches for Black Mirror episodes - are you a Kurtz or a Marlowe? - yo, is this optician racist? Featuring Special Guest Expert, Water Treatment Plant Worker Hamish Hamish (Tom Redman).

In which the Idiots take a break over Christmas and put together a clips show. With special thanks our special guest experts Helen Bauer, Ben Lund-Conlon, Phil Lindsey and Joseph Murphy.

Now we have a Christmas themed episode ho-ho-ho

Join Donathan Bagels as he sits down with Alan Pacino and Jane Stewart to watch and discuss the trailer for the 1979 Bond film "Moonraker".

In which the Idiots discuss the gross, icky cult classic "The Dice Man" - submit to the will of the dice throughout the episode - guest Andy Diceman regales us with his impression - Chin extolls the Funky Guy Life (#FunkyGuyLife). With Special Guest Expert Andy Diceman, a former employee of the BBC.

In which the Idiots discuss Jack Kerouac's semi-autobiographical cult novel - Chin has a meltdown - Alice tells us her fear of gunge - we are told to keep the noise down - we drink possibly too much wine. Featuring Special Guest Experts Michael Hill, Sasha Ellen, MMA Fighter Michael "Fuck 'em up" O'Reilly, and the Lodger.

In which the Idiots discuss Richard Adams's "Watership Down" - get distracted by the ingenuity of the writing team on "Dawson's Creek" - explore the expanded universe of "The Wire" - derail on possibly the most childish and most staggeringly stupid tangent ever while discovering that, yes, there was apparently a "sequel" to "Through the Keyhole". Featuring Special Guest Experts Michael Hill and returning wellness guru Siddartha Bookerjee.

In which the Idiots get to the heart of Michael Bond's beloved ursine children's character - uncover the infanticidal subtext of Paddington - get schooled on what proper Chinese food really is - try to protect the Queen from danger. Featuring Special Guest Experts Anne Klein, everyone's favourite Beefeater Lenny London and The Chinese Restaurateur.

In which the Idiots discuss Jonathan Swift's much bowdlerised satirical travelogue "Gulliver's Travels" - struggle over who will be the Mark Zuckerberg and who will be the Winkelvoss Twins of the next Big Idea: "Cat Hands" - stay away from www.AskJeeves.ru - reveal that Japan was actually a prank concocted by the Chinese - race to trademark various ideas through hasty freestyle rap. Featuring Special Guest Experts Elena Gabets and UK Garage UK Garage Sauce impressario Lee Branches and his publicist Sheila Hat.

The Idiots discuss the beloved anti-authoritarian novel by Ken Kesey, "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" - propose an ingenious system for working out who's supposed to be speaking in a book - put forward the theory that all Jack Nicholson's films are actually just sequels to each other - discover that naming books is hard. Featuring Special Guest Experts Michael Hill, Andy Onions, Grime DJ Bookcase Fillah and author Phillip Potassium Koch.

The Idiots get all spooky in this special Halloween episode in which we pit Bram Stoker's "Dracula" against Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein" to decide who will be King of Halloween - we also receive our first factual corrections email, which is surely a sign that we are a proper podcast. Featuring Special Guest Experts Gustav Lund, an actual vampire, and Juergen von Schufschvich, a Transylvanian vegetarian.

In which the Idiots continue to spook it up with Stephenie Meyer's stealth Mormon pamphlet "Twilight" - Steve Koenig reveals hitherto undiscovered podcasts and personas - we try to be more conscientious in our language - Alice says something she regrets. Featuring Special Guest Experts one-man podcast empire, Steve Koenig and sociall conscious YouTube personality, MDubz (Martin Willis).

This week the Idiots kick off the Halloween season with a very special guest - waste no time discussing the racism of H.P. Lovecraft - read excerpts from their favourite Lovecraft stories - Josh becomes a gushy fanboy and shares his Lovecraft fanfic with us - we have an exclusive NEW POEM from the man himself. With Special Guest Expert Jonny Gillam and extremely super special guest expert H.P. Lovecraft himself.

This week the Idiots discuss Lionel Shriver's bleak tale of motherhood and psychopathy "We Need To Talk About Kevin" - delve deep into the lore of Donkey Kong - give advice on how to raise your kids right - find out what Neil Patrick Harris is up to these days. Featuring Special Guest Experts, father and son petrol barons Bryce Starnbarn and Bryce Starnbarn Jr... or are they?

This week the Idiots discuss Philip K Dick's dystopian tale of robots that fuck - Chin apologizes for last week's missing episode - robo-cuckoldry is revealed - we have the first ever sexual harassment tribunal on the show. Featuring Special Guest Experts the Man About Town and the Man on the Street.

In which the Idiots discuss Stephen King's classic tale of sewer clowns, childhood and 50s nostalgia - learn about sperm counts - examine the influence of the Gaulier Clown School on the novel. Featuring a very Special Guest Expert, retired footballer and film buff Michael Owen.

In which the Idiots discuss Charles Dickens's epic tale of love and sacrifice in the French Revolution "A Tale of Two Cities" - reveal the mystical secrets of the Beefeaters - take sides in the upcoming class war -and we DO NOT take a trip to Opposite Land. With returning guest philanthropist and Subway sandwich artist Serge Pistache and Special Guest Expert Lenny London, one of the Her Majesty's Beefeaters.

The Idiots discuss Kazuo Ishiguro's haunting and moving tale of clones and the human condition - debate the existence of free will - what ARE you going to do with all that bum-fluff anyway? - what to do if you're ever in a room with TWO Johnny Depps - Apps for organ donations. Featuring Special Guest Expert Tom Redman and Siddartha Bookherjee, a well-being guru.

In which the Idiots conclude their discussion of The Hunger Games Trilogy with the last book in the series "Mockingjay" - discuss what makes for a dramatically satisfying death in real life and wonder why the book is so obsessed with bread. Featuring Special Guest Experts Tom Redman and committed Atheist and Brain Guy, Ham Sarris.

In which the Idiots discuss the second book in The Hunger Games Trilogy, "Catching Fire" - sing songs which consist of only one chord - explore the power dynamics within the room based upon race and gender - talk about the time Lenny Kravitz's penis burst forth upon an unsuspecting public. Featuring Special Guest Expert Cookie Kavanagh, a girl who Chin found sleeping on his couch.

In which The Idiots discuss "The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins - Dan deconstructs the formula for every joke on Have I Got News For You in order to get a job on the show - Chin professes his love for the band Death Grips - lay out various strategies for winning The Hunger Games - list various recipes involving cheese on toast and mashed potatoes. Featuring Special Guest Expert Malcolm Rapeseed, celebrity chef and restaurateur.

In which the Idiots discuss a bygone era and much country life in "Cider With Rosie" by Laurie Lee - debate how reliable Laurie Lee's memory is - make enemies of all people who live in the country - solve a murder - wonder whether offering to sand a table with your tongue is an effective seduction technique . Featuring Special Guest Experts Jonny Gillam and Lucy Roper, plus returning to the show once more Donnie Bagels and a surprise cameo from Steve Koenig.

We seriously over-ran during the Jane Austen episode and so a vitally important Wee Man update had to be cut out of the episode. But we felt we owed it to those who are committed to the search for Wee Man (there are dozens of us! Dozens!) to release this bonus special episode.

In which the Idiots discuss Robert Louis Stevenson's classic adventure story - examine the complex psychodrama that is the relationship between Jim Hawkins and the multiple adult men who want his friendship - look deeper into Long John Silver's much glossed over qualities as a cook - debate what makes a good father figure. Featuring Special Guest Experts Jonny Gillam, Lucy Roper and Brian McKellen, Hollywood's premier Wallpaper Consultant.

As part of the recent Jane Austen Bicentenary, the Idiots discuss Jane Austen's final uncompleted novel and try to figure out how she would have ended it - discover that Timeline humour may be the key to saving the Future - learn how they will all eventually die - get bogged down in the particulars of Georgian Architecture - figure out the precise cyclical lifespan of jokes across millennia. Featuring Special Guest Experts Ben Lund-Conlon, Spruce Bruce, a robot sent from the future and Candida F. Buckets, a lady spy that has been accidentally sent from the past.

In this very special episode, the Idiots manage to get their hands on a leaked manuscript of George RR Martin's long-awaited, and long delayed, continuation of his epic "A Song of Ice & Fire " series and proceed to read and dissect their favourite chapters. Featuring Special Guest Experts Joseph Murphy and Trey Birkenstock, the official Accent Consultant for the book and television series.

In which The Idiots continue their Summer Reading Season with Alexander McCall Smith's "The No.1 Ladies Detective Agency" - discuss why the book is actually Scottish Independence Propaganda - attempt to burst the Liberal Metropolitan Elite Bubble - connect the dots like real detectives. Featuring Special Guest Experts [REDACTED] from Tomorrow's History and Abba Goran Ericsson, Orangina Enthusiast.

In which the Summer Reading Season continues and the Idiots discuss Helen Fielding's chick-lit ur-text - get bogged down in conflicting timelines - explain the premise of "Pinky & The Brain" in Spanish - compare Bridget Jones's Diary skills to Anne Frank's. Featuring Special Guest Experts Carlos Lopez & Maria Rosa Chiquita Lopez-Gonzalez, a husband and wife burglar team.

In which the Idiots continue the Summer Reading Season with Yann Martel's 2002 Man Booker Prize Winner - Chin insists that there's nothing wrong with his interactions with animals - one of the Idiots is outed as a "Yiffer" with a secret Deviantart account - work out how many times it is possible to have watched the film "Battlefield Earth" since its release on May 12 2000. Featuring Special Guest Experts Tom Redman, Sasha Ellen, and returning True Crime Mystery Podcaster/Freeloader Steve Koenig.

In which the Idiots kick off their possibly ill-advised Summer Reading Season and discuss the cult book "The Beach" by Alex Garland - wonder why nobody ever tries to do a sexy Chinese accent - Sasha recommends erotica involving Clippy the Microsoft Office Assistant - Tom shares a very personal story about somebody else -we expose the anti-immigrant sentiment at the heart of the novel - we alienate everybody in South Africa. Featuring Special Guest Experts Sasha Ellen, Tom Redman and Robot Louis Stevenson, a sex obsessed AI.

In which the Idiots discuss "The Book of Revelation" by St John of Patmos - debate whether these are the end times - ask whether a bag of cucumbers is an adequate disguise for God - are victims of serial possession and speak in tongues. Featuring Special Guest Experts Wonty "Clive" Monty Jonty-Bonty and the Reverend Deeee Hunter.

In which the Idiots discuss D.H. Lawrence's controversial classic "Lady Chatterley's Lover" - discuss whether pornography and romance are mutually exclusive - wonder what makes inter-class sex so hot - fail to understand what Irony is - Haran opens up about his marital problems - Alice tries to recover from her hangover. Featuring Special Guest Expert "Hungry" James.

In which the Idiots discuss John Steinbeck's classic tale of the Great Depression "The Grapes of Wrath" - discover how much time constitutes a "Yonk" - Haran X returns to dazzle us all with his mathematical prowess - we introduce new recurring segment "Apology Corner" - discuss which films would work best if you replaced all the characters with cars - and on this episode one of the Idiots WILL DIE. WHO WILL IT BE? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!!!! With Special Guest Expert Gertrude Russell Bertrand, a frail old person.

In which the Idiots discuss Janet Fitch's bonkers bildungsroman "White Oleander" - try to help a young boy locate his father - examine modern notions of what constitutes a family - come to blows. With Special guest li'l Barnaby Rudolph.

In which the Idiots discuss the bestselling weep-fest that is "The Notebook" by Nicholas Sparks - share the secrets to a successful dumping - learn why dogs are not good podcast producers - are hijacked by a series of podcasts spontaneously starting in the middle of this podcast. With special guest, podcast creator and husband of Serial's Sarah Koenig, Steve Koenig.

In which the Idiots discuss J.R.R.'s sprawling history of Middle Earth - ponder the meaning of what a new English Mythology actually means - fail to pronounce many, many names - wonder what's up with Tolkein's obsession with jewelry - delve into the mysteries of Kilburn Station - receive mail from a "celebrity admirer". Featuring special guest expert Jonny Gillam and returning to the show, our favourite Australian divorcee, Clive Rudolph.

Clear evidence that special guest expert Jonny Gillam thinks that the world should be ruled by garbage baby men.

In which we discuss Orson Scott Card's militaristic sci-fi classic "Ender's Game" - create the "Devil's Avocado" bagel - critique Mormonism, geronotcracies and infantocracies using carefully crafted bagel analogies - discover that all dystopian fiction is founded upon a lack of bagels. Featuring special guest experts Jonny Gillam and bagel enthusiast Donnie Bagels.

In which the Idiots tackle JoJo Moyes' problematic weepie "Me Before You" - a guest overcomes their own prejudices and makes a breakthrough - the secrets of the Snooker Trick Shot community are revealed - learn about a debilitating condition known as "Benjaminism". Featuring Special Guest Expert Ben Lund-Conlon. WARNING: This episode deals with heavy subjects such as Euthanasia/Assisted Suicide as that is a big part of the plot.

In this week's episode, we are joined by special guest experts Helen Bauer and Jonny Gillam who give their thoughts on Paula Hawkins' twisty-turny, page-turner, "The Girl On The Train". Topics covered in this discussion include thought-provoking analyses of "gaslighting", unreliable narrators, police interrogation techniques and Dan shares a story about what happens when a Sims game goes wrong.

This week the Idiots tackle the beautiful ungainly beast that is Fyodor Dostoyevsky's final novel, The Brothers Karamazov. Topics covered in our wide-ranging, all-singing, all-dancing conversation include Dan's brief unsuccessful time as a farmer, Subway's use of complex mathematical proofs to upsell sandwiches, why Friends works better when it's in French and an unfortunate realisation as to what the show's catchphrase is. Today's episode is sponsored by the Pistache Child Rehousing Project, helping to rehouse kids no matter what their parents have to say about it.

In this week's episode the Idiots attempt to disentangle the mystery behind Erin Morgenstern's 'The Night Circus' with the help of special guest expert Kat Sadler. We consider the lasting appeal of Fantasy as a genre, examine clown unions and send a special message to an estranged wife. Visit Kat's site: http://succubusmag.com/ Also, check out Chris Coltrane's Lolitics Podcast.

This week the Idiots discuss Jonathan Franzen's most recent inquiry into the values of Middle Class America, "Purity", talk about nominative determinism, get hung up on the question of the age of consent as it pertains to Whoppers and Big Macs, debate who the most famous wolf is, give literary giant Franzen some notes on his opus, and agree that they need to stop talking about the age of consent on the Podcast.

In this week's episode, the Idiots are down by one because Alice didn't bother reading the book and was put in a time out. The remaining Idiots discuss Audrey Niffenegger's non-linear science fiction love story "The Time Traveller's Wife", Chin sings a song while Dan, Josh and Haran ponder whether there's anything more time consuming than having a penis.

This week the Idiots discuss Louis De Bernieres' tale of love during wartime and ask all the tough questions such as "How did war?", "Why is Hitler?", "Who am gay?" and "What is 'Lub'?"

In this week's episode the Idiots discuss Paulo Coelho's 1988 novel "The Alchemist", figure out which is the best House Robot on "Robot Wars", uncover the underlying racial themes in the movie "Predator" and discover that this book isn't all that forthcoming on how to actually turn base metals into gold.